Staying up late and hopefully my first bit of music on here!!
Okay, I'm not going to write too much in case this doesn't work, but I've wanted to be able to post music on here for awhile, and also to be able to join in for WDKY's
fabulous Musical Mondays, so I hope this works! And I think I might sometimes be adding music on days besides Mondays, at least at first - because there are so many songs I love!!!
Anyway, this first test song is Windfall by Son Volt
, and it's such a pretty and cool song and I listen to it over and over again whenever I play it, and it's also good because it makes me think of Florida and Asparagus as I first heard the song a few months ago when I went to a Son Volt concert with them. So I love the song, I love Florida and Asparagus, and even though there are about 1,000 songs I thought about doing first, this is the one that won out today!
It's 2:32 a.m. on Friday morning right now, but I'm still going to date this from last night because that's just what I do. I stayed up late so I could actually get things done, and the middle of the night is when I'm able to focus. After work I went to a grocery store - a wonderful little store about eight to ten blocks down the street from me (I took the bus back to my place cause I would have died trying to carry the stuff all the way back in my heels). I love this store because it's so ethnic and has a huge amount of counter/refrigerator things where guys get the stuff for you (can you tell I'm not an expert grocery shopper?!), and I even waited and got some feta from the guy (there were five or six kinds of feta to choose from) and waiting and all that is a little out of my comfort zone so I was proud of my little extra effort there.
Well so anyway, I got some good food and some healthy stuff and some fruit and what not. And when I got home I tore up some of the fresh spinach and cut up some of the feta and put some walnut pieces in and had myself a salad. It was pretty good, so maybe I'll be able to make that sometimes. I didn't eat anything else but I had a huge lunch - there was a little retirement party at a restaurant in Greektown so The Meat, The Queen, Florida, Freckles, The Italian Chef and I all went. Tomorrow morning I could have yogurt, or an orange, or an English muffin. I think maybe I'll have the English muffin and bring a yogurt and an orange with me for lunch - it's a plan now!
Okay so anyway, after I got home from the grocery store it was almost 8 p.m. and I really wanted to be so productive and do all my dishes and vacuum, and also it's TIC's birthday on Saturday so I bought brownie mix to make brownies for her for tomorrow - and I'll be writing on it with frosting and putting some candles in there for her to blow out tomorrow afternoon! Well anyway, after I was good and made my salad and ate it on the couch, my butt didn't move back off the couch and suddenly it was almost midnight and I was getting so tired but I hadn't made the brownies yet, so I decided to just be productive. I made coffee and I spent an hour doing all the dishes and cleaning the kitchen, and then I made the brownies and while they were cooking I started putting blue tape around my dining room because I'm definitely going to paint that this weekend.
Now the brownies are all out and cooling so I can put the top on it and I'm going to go to bed very soon but first I need to exfoliate my face cause my skin is just rough in a couple places so that needs to be fixed!
Tomorrow after work I'm supposed to meet the guy whose son's pictures I took last night at the guy's boat downtown. It's kind of a weird situation because I don't understand it and I don't know yet what this guy is after or not after. But I sort of told him I'd go hang out for a bit and I feel like I'm being pursued by him in a way and that's making me a bit uncomfortable, but then again he could just be the friendly guy that he's holding himself out to be. Because after all, he did introduce me to his wife last night and we talked for awhile, and I chatted more with his 22-year-old daughter who I initially met on his boat. But I don't understand him hanging out with young girls and what's going on there. It's very odd. But because the boat is very close to my work I'll go for a little while right after work but then I'm leaving so I can get stuff done tomorrow night, and also I desperately need a mystic tan because I think it's suppose to be hot this weekend so I can't cover my white skin up with long sleeves.
Hmmm, there was something else that I wanted to talk about but now I can't think what it is. Oh well. This morning when I was walking to the train I passed a little house on a corner and the guy was mowing his little square of lawn, and the smell of the freshly cut grass was so absolutely amazing and made me so happy as I breathed in the scent over and over - I love little things like that! Oh and I accomplished one of the things I had to get done today - to call my student loan place and get a lower monthly payment and change my address and also apply to consolidate the two loans to lock in the rate before the rates go up on Saturday. I have a pretty small loan and I feel so so so good just to get this taken care of - it's the assignment my mom gave me for the week and she's been following up nicely every day and she even broke down the parts of the task for me - all because of this personality test and how she sees what I need now!
Okay, time for me to go to bed. I think it will be extra hard for me to get up in the morning, and that's saying a lot. Tomorrow night I really need to try to do at least a couple loads of laundry because it's getting desperate around here. And I'll also sweep and vacuum my place. And finish taping the dining room for painting. And then sleep in a little on Saturday morning!
Crying over Charlie Gibson and Eating/Weight Issues
I've been in a weird mood today - sometimes close to tears, sometimes feeling so hopeless, sometimes giddy, sometimes uncomfortable. And yes, I have my period so I know it's largely due to hormones.
This morning I had cramps so was moving pretty slowly, and I was watching Good Morning America as usual. It was Charlie Gibson's last day on the show as he'll now be the evening news guy. I just started watching GMA a few months ago because the TV in my room at my old place had a bad cable line attached to it and couldn't get the Today Show, and I like watching my morning shows. At first I didn't like GMA because it seemed somewhat more subdued, but I got to really like the two hosts - Diane Sawyer and Charlie Gibson. Yes, I know this sounds all too silly to even be talking about! But I really did like them! And especially Charlie Gibson! He's so cute somehow in this want-to-hug-him-and-make-him-laugh kind of way, and he really is so cute when he laughs. I think I like him because he reminds me of my dad, or a dad, or just a completely fabulous and real guy.
So this morning at the end of the show, Charlie stood with everyone surrounding him and said such nice things about all the people he's worked with, and acknowledged all the behind-the-scenes people, and also the audience. It was really a perfect little final speech. And then at the very end, his voice broke when he said "good morning, America" for the last time - and I burst into tears. It was so sweet, and so sad, and I had so many confusing and troubling emotions in me all at once. It was a little overwhelming for a bit. And of course it wasn't all over Charlie Gibson leaving, but that opened up the mini-floodgates.
In other news, my dad wanted my mom to talk to me, to make sure I'm okay. He's worried about me because he thinks I'm getting too skinny and he said that he thought my face didn't look healthy. I asked my mom if she thought I look unhealthy and she thinks I look just perfect now but shouldn't lose anymore weight. The whole weekend when I was home, my mom kept telling me that I looked so good, and I'm "so skinny now" - I have to admit that I loved it, especially because I have often felt worse about myself when I'm around family than when I'm in Chicago by myself. But since I stopped drinking 7 1/2 months ago, I have lost somewhere around 25 pounds! I can hardly believe it even as I write that. 25 pounds - that's so much! I kind of realize it when I put on a pair of pants that I wore a year ago and can shimmy out of them without any unbuttoning. I still can hardly believe it, though.
But I also know that I don't eat well at all. At all.
Meaning that I'm not getting nearly the vitamins, protein and also carbs and fat that I need to be healthy. And I'm realizing that it's even harder than before to eat because I don't have a grocery store next to me. Today I actually had some breakfast which was good - a bowl of raisin bran with the rest of my coffee half-and-half (so tomorrow I'll have to drink my coffee black). Then at around 3:00 in the afternoon I had some pretzels which I borrowed from an officemate. And at 9:30 when I got home, it was raining so I couldn't go to shopping, so I had a little tub of applesauce and some granola. Tomorrow night I absolutely must go grocery shopping after work. Right now my lack of energy and my facial unhealthy-looking-ness I'm sure are because I don't eat enough food and not nearly enough healthy food.
But I also don't want to gain back the weight that I've lost. And I still have fat on my stomach that I'd love to go away. And I also am going to admit here that I get proud of myself when I don't eat anything for lunch or just have a tiny snack for dinner. This is how it started back in 10th grade when I had anorexia. I want to be healthy and full of energy and moving forward. But I also want to be skinny and deep in my brain it equates anorexia with skininess.
So I decided to write about it here so that it's out there and not festering and growing in the back of my mind. I know what I should do - I should start eating more and eating the right foods, and start exercising. I know that having coffee and a cookie from Starbucks for a late lunch doesn't qualify as either "lunch" or as "healthy". It's just a little hard right now because even as I know these things, I still get happy and feel so good when I manage to not eat - and because I was anorexic long ago, I know that the disease is mostly about control. But I'm not having so much control lately because I've been more frequently feeling very weak and/or light-headed until I eat something. And then that makes me worry that I have cancer hidden somewhere in my body which would explain why I've lost so much weight.
I'm just all fucked up still, I guess. But not totally, because the habits and thoughts deeper in my mind are still in an early phase I feel, so I can do something about it. And tomorrow I'll make a grocery list before I go to the store - it's just so hard too because I don't really cook, and my kitchen is smaller and having no dishwasher makes me less want to really cook, and when I go to the store I don't know what to get that I'll make and I get overwhelmed and then all the easy foods I think are really bad for me (as in will make me gain weight) and so I get frustrated and leave without much food at all. So a list is the first thing - well really the first step is to plan out what I'll eat each day, things that are doable and easy enough, healthy, and that won't make me feel like I'm getting fat, or actually make me fat either. Okay, I have the start of a plan so I feel a little better for now.
