[p.s. I love this post! I just read it over to check for spelling and all that crap, and I'm very happy with it! :) I just wanted to share, because I'm in a silly good mood!!]
I just got my period, so I feel back to normal instead of feeling so insecure and so intensely tired! But then again, maybe that's somewhat normal, too. Hmmm. Anyway, though, I'm a happy girl because of it!
I had a good day, which is good considering that I had hardly anything

planned! Well first, last night after work I got my bikini wax and I love it because I feel clean again. The girl took off a little more than I was expecting, though. I told her to do a little triangle and when afterwards I looked, I first thought she'd done the triangle upside-down, but then saw that it actually looked more like a diamond, and was a very small diamond at that! Oh well, because it's pretty and I'm clean and thus happy. And no kneeling while my butt got done this time, I was just more in the position of a seal - lifting my chest and reaching back with both hands to spread the butt cheeks. So funny! (And the picture I found for a diamond shape is just cracking me up here!!!!)
After that I met The German and made him go to PetSmart with me so he could help me carry a bunch of cat food back. And then we went to a very cute little Italian restaurant that's half a block from me but that I'd never been to. It was very nice and very yummy, but I had to pop four tums when I got home and had a bit of a stomach ache for a good two hours after eating - not a full feeling but I think it was a no-galbladder kind of pain. When The German left, I stayed on the couch because my stomach was feeling good there and also because I was so tired, and I of course fell asleep right there but managed to move to my bed at 4 a.m. when James woke me up.
This morning I slept in a bit and would have kept sleeping but The German called and told me I had to get out of bed and go outside for a bit because the weather was so nice. So he was going to come up and walk around with me before he caught the train up to his boat. Then five minutes later, as I was still laying in bed and contemplating whether I could just sleep for half an hour more or should get up, my building manager called because the future renters of my apartment wanted to look at it. I told him that they could come up in twenty minutes.
Just the guy had been to look at it a couple weeks ago and even then he was on the phone with his girlfriend for a good ten minutes while walking around and answering a bunch of questions. And when eventually saying he would take it, was hoping that his girlfriend would approve and asking the manager what would happen if his girlfriend didn't like it. I knew then that he was a pussyass, and that she was the complete boss, and when I saw them together today it was apparent that I was right in my assessment. He stood like a little mouse while she looked around and asked me a bunch of questions. That's the last kind of guy I would want to be with! Bleh!
But anyway, The German came a little after that and we headed outside into the amazing weather! He had about forty minutes before he had to get on the bus to the train, so I got a coffee and we walked to the zoo and saw the wolves, the lions and tigers, walked by the camels and goats and such, and saw the pigs, and then I walked him to his bus and continued on home.

After I showered and prettied myself up, and packed up my high heels in my backpack, I went to meet
Violet for our hour and a half class called Introduction to The Art of Exotic Dancing. And the class was so fucking amazing!!! Every single woman should take this class! There were I think fourteen women in our class, or maybe twelve, and we ranged completely in age, experience and body type. But as our instructor told us at the beginning, the class was for us, to learn a few moves and realize our sensuality and gain confidence, so even if we never danced for anyone ever, we would realize how sexy and gorgeous we all were. Because we women can tend to be just slightly critical of ourselves! This class was as much about sexy dancing as it was about seeing ourselves as sexy creatures - how cool is that!
So let's see - we learned the sexy little walk where we take a step and drag our other foot forward, and we learned to put our hips into it, and then our arms into it with the come-hither movements, as well as body tracing movements (which I personally love!), and then we moved onto eye contact, which for many of us is the hardest. First we were just doing our sexy walks forward towards the mirrors, and then stopping to stare at ourselves. Then she had half of us stand on one side of the room and half on the other side, and we were paired up with someone we didn't know, and each side of the room had to take turns, first just walking toward our partner on the other side while maintaining eye