Whew! I really wasn't planning on addressing that tonight but it just came out. I got to practice taking sports photos tonight for a friend whose son was playing baseball. I took a ton of pictures and downloaded them but I haven't viewed them yet to see just whether I did good or whether I sucked shit. I was hoping that tonight wouldn't be their last game so I could learn from this crop of photos and take more at the next game, but they lost tonight so they're 99% for sure out of the tournament.
Anyway, I'm not going to go into the pictures or anything else with my night because this is too long already and I need to go to bed. Oh - my carpets came and they are just amazing!!!
They look so good, and they feel so good, and James and Emma love laying on them, and I love walking on them and looking at them and touching them and kneeling on them and sitting on them, and they seem to also keep the litter and stuff from spreading all over the apartment. Oh they are just gorgeous!!! I did take a couple pictures this morning so I'll check to see if they turned out and if so, I'll put a picture up - if not, I'll take another soon and put that up because I want to share the beauty!!! :) [Okay, it's not the best picture, and I haven't gotten those rug pad things for under the rugs so the edges keep rolling up and I have to put heavy stuff on them to try to get them down, and the runner also has that little crease that keeps sticking up no matter how many times I step on it!]
Long weekend update
I had a wonderful weekend at home, but unlike the relaxing time I usually have when I visit my parents, this time I was pretty busy and also didn't get much sleep, so I'm fading quickly here. And this morning I was up at 4:30 Chicago time to get ready and get to the train, and I slept for two and half hours on the train but it doesn't really make up for the solid eight or so hours in a bed.
Okay so a quick overview:
On Friday I got to work late because I had to pack and get copies of my keys made for The German, then I spent most of the afternoon going over stuff for Monday with The Queen, although I did have a wonderful get-away for lunch with Florida! In the afternoon I left a little late so had to take a cab up to The German's to drop the keys off with his doorman and then the cab took me to get the train and I arrived just as it was starting to board and managed to sneak into the line so I could get window seat. And the trip was easy and I spent the whole time listening to music and reading my book. And speaking of my book, I know this is going to make me sound like such a dork but I don't care: I'm reading My Antonia by Willa Cather and I'm a little over halfway through, and it's just so amazing and stays in my thoughts for so long after I put it down. And while I was reading it on the train and listening to my beautiful and inspiring music, I'd look out of the window now and then to the farm fields covered in the light of the setting sun, or see some wild forest land sparkling in the sun - and I was all overcome with admiration and love for the pioneers and for their spirit and strength and their hope for something better. It was amazing! And yes, I know I sound just slightly over the top there! Anyway, my dad picked me up from the train station and when we got home, my mom, dad and I just hung out and chatted and joked and stuff like that. It was great!
Saturday: I woke up early so I could sit and have coffee with my mom and dad, and then I got ready and my grandpa picked me up at 11:30 for lunch. We went to a little golf club nearby and ate outside on the porch, under an umbrella, and the weather was so perfect and it was wonderful being able to enjoy the green grass and flowers. We stayed at our table until almost 3:00 which is an indication of how much we talked. It's been a long while since we had one of our grandpa-granddaughter lunches or dinners, so the first half of the time we talked about everything but my job and life, and I always love talking to my grandpa about things - he's so wise and so intelligent, and also in his old age has really mellowed out and isn't as argumentative or stubborn now, and for the past 17 or so years he becomes so much more loving and expressive every year.
And I have to say that by the end of our talk about my job and future and life, I felt so good and hopeful, and also as if a little bit of weight had been lifted off me because I was able to express all my fears and my frustrations with myself, both personal and professional, and also my complete lack of confidence in myself professionally. And my grandpa was so wonderful and listened, and followed up, and was understanding, and brought in instances from his life that were similar, and told me how he views me but also, most importantly, helped me develop a plan to start hopefully regaining confidence in my intelligence and ability to do things, and also a plan for when I go home, to get me feeling more in control and less frustrated. I loved being able to share with him, and I loved that he heard me, and I loved that he supported me. And he told me that I shouldn't start looking for another job until I can conquer this lack of self-confidence, because obviously I can't sell myself when I don't think I have anything to offer. So I also love that he isn't just pressing forward with the ultimate goal of another job but supports me in addressing underlying problems first. I love my grandpa and I fully see the amazing man that he is. Sometimes I get really frustrated with him and lose sight of that, but I'm so happy to see it right now.
Okay, so after my grandpa dropped me off, I rested briefly and then spruced myself up and my parents and I left for a wedding at my parents' church. This is a guy who I've known most of my life, and his family and my family have been close for most of that time. M was one grade behind me in school and he has two younger brothers, one of who was best friends with my brother all through grade school and the other was one year younger than them. And by grade school, I mean our private Lutheran school that went from kindergarden through eighth grade. And two grades shared a room because it was so small, so every other year M and I would be in the same classroom. His class was slightly bigger than mine at the end, so I believe he graduated from eighth grade with eleven people in the class whereas my class graduated with just six. (And I fully believe that this closeted upbringing is partially why I've always been, I think, a little behind other people my age in growing up).
When I was in eighth grade and M was in seventh, M was the stud of the school because he was the only guy who was taller than all the girls, and it didn't hurt that he was the best basketball player on the team either. Around Christmastime that year, M admitted to me that he'd liked me for awhile which shocked me because I had such low self-confidence, and in our little childlike way, we became boyfriend and girlfriend. I can still remember the feeling I'd get in my stomach when he would put his hand on my nyloned knee while we'd be watching some movie on abstinence in the little library. [It sounds funny but I do remember exactly that - M and I and a couple friends sat in the back row (we were at tables), and were watching a little movie on Amy Grant and her choice to remain a virgin until she got married so there were all kinds of interviews with her and her husband and all that. And under the table, M put his warm hand on my knee and I was wearing one of my short skirts and it was so exciting!] And I remember the excitement when a number of us would go to someone's house on a weekend night and watch scary movies in the basement, and M and I would sit smooshed up together and he would have his arm around me or his hand on my knee, or hold my hand. I don't have a great memory, but I will always remember that wonderful excitement of my first boyfriend, and being so excited that he liked me, and loving the feel of his big warm hand on my leg! And also - he gave me my first real
kiss - my first french kiss! And I was a little silly then and still am now, but I still know that we french kissed a total of nine times while we were "going together" - I think that's what we called it then.
Anyway, when I went to high school I broke up with him because I wanted the excitement of high school guys (believe me, it was all crushes for the longest time and absolutely no action). I still saw him every Sunday at church and very often at my brother's basketball games after school. He spent a very long time trying to convince me to date him again, and always gave me these long looks and deep stares, but while I was flattered and really cared for him, he was too good and not nearly exciting enough for me.
But ever since we dated that year, we have both cared for each other even though we rarely see each other. He started dating the girl he married on Saturday at the end of high school, and I remember sometime at the end of college she broke up with him for a little over a year and he would call me long distance and we'd talk for hours as I tried to help him and be a friend while he cried. That was while I was in law school, so it doesn't seem like so long ago. I think about a year after that time, before M got back together his now-wife, J, his family came to my parents' cottage for a day while my brother and I were home, and M and I got in the hot tub while everyone else went out on a boat ride. We kissed a little while in there. It was nice, but I knew things weren't going anywhere between us. While I love M as a person, and I love his whole family, he is so incredibly good
, and just doesn't intrigue me or excite me. So I was so happy for him when he and J got back together.
So anyway, now fast forward to Saturday, and the ceremony was so incredibly touching! M is such an emotional person and while he was repeating his vows he would pause for long moments while he tried to compose himself to be able to speak. While repeating one of the phrases his voice broke up, and it was so sweet! And J was looking at him with so much love and encouragement, and nodding at him to help him get through it all. It was amazing, to see the true love and know that their love story has taken awhile to get them to this point, but it worked.
The time after the wedding and also the reception were fun, and that was good because while we were driving to the wedding I had really wished that wouldn't have said yes to the reception. I was nervous about who I'd be sitting with because besides M and his family, I really haven't talked to any of the people who I went to grade school with but I knew I'd be sitting with them. I'll sometimes see them at church at the holidays but it's awkward and none of us have ever ended up speaking to catch up. But things were comfortable, and I really had a good time talking with them all and bonding a little again. And after dinner but before we left, I talked for awhile with M's middle brother and I just love that whole family, I love that feeling that they're almost like extended family to me because we've grown up together.
Sunday: my parents and I woke up early to go to the early church service, which starts at the terrible hour of 8:15 a.m. I admitted to my mom after we got home that I slept through the whole sermon because I just couldn't win the fight to keep my eyes open and stay awake, even though I tried because we were in the second row and I really like our pastor and didn't want to offend him - but he of course saw me snoozing the whole time.
When we got home I sat with my parents for half an hour and then went to pick up my grandma and we went out to lunch and then to her place for a little while afterwards. It was good to see her, although I'll admit that making time for my grandma is a little more like a chore, unlike with my grandpa. I love her so much though, and she's so loving and sweet - she's just gotten quite ditzy in her old age now, so it's more about listening and having patience with her. [My grandparents, my mom's parents, divorced back when I was around 8 or 9 years old, but when I graduated from eighth grade my grandpa moved to our city (and my mom had moved my grandma there a couple years before) and my grandparents slowly became friends again. There's no way they will ever be married again, but are very close now, and when my grandpa lives in Michigan for half the year he owns the condo next door to my grandma's, and they talk every day - it's of course a more complicated background story than I've told, but all that matters now is that they are each very important to each other and their mutual support and friendship is a very postive thing for both of them.]
When I got home from my grandma's, I took a half hour nap in my bed and was so incredibly tired when my mom woke me up, but I'm glad she did. My parents and I walked down the street to The P's house - they were hosting a goodbye party for another couple who has retired and are moving out of the state. So all these neighbors were there, and most I haven't talked to in years and used to play with their children when were all young. It was so cool to see them all again now! And also K, The P's daughter, was there - K and I were best friends when we were little so I loved catching up with her and reminiscing a little. And I absolutely adore The Ps, so I always love seeing them (they're my parents' best friends so I often get to see them in the summer).
One very cool thing was a neighbor dad who I'll call Mr. B. He's a 4-star general and just got back from his second tour in Iraq a couple weeks ago. I wanted to hear anything and everything he could tell me, so I was an extremely captive audience. A few of the stories he told of various experiences were pretty great and definitely not something that happens every day. I didn't really get to find out too much about what's really going on Iraq, partly because I was slightly intimidated so didn't ask too many detailed questions, and didn't want to offend him either. But I did ask a number of questions and he talked at length about whatever I asked. I also know that he is extremely upset with the media, who he says doesn't come even close to portraying what's really going on in Iraq. The whole thing was really, really interesting.
Then on Sunday night I read in the family room for awhile while my dad watched TV, and then I hung out with my mom for a long time and she gave me this little personality test that she and my dad recently took (my dad of course took it while complaining the whole time!) Then my mom and I tried to do little tests on each other, which was surprisingly hard but interesting. And then we read about ourselves and my mom was finally forced to see that I really am the complete opposite of her! The results also give advice on ways to deal with different personality types and in different situations, and my mom finally recognized a way to deal with me that doesn't make me so annoyed with her. It's actually quite wonderful - she sent me a couple of emails today regarding something she wants me to do and she put all this stuff into practice, and it's just nice to see her understanding what I have a hard time with and the steps that she needs to take to get me to do things - it took this little test to make her see it, but I love it.
Okay that's all. It wasn't the very quick overview that initially planned! :) James and Emma are so happy to have me home, and I love seeing them so happy and being able to pet and cuddle with them! I'm really tired. I know I need a very long sleep tonight so I'm going to put my clean dishes away and finish washing the few items left, and I think I'll call it a night. Oh - so exciting!! - Pottery Barn tried to deliver all my stuff today (a day early) and they left the thing on my door saying they'll try again tomorrow afternoon, so I'm going to leave work at noon and tomorrow night I'll have my rugs!!! Yay!!! Now I'm off to bed!
The German just left about ten minutes ago. We had a sweet time and then a bit of a wild time, both of which were fun. When he got here we kissed in our normal greeting and hugged, but his hug was extra - he hugged me very close and very tightly. And he kissed and hugged me again not even a minute later. That made me happy!
He had told me that he was stopping at a grocery store on his way over to my place and had asked whether I wanted anything - I didn't because I'm leaving on the train tomorrow after work to go visit my parents in Michigan - and The German is taking care of my babies for me. Anyway though, he walked in with all his bags and after our hugs and kisses he began unpacking so he could put a few things in the frige, and I found out that over half of his purchases were for us to cook dinner tonight! I love that! He did most of the prep work as I'm just so not a natural in the kitchen and he has been as long as I've known him. Anyway though, we had a romaine salad with balsamic vinegarette, a few slices of very thinly sliced steak, some chips and hummus, and for dessert he cut up strawberries and mixed in honey, vanilla and yogurt and it was the most amazing dessert ever
After eating all that stuff I was stuffed and The German said we could lie down and rest. He stripped to his boxers and I took off my work pants and we cuddled on the bed, and I honestly just wanted to go to sleep. Even when, after awhile of resting, I could tell he was horny, I wanted none of it and just wanted to lay there with him tickling my back while I went to sleep. He got up to take a cold shower cause it was a little hot in my room, and when he came back in I didn't even open my eyes I don't think but just rolled over and into him and his chest pillow! He put up with that for a few minutes until he made a sudden move and I was on my back and he was at my side and leaning over me, and I could feel a certain excitement pressed into my leg.
Anyway, I made him get me excited and encouraged him when he lightly ran his hands all over me again and again. It was so erotic, and I told him so. And it was also a wonderful tease as he would run his fingers as lightly and quickly over a certain place as he did to the rest of me. It was so good! And the whole time he was kissing my neck, how did I forget to write that first!? Yes, he started the whole thing out by kissing my neck and earlobes, and between that and the body tickle I was pretty much putty in his hands.
I'm going to speed over a lot of the fun action there to get to our bit of nastiness! :) We had been every once in awhile talking about some pictures that we'd like to take, so in the middle of him fingering me he left to get my camera. And then we resumed where he had left off but took various pictures of it this time! And after some pictures and some more play after that, he also took a few pictures of me blowing him. I've never had pictures like these of myself, so it's pretty hot for me to look at them! And we looked at them together before he left to go home.
Now a couple little things. First, at dinner I found myself feeling pressure to be fun and entertaining instead of just being me. I don't like that at all!
Second, while we were cleaning up the dishes he started talking about a friend of his in Germany who is going with his wife and little girl on a six day sailing trip - the owners of the boat are a husband and wife and they'll be on the boat and taking care of anything. But back to my point - The German then started saying that he'll probably do that - take on passengers every now and then for a little money and a little company. So he still plans on eventually getting a bigger boat and sailing it all around the world all by himself.
Okay, I keep falling asleep while writing this and when I just tried to read it over to see if I made sense and had any spelling or grammar errors I kept falling asleep again. So I'm going to bed. Tomorrow night I'll be on the train to see my parents! And I always still type when I'm at the parents' place, so I'll be writing more there probably tomorrow night. Holy fuck am I so tired, so I'm off to bed.
Completely wasted day - I really piss myself off sometimes
I've been so boring and so incredibly lazy today and am feeling like complete shit because of it.
First the painters were supposed to come at 8 am to fill in the large holes in the wall and also various nailholes, and also do some work on part of the bathroom wall and bathroom ceiling. The bossman came at 8:45 to look at what needed to be done and reported that he was on another job but would come back in "a little while" with a guy to do the work. I had planned on the painters being here from 8 to about 10 so I'd go to work after that. Bossman and the worker guy finally arrived at 11:30 and I had been about to call my landlord to get him to call the guy and find out where the fuck he was. The painter guy was very nice and did all the work and even borrowed my vacuum to clean up in the bathroom (although he mistakenly filled in the nail holes that I had just made last night - I had to remove everything from the bathroom and didn't think to tell him, and of course I didn't tell him after I noticed it, either). He ended up leaving just a little before 2 pm.
I was still going to go to work because I took yesterday off for various reasons. So after the guy left (oh and he let in a huge fly which had James and Emma so so so excited and they were chasing it back and forth down the hall - so incredibly cute!) I got myself ready to go slowly because I was feeling so dizzy - I'm so bad with taking my antidepressants sometimes and the past couple days were two of those times so while the painter was here the withdrawal dizziness hit and although I took the pills then, it takes awhile for the medicine to get to my brain to make the dizziness go away.
I left my place at 2:15 and slowly walked two blocks to a drugstore that's on the way to the train and went in to get some candy, thinking that maybe I needed some sugar. But while in there and when I walked out, I was just feeling so awful and like I could barely walk because of the dizziness and also because of the absolutely oppressive heat and more so the humidity. So I shuffled back to my apartment and laid down and fell asleep for a few hours. Oh and before I laid down I cancelled my spot in the survey because I know myself and I wouldn't go all the way downtown after not doing anything all day - it's like I feel the day is already wasted anyway.
When I woke up I instant messaged with The German for awhile because he was still at work even though it was late, and then I spent the next few hours
playing sudoku online and watching stupid crime dramas. And I was even supposed to call The German tonight but forgot until around 11:30 because of the addiction of playing game after pointless game of sudoku, and I didn't want to take the chance that he was asleep so I didn't call. That really really makes me angry with myself.
I feel like a terrible lazy fuck when I have a day like this. At least the morning part wasn't my fault, but after that it was. Tomorrow is a new day though, a new start! But I just hate knowing that I completely wasted an entire day in my life, I feel this huge weight of frustration and disappointment and anger with myself. And yes I know I'm being a bit dramatic but it's how I feel right now and how I always feel when I have one of these days (which luckily I don't have very often anymore since stopping drinking!)
But yes, tomorrow is a new day and a fresh start. Every new day is a new start and has so much potential, so I'm just going to focus on that and get up tomorrow and feel joy at being able to go to work (because I really miss everyone when I don't go and I get kind of cranky at the lack of human interaction) and feel joy that I'll get to be productive and I'll put out of my mind the things I didn't do today and the lost opportunity for $100 (fuck that makes me so mad at myself right now!), because I know I can't change it now so I need to not let it weigh me down. It's hard right now though, and I'll feel bad when I go to work tomorrow after being gone for two days. Ugh, I'm just not in the positive mindframe right now! So okay, tonight I'll let myself still feel the frustration but tomorrow I'll try to be very positive and happy from the start! And I'll get to pick up my pictures that I ordered for printing, and I just love getting pictures, so that's something to be excited about!