contact, and then doing the whole sexy walk toward them while maintaining eye contact. I was first a little nervous about that, and it was slightly awkward - the keeping eye contact with a strange girl - but it turned out to be okay, and all of us were laughing and clapping for each other, it was so wonderful!! Strange women encouraging each other and all having fun and being sexy! Then we went back to doing our own walks toward the mirror, and we learned the standing hip swivel and half hip swivel, and then the hip swivel while on our knees, and how to get down to our knees and back up, and also the leaning forward with our hands spread high against the wall while hip swiveling (Violet and I liked that - the frisk-look!), and also the sliding on our back down the wall and doing a quick opening wide of the legs. Oh, and we also got to use the little feather boas, and of course have our high heels on!
The whole class was just amazing!!! And there's a slightly more in-depth class that lasts three hours, where they teach the same things we learned today but also floor moves and some other stuff. And there's also another class that teaches some chair dancing! I want to take both!! I love sexy dancing, and honestly, when I dance by myself at home I do all the sexy arm moves and body tracing and little hip swivels, so this is just giving me more to work with!! It's so wonderful to remind yourself that you're hot and sexy!! :) Oh - and I need to get a full-length cheap mirror that I can set out to practice my walking moves - both for this exotic dancing and more importantly, for belly dancing, which is surprisingly hard! This class just seriously kicked ass!!!! Every woman should take it!!!
After the class I walked for awhile and then stopped and got a manicure and pedicure - which I only do a couple times a year usually, because I'm cheap and can do it myself. But it was only $40 for both, so this place was pretty cheap! And my feet now are in pretty shape for the start of summer! Only I think I picked too bright of a nailpolish for my feet (my fingernails are clear) so I may have to put a lighter color on top of it tonight. I love feeling pampered right now, though! My hands and feet feel so soft! And I loved the wonderful massage chair during the pedicure!
Right now I'm very relaxed, and also feel fulfilled and very positive. I haven't turned the TV on all day and I love that. Instead I'm listening to wonderful music, and I hear the noises from outside because the balcony door is open, and James and Emma are on the couch with me. I feel good! And I finally called my grandma a couple nights ago, so I'm happy about that, and it was so nice talking to her. I saw that my grandpa called while I was getting my pedicure so I'll try calling him maybe tomorrow morning or else tomorrow night.
Oh - at work on Friday, everyone was joking about me having a blog because this one guy found out that I had one and decided to tell everyone under the sun. A couple people said they were going to try to find it. As a result, I'm seriously thinking about either deleting everything but the last month of it (after printing it all out, of course), or deleting this one entirely and restarting a new one. I'm leaning maybe toward the first option, just to get rid of some of the stuff out there should anyone find this who I wouldn't want reading EVERYTHING.
I'm going to paint my dollhouse now! Finally! I haven't done anything on it for about a month due my stupid laziness and just sitting on the couch with the stupid TV on. But not tonight! Last night I was talking to The German about my frustration with myself and my never doing anything and lacking energy, and about how I was so excited when I stopped drinking because I believed I'd be accomplishing all kinds of things every evening instead of drinking. Well, I'm not drinking, but I'm also not accomplishing anything. I had talked to The Meat about it during the week, and he said I need to just start doing something as soon as I get home and most importantly, not turn on the TV or it just sucks you in and sucks the life out of you, and it's so true! So I was telling all this to The German, and he said to me, "It's your choice now. Either you do something or you don't, but you have the ability to do anything now that you're not drinking, so it's all up to you."
And he's so right! It seems so simple! I can't blame anything anymore, so it's all up to me and it's my choice whether to get off the couch and accomplish things, and whether I get out there and live life. And in a way, I feel empowered just by thinking that - that
I can do anything, but it's up to me to make the choice and to do it.So with that said, I'm now going to go paint my dollhouse! [Only I want to play my music on the stereo while I do it (right now it's just playing low on my computer) but also I told this guy who's visiting his sister who lives with the maintenance guy that he could stop by if he wanted to and show me a couple new chords on guitar (but I didn't
really mean it - I'm just so bad at saying no!) - and now he's come by and knocked on my door two times already this evening and I just haven't answered, because I guess I'm a bit of a pussyass myself, and I know I'd end up saying yes to some other specific time if not now, but I really don't want him in here and showing me anything on the guitar so I'm just being quiet in here and not answering and thus not having to deal with it. And after all, he'll be gone in a few days or so, so I just need to be quiet in here until then! Yes, I'm definitely a pussyass!] Now I'll paint the dollhouse and just put the computer near me there! :)