Progress on my apartment, Saturday recap and lots of pictures!
Last night James came mewing for love right as I opened up the "create a post" box, and in the middle of rubbing his belly I closed my eyes and was then too tired to do anything but get us all ready for bed. He's feeling much better and is back to his usual self but is still having some diarrhea, so I started him on some medicine today - it's a liquid with tuna flavor and I suck it up with the little syringe-thing and squirt it in his little mouth, which is much much much easier than trying to get him to take a pill! Little Emma is completely healthy again, so no medicine for her!
I've just hung up a number of my pictures (after SP left as he came over for a bit) and it makes my place seem so much more comfortable and like home. And I also ordered a carpet and runner online today, as well as a few other decorative items - I'm so excited to get them! Yesterday after work I went first to Pottery Barn to look at a few of the carpets that I liked from the catalog (and that were reasonably priced aka within my means sort of) and found the perfect one, it's soft and thick and just solid red but with a slightly different thick border somehow so that it stands out - oh I'm terrible at describing it, I'll actually post some pictures once I get the rugs (both the runner and area rug are the same kind).
Anyway, after PB, I went to World Market and got a pretty little basket for the babies' toys to replace the old shoe box that they had been sitting in, and I also got another picture frame with openings for three 5x7s - I bought one a little while ago and decided that I needed another (oh and today I ordered a ton of pictures to be printed and they'll be ready tomorrow, so I can start filling these and other frames I've bought - yay!). And then I went to Bed Bath & Beyond and got the little drying thing for in my sink, new sheets and a spectacularly cheap new duvet and sham set, some little shower scrubbers, a paper towel holder and some other little things - and I had a ton of coupons for most everything, too. And today I went to Sears and got a little carpet for outside of the shower, a carpet to put under and in front of the babies' litter pan to hopefully catch some of the litter that somehow makes it's way throughout my entire apartment, and I also got two king-sized pillows for the new shams (and they were on sale, too - yay!). And speaking of the king-sized pillows, they look so fabulous and make my bed look like an actual real gorgeous catalog-worthy bed - why didn't I get these earlier!?! Oh and I also got two rolls of quarters for the laundry machines downstairs but of course I didn't go down and do any today so I really do seem determined to go until my last pair of underwear! Already I'm out of pajama pants so I walk around here in tank top and thong, which I'm sure my neighbors are loving.
So in conclusion, I have made great headway in fixing up and decorating my place! Not that it's nearly done and I still haven't even chosen most of my paint colors, but I'm on my way more now. And tomorrow I'm going on a survey from 7:30 pm to 10 pm and getting paid $100 for it! Oh and also, tomorrow morning a painter is coming to fill in some of the holes in the wall left by the previous tenants (not holes as in punching a wall but holes left due to their decorating - they liked to use these plastic things that they'd stick in the walls and then insert a screw or nail into) and prime over the plaster, so once that's done I'll actually be able to paint - as soon as I choose the colors, of course.
I want to write about my fun Saturday relatively quickly, because it was such a fun day! I managed to wake up and be completely ready at 7 am (those who know me understand how amazing it is that I was ready that early let alone even awake) to be picked up by some guy who then also swung by and picked up The German, and we drove down to the Chicago River on the south side somewhere and met a number of other people who were all, like us, going for the ride to take this guy's sailboat through the Chicago River and out into Lake Michigan. I should have kept count of the number of the bridges that we had to pass under - each one of which had to rise for the little fleet of sailboats (there were only eight boats since it's pretty late to be just getting a boat out to the harbors).
The whole trip took from 8 am to probably about 12:30 or 1 pm, which was actually pretty good timing because we didn't have to wait an extraordinarily long time for any bridge, and the guys raising the bridges didn't decide to go for an early lunch that would leave us all sitting for an hour between bridges. There were fourteen people on our boat so we had quite the crew! I only knew The German, but talked to a number of the others and they were all very nice and very friendly. And I took a number of pictures, as you can imagine! I'll see if blogger will comply in letting me upload a few.
Anyway, after the river and going through the lock to get to Lake Michigan (and in the lock one of the boats in our fleet tied up to us - an amazingly gorgeous and completely decked-out boat that we found out was a Hallberg-Rassy, which wouldn't have meant anything to me before that but The German explained that said Swedish brand is the Rolls Royce of sailboats), we made our way in the very wavy lake to the nearby harbor where we docked. After that The German and I got some gatorade and water and sat in the shade under a tree looking out at the harbor (the same one where his boat is kept) and I at first didn't want to go out on his boat because I was a little tired and had already been in the sun so long, and it was really windy out, too.
But I gave in after The German told me that we definitely wouldn't put up the sails because it was too windy for us, but that I could just get used to some rougher seas. And at first when we were rocked around by the waves, I was a bit scared. And every few minutes we'd get bounced around by some particularly big waves. But whenever The German would ask me if I wanted to go in, I said we could go for a little more. We were just motoring back and forth between the Planetarium and Navy Pier, so the harbor was right in the middle and we could go back in easily. After a little while, whenever we'd get close to the Planetarium and be blocked from the biggest waves that were coming from the southeast, I would get bored and head out towards the more wavy water! It was actually great fun even if it was scary now and then! And I think also after awhile I was learning more how the boat moved in the water and was feeling much safer. Oh - it being a Saturday afternoon and summer in Chicago, weddings abound and wedding parties like to get their pictures with the Chicago skyline in the background. At the planetarium there were once four wedding parties at one time there! I took some pictures of them getting their pictures taken! :) And when we got off the boat there was another wedding party right by the harbor.
Okay, that's that. It was great fun, and then The German came back to my place and went with me to get the air conditioner and installed it for me. And we also got hot dogs from a place near me that were just spectacular! I'm going to try to upload some pictures now, so I'll either be cursing blogger in a minute or breathing a sigh of relief that I can share them. [I was cursing blogger and then read that other people were sometimes able to get the pictures working on newer blogs so I uploaded them to a different blog and then copied and pasted. So it worked but it's still slightly frustrating that it's not working properly!]
So, here are a few of the pictures from our fun day!
On this bridge, the whole middle part was raised by the weights on the right. Usually it sits just above the water (and I go over it on the Amtrak when I'm on my way to visit my parents).
This was the Roosevelt bridge raising, and we were leaving the more industrial part of the river and things were starting to get more scenic. Three bridges were raised at one time!
We were in the more active as well as pretty part of downtown here.
The future Trump Tower and the Wrigley Building to the right.
One of the newlywed couples being photographed by theirselves at the Planetarium.
And a wonderful little cloud that gave us a reprieve from the sun on our walk back from boating, although by the time I finished taking pictures of it the sun was back out :)
My babies and air conditioning worries
Little James has been feeling sick today and it's made me really worried that there's something in my apartment here that's bad for my babies. He's had diarrhea a number of times, and just isn't his little James-self at all. On the good side, little Emma seems to be all well and is her sweet little Emma-self, and she was having diarrhea all Friday morning. So I hope it's just a little something that she passed to him and that he'll be back to normal tomorrow. But I hate seeing him sick and being so lethargic!
Today I've just stayed in my apartment and done some cleaning and took an afternoon nap and called my grandpa and dad for father's day, and talked to The German and MWFB.7:15 Monday morning now
I saw little James heading towards the bathroom last night so I stalked him down the hall and waited until he was in the litter pan and then spied in to see what was coming out - it was more diarrhea but from what I could see in there it looked to have a slight bit of form maybe, whereas before there was no form, and I thought maybe there wasn't quite as much mucus (sorry!). I cleaned his little butt for him and then he was more bright-eyed for a little while and then was accepting cuddling and wanting his belly rubbed, so I of course laid on the bed with him and cuddled a lot. And he cuddled into my side when I got under the covers for bed, and he also woke me up sometime during the night for cuddling. So that's a very sign! I don't know if he's had any more diarrhea.
Oh - a good sign - he just came out of the bedroom crying his hyper cry and tried to jump on Emma's back, which is what he does when he's hyper! And hyper is good cause it means he's feeling better!
On Saturday night I bought a window air conditioning and The German installed it into one of my living room windows for me. It works so so so well! And even has a remote - how cute is that!? Of course, it means that the companies know Americans are lazy and don't like to get up from their couch, but I admit that it's kind of true in my case and the remote fucking kicks ass! But here's the little thing - I'm terrified of my landlord calling to tell me it's not allowed. Yesterday when I heard a lot of activity on the stairs I actually turned the TV (with World Cup on!) volume down really low so if someone knocked on my door I could not answer. I hate getting in trouble!
The reason I'm so nervous is because when looking at all the places on my building, I only see one other AC! But what the fuck, are these other people all scorching in the crazy Chicago summer heat? In my view, a place is not habitable if it doesn't have AC during the summer! The provision in my lease that they could point to, and which they would be correct in arguing for no window AC, reads "Lessee shall not place nor permit any article or antenna outside of the window, on exterior walls, or on the roof of the building...." I conferred with MWFB and he agreed that they could point to that provision. And the fact that my apartment is one of the few that's right out front on the street is even more worrisome. (So many words that I'm typing right now look misspelled. I'm not sure if they are or not but am not going to take the time to check so please ignore any misspellings.)
But one more thing in the lease - an earlier provision reads, "Lessee shall not install or operate any machinery, refrigeration or heating devices...which may be hazardous to life or property." Now I read that as them in some way anticipating that tenants may use AC or heaters, and are just in this provision limiting it to safe devices. Oh and they also use the word "install" there, and the only way an AC device could be installed in this apartment is in the window. And the lease does not specifically say that window AC units are not permitted, and if they really really really cared, they would put that language in the lease or at least should put it in. Of course, this is just a boilerplate, form lease that they're using, but still!
Well so anyway, you can see that I'm very much overanalyzing and worrying about this, and I can't take the stress of waiting for a phone call and I think if I got a call that was telling me I couldn't do it, I would start crying. So I'm going to call the landlord's office this morning and tell them that I put one in and ask whether that's a problem as I don't see any other AC units. And if they say it is, I'll talk them into letting me put it in the bedroom in the window curved away from the street (and I want an AC in my bedroom as it is - I didn't get two right off the bat in case there was a problem). But then for the living room I'll have to get one of the portable units that are almost $400, which is a shitload of money to spend on an AC! It would still have to be ventilated out the window but there's some hose and at least one of them comes with some fitted thing to put in the window, some sleeve or something. But I really hope I don't have to spend all that money. Because I absolutely must have AC, or I would just lay on my couch and not be able to move all during the summer. And most importantly, I won't allow no AC because I will not allow my sweet babies to suffer in the heat. I already gave them summer hair trims by trimming all their belly fur, but they have a ton more fur on them!
Okay, that's that. I need to get ready for work! Tonight I'll write about my fun Saturday and post pictures!
[Update, 12:05 p.m.
- I feel soooooooooooooooooooooooo relieved. I just called and spoke with the nice receptionist lady and told her that I bought an AC this weekend but was so nervous because I only see one other person having an AC, and asked whether they cared about us getting them and she said, "oh, no, not at all." I told her she made me so happy because I was so worried about someone coming and knocking on my door and telling me I was breaking the rules! I'm so relieved!!!!]
The opera and my night with The German
I just got home from a meeting and from walking way too far to find an open grocery store. My feet were hurting as I was wearing very cute heels that are comfortable in general but not after walking all day and for 8 more blocks. But I managed to find one and got more cat litter for the babies which they desperately needed! And little Emmalove had poopy butt when I got home so I cut it out and trimmed all her little butt fur while I was at it. She's happy now! And by their food dishes there was another one of those motherfucking centipede things - although I'm not sure exactly what it is, only that it's long and has many legs. It was luckily smaller than the first one, and not moving at all so it was easy for me to kill the awful thing. I didn't get around to calling my landlord back today so tomorrow morning for sure
, and along with filling the holes left in my walls, I'll be asking for some kind exterminator to come (and to make sure it won't hurt little James and Emma).
Well, I'm exhausted. I'll report on the general events of last night but not go into it all that much. First, the opera show at Ravinia was fabulously wonderful! Before it started, the composer and conductor came onstage with someone from Ravinia and he interviewed them at a little table. That was really cool! And I liked hearing from the composer how he came up with various things and how his mind works, and why he chose to have a woman play the part of the man about who the opera was written. He also had a fabulous accent!!
So it wasn't a full opera or anything as it was only about an hour and a half long. The music was amazing and he had three guitarists for the flamenco-type music. And he really did so many different and cool things that I can't describe because I don't know any of the opera or music terms. And I loved it! I had chills running down my spine many times, and I was taken away by the music many times, and at the end I actually stood clapping at my full loudness the entire time whereas usually I tend to fake clap because it hurts my hands. I wanted them to know how amazing I thought they were and how much their music and performances touched me!
And by the way, I never even said the name! The opera is called Ainadamar ("Fountain of Tears") and the composer is Osvaldo Golijov. It's about the Spanish poet Federico Garcia Lorca, who was murdered in 1936 at the beginning of the Spanish Civil War. I'm intrigued by him now and want to learn a little more and read some of his poetry. [And by the way, I'm again trying to post a picture here and blogger is doing nothing
even though it acts like it's uploading it!]
Anyway, The German also really liked it, even though sometimes during the performance he was trying to sillily distract me and I had to hold his hand tight, give him a sideways "stop it!" glance, and ignore him a little. Yes, he was misbehaving! We took a couple of very cute self portraits while waiting for the Metra to arrive afterward, and he also hugged me tight to him for awhile. And on the train ride back, he had his arm around me and let me close my eyes and rest on his chest. And when the conductor came around, he bought a ticket to my stop.
So he came home with me and he spent the night - yes, he did, and yes, we did. I had a feeling he was going to stay when he walked me in, because of the way he had looked at me sometimes during the evening and also the night before on the boat. And when he looked at me that way, I was actually saying to him in my mind, "do you realize that you love me?" So anyway, he first played with James and Emma because he knows how much I love that, and then he asked me for a towel and took a shower. I got under the covers and closed my eyes while he showered because I was so so so tired, and I was actually kind of hoping that he just wanted to cuddle and would wait to get down to the fun of fucking until the morning - but once he curled behind me and started rubbing his hands over me I quickly was quite okay with some action right then! However, I do think that we need to work on our rhythm together a little, because sometimes it's just not working. But it was still very good!
Afterward and after some cuddling and before I fell asleep I got up to do all the getting ready for bed and cleaning out the litter pan etc. and then went back to bed. He immediately cuddled up to me and I fell asleep for awhile with him spooning behind me. When I woke up suddenly and needed to turn and sleep on my stomach he was a little disappointed and still draped a leg over one of mine and had his top arm over me. In the morning when we woke up, I gave him a morning blow and then got in the shower while he made us coffee, and he was happy that he had twenty minutes to sit on the couch with me and drink our coffee together. And he loved the morning light coming through my front windows, which I just adore, too! And I was thinking that we could be happy living together, provided we had two bedrooms so the extra one could be his "office" where he could play his video games and have his space.
So that's that. We emailed back and forth a few times at work today, because my yahoo messenger still isn't fucking working at work, which just pisses me off! And one of the cool computer guys even came up today and tried to get it to work and wasn't able to find out what was wrong with it. And he even set me up as an "administrator" and it still wasn't working. He also asked me out, which he's done before, but luckily he also asked if I was seeing anyone and I told him that I am right now. He still emailed me pictures of himself later though. And asked me to lunch for tomorrow, which I felt obliged to accept because he was still working on my computer. Oh well.
Okay, I'm starting to shut my eyes while typing now, so that means that it's for sure time for bed! I can't wait to sleep more tomorrow night, and also to have nothing to do tomorrow night. I think I'll sweep under all my furniture to see if I can find any more of the motherfucking gross-ass centipede creatures to viciously kill!!!
Gross creatures, fishing, boating, and other exciting stuff
Okay, I've just had my first three bad experiences in my apartment and they all happened within an hour of each other! And all three involve bugs! This scares the shit out of me! First a spider in the bathroom, and the ceilings are so high so I couldn't get it for about a half hour until it came down lower, and the little ugliest grossest creepy thing was so active and exploring the whole fucking ceiling before coming down low enough to kill. Second, a spider in the living room on the windowsill of the one open window, and I discovered it literally two minutes after first finding the bathroom spider and when I went to shut the window - I killed it by smashing the little fucker with my shoe. And third, and perhaps most disturbing of all, was some kind of speedy little asshole with tons of little legs, and it was racing around under my coffeetable and almost got under my couch but I slammed a book down on top of it.
Motherfucker, this isn't boding well - right now I'm thinking about how I'm going to put clear tape around every one of the screens in the whole apartment, and I also noticed a little hole in the floor near the corner in the kitchen so I'm going to put clear tape over that, and I'm thinking about the millions of other ways that they can get in an older place like this - and it's scaring the fucking shit out of me! I just know I'm going to dream of spiders and creepy-crawly things tonight, and even now I can't stop searching every inch of the room with my eyes!
But before discovering the spiders and centipede thing, I had a wonderful, fabulous day! Work was fun, and The Silly gave me a couple tickets to an opera that's playing tomorrow night at Ravinia, and the seats are amazing!!! I'm so ridiculously excited! I've never been to Ravinia and also never seen an opera, so it's going to be just perfect! But I'll be able to talk more about that tomorrow night, and post some pictures of Ravinia as well, of course. :) Yay! Oh, and The German thankfully said he'd go with me so I didn't have to search around for a date and feel like a loser.
Well anyway, around 2:30 in the afternoon The Meat, Freckles and I all headed over to the lake to do some fishing! It was absolutely the most perfect weather ever, around 70 degrees, perfectly sunny skies and a light breeze. I love love love that we got to go out and enjoy the day! And after a little while, Florida was able to get away and meet us, which I just loved! We all fished for a long time with two rods, but the fish weren't very hungry - but I caught one, a beautiful little Rock Bass! It actually didn't give any fight at all so I think maybe it wasn't very healthy. We of course threw it back, but not before I posed with it for a picture! I was a complete wuss though, and embarrassingly squealed like a little girl when I tried to hold it (and only with thumb and forefinger in its mouth). But I caught it and did finally manage to hold it! And even though we didn't catch any other fish, it was the best time just being with them all and being outside in the sun and by the water. [I've tried forever to put a picture of the rock bass in, but blogger is just fucking it up again. I'll try later to put it in, and a couple other pictures that I wanted to put in as well.]
And afterward, I walked back to work with The Meat and we got a chance to chat for a bit, which was very good because I could tell that something was bothering him and I was able to be a friend and just listen, and he was able to get it out. So even though it's nothing I can help him with at all (it's issues with his children), I hope that I helped a little by letting him talk about it. But I'm still bothered, because I just want him to be happy and I hate when something is weighing on him and making him feel blue. He deserves only the very best and to be happy and content and feel joy often. I wish I could do more to give him that.
Anyway, I left after just a bit to meet The German, who left work very early to get downtown at just after 5 p.m. And we went out on his boat! How fun was my day!?!! We motored out a little way and then put up the sails, but there was no wind so after awhile of waiting we motored out much further and again tried to sail, and again nothing. So we relied on the trusty motor and we buzzed all around - down near Oak Street Beach and over to North Avenue, and then back towards the harbor. We were out for over three hours, and it was such fun and just so incredibly cool to go out on a boat for a few hours after work! And the views are just amazing - Chicago is so pretty! Near the end, when the sun was completely down, I was freezing my ass off so I was so happy when we were safely back in the harbor. So - I still h
aven't sailed, but soon I will! The wind just has to cooperate a little!
Okay, so it was a very fun day! And I also talked to My Wonderful Friend Benji (MWFB) for a couple hours during the day, and even though he wasn't having a good day at all I was so happy to talk to him and be there for him. And tomorrow I am just so incredibly excited about the opera and about our fabulous seats in the pavilion, and about taking the metra and just about everything! I love having things to look forward to!
And now I'm going to get ready for bed, but I think I'm going to have to read something very happy in bed or else I won't be able to fall asleep for fear of fucking spiders and huge centipedes crawling in my bed - oh God, the idea is so awful I can't even possibly express it.
A quick little bunch of topics
Yay! My place looks wonderful and is mostly put together now! I was a cleaning bee last night and scrubbed every inch of my kitchen, and then was able to organize and put everything away. And right this instant I'm feeling very happy because I think
I have a plan for my paint colors and how to tie everything together. Yes, it's not totally complete. And yes, I'll still have to get some other things after painting in order to tie it all together. But it's a plan!!! And as of right now, I think it totally kicks ass!!! :)
Yesterday, before actually getting down to the hard cleaning work, I prettied myself up and had myself a little photo session with my camera, the tripod, the remote and me, and I ended up with some incredibly sexy and artistic photos that I'm so excited about! And the windows in my new place provide just the most perfect backdrop, and the light coming in is so perfect. I wish I could share them with the world but of course I won't be doing that! I'll just share them with some people :)
And today after work I walked not all the way home, because that would be very far now, but I actually got most of the way there before I decided to take the bus for the rest of the way. Okay I just used mapquest and mapped my route and it came out to a total of 5.58 miles. It seemed longer than that! If I had walked all the way home, it would have been 6.91 miles. Oh well, I'm happy, and it was so nice outside. I was tuckered out when I got home and I've spent 99% of the time since then on the couch. Right this second little James is cuddled right into my side and I'm watching the US lose to the Czech Republic - I already heard the score earlier so I know how it ends, but I still like watching for the action and to check out the possible hot Czech men! :)
In other news, for the past week and half my yahoo messenger at work won't connect. I know the damn computer department (I'm sorry to those who work in I.T.!) somehow cut me off because I think this happened once before. But last week when I called on another computer problem I got one of the by-the-book guys so I didn't even ask him. One of the cooler guys needs to get back from vacation so they can hook me up again! I miss chatting with The German online at various times during the day!
I think that's about it. Mood-wise I'm actually mostly really happy and have been for awhile now it seems! But I also feel that a certain relationship is again possibly undergoing a change - I can feel him trying to pull away a little mentally, for both of us. I don't like it, but there hasn't been some specific time when I could bring it up, and besides I just don't like those conversations so it's not as if I want to bring it up. And I also understand it completely even as I don't like it. And I know it isn't always easy for him either. I also know that there have been other times when I knew he was pulling away but he came back. It's quite complicated, and I'm not going to go into it more than what I've just now said.
Okay then, it's time for me to go to bed! Tomorrow afternoon some of us at the office are going fishing!!! I'm going to put my camera in my purse as soon as I finish this so I don't forget it tomorrow morning!
Pictures, painting and hot foreign men!
Choosing paint colors is hard!! The only room that I'm certain of right now is the dining room, which I'm going to paint a warm blue color and I'm between three different swatches which are very close to each other. I'm pretty close on a color for my bedroom, but I keep rethinking it. And as to my living room, entrance and hallway, I'm completely rethinking my planned color scheme right now. But I can't wait to get some color on the walls so I really want to make a decision and start buying paint! I haven't yet taken any pictures of my place since I moved everything in but here are a few from right after I got my keys:
Living room looking toward closet and front door
Curved wall in bedroom (I have my new so so so comfy bed against that wall in the middle of the windows)
Dining room and kitchen
From dining room looking down hall (with bathroom directly to the right and bedroom to the right after the slight turn in hallway) towards living room
Isn't my place cool!!??!! I love love love it! It just really needs wall color and then it'll be absolutely perfect!!!
Yesterday I went down to my old neighborhood and had breakfast with Florida and Asparagus, and then we walked around some shops and then went back to their place and hung out for awhile. And then in the evening The German came over and brought some of his wonderful homemade chili (but he always makes it way too spicy for me) and we watched a movie. So it was a very good day!
And today I am staying here to finish organizing my apartment. I still have a lot of things to put away in the kitchen and some cupboards to clean. So by the end of today I will have the kitchen completely organized and gorgeous and also put away a few left over things in my bedroom. And I'll swiffer the floor, and I'll choose my bedroom paint color and put the blue painter tape up everywhere in the bedroom as it'll be the first room I paint. And hopefully I'll also go out and actually purchase the bedroom paint cause maybe, just maybe, I could actually start painting tonight!
And right now I'm half watching Mexico and Iran play in the World Cup. Some of these players are so fucking hot! And I love seeing their leg muscles! Watching this makes me so insanely and intensely horny - hot, sweaty and strong foreign guys with a shitload of stamina and a bit of wildness to them - it's my fucking perfect dream!!! No wonder I love watching the World Cup so much!
Third Anniversary with my babies!
Three years ago today I adopted little James and Emma!!! They were exactly eight weeks old, and were the kittens of a stray cat who became mostly a house cat and lived with the elderly aunt of a guy who installed shelves at my friend Jen's place - which is how I found them, as he was trying to find homes for the four kittens.
Jen drove me out to their house three years ago and I saw all four kittens in a large carrier. I knew instantly that I wanted James 1) because he was the only boy and 2) because he was so bright-eyed and curious and not scared. And little Emma was just the cutest little thing I'd ever seen and was sitting right by the door of the carrier. She cried when I held her but was so incredibly cute and very sweet. The other two sisters both hissed when I tried to reach toward them. I didn't think that was a good sign to be hissing at only eight weeks old. So I adopted the two sweetest babies in the whole world!
And the past three years have been three of the best of my life, and in no small part because of James and Emma and their silliness and unconditional love, and because of their company and their sweetness and their reliance on me, and because I don't feel alone when I'm home, and I love coming home to see them and love how they come to greet me. They are so wonderful in every possible way!!!!
So here are a few pictures from my first day with my babies, three years ago. I took them to their first vet appointment a couple days later and little Emma weighed 2 pounds and James weighed 2 pounds 4 ounces. Based on their weight at last July's vet appointment and the change between then and now, I'd say Emma now weighs 10.5 pounds and James weighs 15.
They were such cute kittens!!! But actually, I think they're so much cuter now because I love them so much more. And I know their little habits and little expressions and all the cute little ways that they do things. But so anyway, happy three years of being together to myself and my babies!!! :)
And in other news, my armoire is built! Yay! And I already unpacked the two boxes of stuff that goes in it and organized it all in there. And I also started unpacking the kitchen boxes, so I feel good! And I had my eyes checked today to make sure that the embedded object didn't cause any damage and my eyes got a full clean bill of health. And I also did a bunch of stuff on my list of things to do today! Not all, but I was pretty happy with it.
And that's all for now because I need to go to bed! And I always carry James and Emmalove into the bedroom, too, so we can all go to "kitten bed" - yes, it might be a little too much but I don't care one bit!!! :)
Painting and The German
I think my landlord may get painters to paint my place for me, and I'll just supply the paint! Which would be fabulous because then I could get it done fast instead of slowly going room by room! We haven't fully discussed it yet, but he called me this morning because I had requested that certain holes in the wall be filled and I don't know how. He wanted to come by and see what kind of holes I was talking about, and he said something along the lines of "I don't want this to sound bad, but in my experience people who know how to paint also know how to spackle." I told him that I've painted my apartments before but never had to spackle anything, and I said that if he would feel more comfortable, he could get the painters who he would have had to hire to repaint the place white and I would supply the paint for my colored walls. He said, "that's an option," and in a voice that sounded as if he liked the idea.
He left a message on my voicemail this evening and said that he would have painters come to fill the holes and then said, "so they'll have to come anyway..." and then said some stuff in an uncertain voice about me doing the painting and asked me to call him so we could discuss it. So I really think he feels better with having professionals do the painting, and I'm fine with that as long as I don't have to pay for it. So we'll see tomorrow!
The German is coming over tomorrow night to help me put the armoire back together. He's been on my mind a lot lately for a few reasons. Not that he's ever far from my thoughts, but he's just there much more right now. The first reason: for the brief moment, my biological clock is ticking and I'm so excited about having my baby girl. And I wasn't going to write what her name will be on here because I don't want the name to become at all popular, but I'm just so incredibly in love with having found the perfect name so I have to share just a little bit. But anyone who knows me cannot
name their daughter this name if they have a daughter before I do! So - Baby Caterpillar is going to be called Flora!
From one website: "Derived from the name of the Roman spring goddess Flora, deriving from flos- or floris, "flower," evoking the goddess of flowers, the flowering of spring." And also "the name of a ninth-century Spanish martyr-saint. Flora Macdonald was a Scottish heroine who helped Bonnie Prince Charlie escape the English." (I know it calls her both Scottish and Spanish but I didn't look further into it to clarify.) I got the name from Enya's song "Flora's Secret", which I have always loved since I've heard it (I just never even looked at the name) and it always makes me want to dance with my arms outstretched and spin around - and I do when I'm home alone and listening to it. A small part of the lyrics:And from all around themFlora's secretTelling them of loveAnd the way it breathes
So beautiful! So the name Flora fits all my name requirements for a girl's name - feminine, pretty, exotic, kind of European or ethnic-sounding, and not too popular. Whoever I marry will love the name or accept it, because my baby girl is already named Flora in my mind! And while I'm pregnant I'll play the song all the time so little Flora will know it even when she's born! And we'll dance to it together as she grows up! It will always be her song!
Okay - well so you see I've gone a little crazy with the biological clock! And The German has already offered up his sperm for my use. But it's more than that. The Meat and Freckles both recently said, in discussing other guys who I could be set up with, that they thought I'd end up marrying The German. Add to that the fact that for the past two plus months he calls me every morning to make sure I'm awake, which is so sweet. And also, a couple of weeks ago he was emailing me a few songs from Mark Knopfler and Emmylou Harris's new album and when he sent me the song "I Dug Up A Diamond" he wrote, "this is about you silly, diamond that you are to us men."
And also, we have had sex now three times, the first time being about a month ago. Before that I think it had been over two years since we'd actually had sex, although there would be a hookup every few months. So as I was saying, about a month ago, or maybe three weeks ago, he was over and we were laying on the couch, and he lifted me up on top of him. We were in the middle of our normal hookup when he said, "I think I want to fuck you." And I said okay. Then a couple weeks ago when he came over he pushed me on the bed and we again did the deed. And then when I stayed over at his house during the night between moving, he joined me in the shower and fucked me from behind as I held onto the tub.
So all these things added together have made me start thinking again of the possibility of being with The German. He is also my best friend and probably the person I feel most comfortable with in the whole world, and who I can always be completely myself around. And I know he loves me in his way, and he does many wonderful things for me.
However, he still doesn't want to have children. And he's completely odd and completely unjealous and knows about my sexual relationship with SP and asks me about it very often in teasing terms. And when I told him that I wasn't interested in The Coach anymore and was going to chuck him, he said something along the lines of, "good, then you can come back to just SP and I." What the fuck?!
Anyway, I know that this is a little phase because I'm feeling the urge to have little Flora, and also because the idea of The German and I together has been put in my mind in these many ways. And I know it partly sounds ideal because he is my best friend and knows me completely and all that. But he also doesn't want what I want, and I don't honestly know if he would make me happy for my whole life, and loving me "in his way" isn't enough for me, and he is a loner and doesn't need anyone and is just very odd. But that's where I am this moment, and I needed to get it out and written down.
I also wonder though, how will I ever find another guy who will be my best friend and who I will be so comfortable with? And it takes time to develop this kind of relationship. And how will I find a guy to fill that spot when The German currently occupies it?
And even as I write all this and acknowledge the improbability of it, I still have this romantic hope in the back of my mind that this is my love story, and I think of all the many ways that The German shows his love for me, and I imagine him realizing how much he loves me and how much he wants to spend his life with me, and I see him realize the loneliness in being alone for his whole life and see the idea of having a baby as something good instead of as something uninteresting. I know I've read too many romance novels and seen way too many Hollywood love stories. But they have completely affected the way I can view things when a part of me wants it to be that way.
And I know that I'm lucky to have him and lucky to have a relationship like this - I have a pseudo boyfriend at all times, and also a best friend. And then I start thinking about long-term relationships, and people always say that you need the friendship and that's the thing that lasts. But is that enough? Am I being silly to want more? Or are those cynical people right in saying that the passionate love always fades and the friendship is what is left? I don't want the passionate love to fade. Oh, I'm just frustrating myself right now with this new line of thought. It's hard for me to think about because it often makes me cry - this issue of growing old with someone and what it will be like and what we will and more importantly will not have. It's too much. Okay - enough thinking for now. I'll try to get some things done around here and then get to bed early.
I'm so tired for some reason, so I'm not going to write much. The Meat was so nice and came to my place with me after work to take my armoire completely apart so we could bring all the pieces upstairs. I think The German is going to come over tomorrow night to help me put it all back together. The Meat liked my place! And he also put a knob onto a drawer for me and gave his opinion on the paint swatches I have taped to the walls. I'm so happy that he came over because now I feel sooooooooooo much better just having the armoire in my apartment, even though it's in many pieces right now. And I also was able to show off my new place!!!
[I just woke up on the couch; it's 2:25 a.m. - I had laid down with James's favorite blanket on me and James cuddled and fell asleep on me, so I of course also fell asleep. I'm moving to the bed now and James wants more cuddling as he's walking all over me and mewing right now. I'll write more tomorrow - oh and I have to quickly add that I was very productive today and got both my sheriff's ID and guest parking passes for my street since it's zoned parking or however you say it. Yay me! I love when I'm productive (and yes, for most people it's no big deal to do two things off the To Do List, but it's big for me!). Tomorrow I will get my driver's licence! Now I'm off to bed!]
Okay, well I have made great
strides this weekend in unpacking, putting stuff away and organizing! Yay me!
My living room is mostly straightened and mostly uncluttered and everything is put away - except for the two boxes that are sitting where the armoire will
sit when I finally get it upstairs. On Saturday I checked out the back staircase and compared it to the front staircase and discovered that the back staircase actually has more room to turn at each floor and the rest is the same size. So I've resigned myself to the fact that I'll have to take it apart somewhat and rebuild it. I showed the instructions to The German last night and he wants to help but isn't completely sure when he would be able to come for a substantial period of time because things are crazy at his work. I obviously want this done as soon as possible. My poor armoire is sitting downstairs all by itself in a dark area! I'm going to bring the instructions with me tomorrow and see whether The Meat could come sometime this week, because he's a tool kind of guy.
Anyway though, my bedroom is mostly straightened and all clothes are hung up and put away. And all the bathroom stuff is put away in the cabinet across from the bathroom. And my dining room table is put together and set up very prettily in the dining room. And I have paint swatches taped up in my bedroom, the dining room, and the living room, and a couple in the bathroom as well. And I took the boxes down to my storage locker and got that all locked up tonight. I haven't hung any pictures yet or even thought about where I'll put them.
And now I get to the one area of the place that I completely should have
cleaned and organized but didn't yet: the kitchen. Yes, with the dead worm bodies in the cabinets. I've kept putting that off because it's just icky! And I have this terrible fear of finding anything alive in there, even though I really don't think I will. So all the kitchen stuff is still boxed up, but at least all the boxes are nicely stacked! If no one can come to help me with the armoire tomorrow night, then I absolutely swear
that I will clean out all the cabinets and also the large closet in the dining room. And then I'll just keep all food in ziplock bags still, because otherwise I won't ever eat any of it! It'll feel fabulous though to get rid of those boxes because then I'll be box-free here!!!
The one downside of this weekend was that I was completely antisocial because I really wanted to get cleaned and organized. The German came by last night and we went to a little Thai place nearby which was very good. He said in taking me out that he had wanted to take me out for my first meal in my new neighborhood. I think I'm going to have to write more about The German tomorrow.
But back to the point - that was my only human interaction. JWu called on Friday and some guys I knew from law school were all getting together at Mayfest that night, and a part of me really wanted to go because I haven't seen a couple of the guys in quite a long time, and I have always liked them alot. I even showered in the afternoon and prettied myself up, but then the side that really wanted to unpack and turn my new place into a home won out. And I've been terrible the whole weekend, not calling people back because I have been running around. And last night I fell asleep basically right after The German left at 10:00 and didn't wake up until 10 this morning. I called my grandma at 11 a.m. because it was her 86th birthday yesterday, and we talked until 2 p.m. - yes, for three hours. It was so good to really chat and catch up with her though! And then my mom called me literally five minutes after I got off the phone with my grandma, and we talked for an hour. So I was kind of all phoned-out after that. So anyway, basically no human interaction for me this weekend, and I also didn't get outside to enjoy the gorgeous weather at all. But I got my place looking gorgeous! I'm definitely looking forward to tomorrow though, so I can see everyone and be able to hang out!
That's about all I've got, since I didn't do anything besides unpack. It looks fabulous now, but when I get the walls painted it's going to look seriously amazing in here!!!! I'm so excited!!!! Right now I can't believe that I waited this long to live in a vintage place. I feel like I lived in boxes up until now.
I'm off to bed. I have to get out of the house earlier now to even get to work at my normal late time! Shit! :) But I showered this evening so that I won't have to in the morning, so that'll help!
Oh - I saw this recently and I think I actually heard about it awhile ago so I'm pretty sure it's old and might be very old news to most, but it's just so funny to me so I have to include it! Well WTF - again blogger isn't working - it goes through the motions and acts as if the picture will show up like it should, but then nothing appears. Fucking pisses me off! Tomorrow morning I'll give it another fucking try. I'm not supposed to be going to bed pissed off so I'll let go of the frustration now - okay it's mostly gone. And now I'm off to get ready for bed!
Details of the stressful move and my amazing new apartment!!!
I'm back! And writing from my new place, which is so incredibly cool and seems so big and I just am absolutely in love with it!!! (Except for the kitchen right now, which I'll get to.) I didn't go to work today and instead spent the entire day, starting at 7:30 a.m., unpacking. I went out for about an hour to return one of The German's library books and get some groceries because I've hardly eaten in the past 3 days. And besides the kitchen boxes, most of the rest are unpacked and a lot is put in it's permanent spot. But there is still a ton to do so I'll be up early tomorrow morning as well.
Okay, well I'm just going to go backwards and talk about the apartment first and then talk a little about how the move itself went off. On Thursday morning The German drove the UHaul to my new place for me and headed off to work, and I met the janitor at our prescheduled time of 8:45 to get the keys. And speaking of keys - there are seven
keys for this building, two for the two doors to get in the building, two for my own door, one mailbox key, one key to the room with the circuit breakers, and now I can't remember what the last key is for because I think the laundry room key is the same as the front door, but maybe that's the seventh key. Every time I need to get in the front door or my own door I end up trying a couple keys before I find the right one. I need to get color-coded keys, or get certain ones in gold and certain in silver, because it's so frustrating!
Anyway, back to my story: the janitor walked me in my apartment and explained all the keys, and also told me that the people before me had just left
- what the fuck!!?? So the place was semi-clean, meaning the floors must have been semi-swept, but all the cupboards were dirty and the floor was still plenty dirty. And this is why I'm grossed out by the kitchen: when I looked in the cupboards I saw dead little worm bodies, the kind that live in flour and such. Ew, ew, ew! I haven't tackled that yet so that's why I haven't unpacked any of my kitchen stuff other than the coffee maker and a couple very basics. But I've cleaned all the surface stuff in the kitchen and also inside the refrigerator and freezer. Sometime tomorrow I'll get to the cupboards and the closet in the dining room.
So anyway, I went out and got a swiffer and both wet and dry pads and I cleaned the floors of the whole place, and I cleaned the bathroom and the surface of the kitchen and inside the built-in dining hutch, and I was starting on some of the windowsills when my moving guys got here. That was yesterday. Today I haven't done much cleaning other than a couple shelves in closets. But the place is looking so good already!!! And it'll keep looking better and better! I just finished hanging up and folding all my clothes so that took care of many boxes.
Oh and my bed is just fabulous!!!! It's so so so comfy, so soft but not bad soft, so cushiony, so high compared to my old thin bed. It's just wonderful! Last night I fell asleep once I laid down for a tiny bit of shut-eye and didn't wake up until my mom was calling me in the morning. So I love it!!!
Okay so the move. First, I didn't go to sleep at all on Tuesday night and instead packed throughout the night, although I admit I took a couple breaks - once to play sudoku for awhile and once to give myself a pedicure. And I kept packing and consolidating more all day on Wednesday until The Queen picked me up at about 2:30 in the afternoon, and we went to pick up the UHaul. When we got back to my place The Meat was already there and the three of us took almost all the boxes down ourselves. They were on a roll and were working so hard! The two of them also got the couch out and were starting on other heavy items despite my protests, but then two of The Queen's sons got there so they helped with some of the heavy stuff. Our little system then was The Meat and I moving stuff out of my apartment and setting it right by the elevator, and one of The Queen's sons would come up and load it all on the elevator and unload it downstairs and then The Queen and the other son would take it out to the UHaul and load it on.
Everything was moving pretty quickly, but it was still stressful for me. I felt bad that The Queen's sons were having to lift heavy stuff, I felt bad about The Meat and The Queen sweating so much, I was worried that they were going to be so sore the next day. Asparagus came when we had most everything down, and he helped with loading a lot of the bigger items in and trying to fit everything. As The Meat told me the next day, when he came out and looked in the truck it was packed kind of badly by The Queen and his sons. As a result, a few items wouldn't fit inside - a console table, side table, and my grill. So we took those back inside and I started stressing internally on how to get them out and to the new place.
By the way, the UHaul truck was really nice. It was a smooth ride and the cab was really nice. It was just crap that I had to pay so much more money and have a totally different contract just because I was going to have the damn thing for over 24 hours. In some ways, the way they run the company is complete crap. But anyway, the truck was good, I just should have gotten the 17' instead of the 14' one. So anyway, The Queen moved the UHaul to the parking lot next to door to me and they all took off. I gave The Queen's sons $30 for helping, and afterward worried that it wasn't enough. Then I went back upstairs and tried to comfort little James and Emmalove who had been in the bathroom and came out to a mostly empty apartment. They were mewing their freaked out mews and creeping all around, my poor babies! And I also went out and got some Fritatten (or Frittaten) soup - my first food of the day.
I couldn't find anyone who could pick up the tables and grill for me, so I eventually called the engineer and he told me I could leave them in the apartment and they would move them to the pump room until I could get them. I was so incredibly thankful. So then I was waiting for The German to come and was trying to consolidate all the crap that I had left over into a couple monster garbage bags. I didn't plan too well because I ended up with a lot of stuff left over. When The German arrived at about 9:30 p.m., he wanted to look inside the truck and he also told me that it was packed really badly. We took out some stuff and he repacked it and was able to get my side table and the garbage bags inside. And then we packed up the babies and got a cab to his place. James and Emma were a little freaked still but adapted well to his place, I think they remember being there before. I took a hot shower and The German cooked up some bruchetta and tea for me, and then we went to bed. It was just after 1 a.m.
Oh yes, after my stress during the move out, which I knew was a hundred times easier than the move in would be, I decided to hire a couple movers to do most of the work the next day. The German ended up getting a referral from a co-worker's wife who used this guy, Luis, regularly for hard gardening and other lifting work, so through her we agreed that Luis and one of his brothers would come at 4:15 the next day and I would pay them $100. I spoke with him on the phone the next morning and he sounded so so nice.
So, Luis and his brother got here right on time and got right to work. The UHaul was parked across the street so when they got stuff down they had to cross the street and then walk along the side of the building and up two flights of curving stairs. They were extremely good workers, and so fucking strong, too! I had one of those utility dollies from UHaul but they only used it for a couple of really heavy items. Everything else they carried the whole way on their backs! Luis's brother (who didn't speak hardly any English but was so sweet) even carried my oversized chair and the very heavy base of the table all by himself on his back! So fucking strong! And so many of my boxes were so incredibly heavy, I am still amazed by their strength. And they both only came up to about my chin in height!
Asparagus got here about halfway through, and he and I (more he) helped carry stuff from the truck to the base of the stairs. Asparagus is also incredibly strong, because he was also carrying those super heavy boxes the whole way, usually over his head or on his shoulder or something. This little move has really made me realize the difference in strength between males and females - because I think I'm pretty strong but have nowhere near the strength of these guys!
So the one bad thing was that Luis and his brother couldn't get my armoire up the stairs because the turns were too narrow. And they tried for forever, and it is a seriously heavy piece of furniture. I felt so bad. But they really, really seemed to try everything. Some of the edges got really scraped up so I'll have to get one of those furniture markers or something to cover it up. They ended up leaving the armoire downstairs and I left a note on it. It's in the covered and locked area so it's safe. I've worried about what to do whenever I thought of it today, but I tried not to think of it because I wanted to concentrate on getting unpacked. And also because I would need someone to help me take it apart and everyone was working, and I also worried about still getting guys to help me take it upstairs. And I don't know how much I could take it apart because my dad put it together in my old place and it had seriously 500 parts to it.
Then Luis called me this afternoon and said he said that he just didn't feel good because of not getting the armoire upstairs. What a good guy, seriously. And he said he would happily come back and try again, either today or tomorrow or whenever. I told him that I'd call him tomorrow and I thanked him profusely. I'm thinking that maybe it could get up the front stairs because I think they are wider and they have more open spaces by the turns. I'm not supposed to move furniture up the front but I'll ask my janitor tomorrow and I think he'll let us try. First though I'm going to get my tape measure and compare some measurements of the two stairs, and also make sure the armoire could fit through the two front doors. And then I'll call Luis. He also said that if that wouldn't work he would help me take it apart a little and then put it back together when he got it upstairs. I really love Luis! And I don't even think he's doing this because I paid him more; he just has a really strong work ethic and a very strong sense of what's right. And by the way, throughout the whole move I kept deciding to pay them more and more because of how hard it was - all the carrying and even carrying up stairs. So when they left I gave them all the money I had - $180. They worked so incredibly hard and were there for a little over two hours or maybe two more like two and a half hours, and they tried so damn hard with the armoire. Still, I'm incredibly happy that Luis said he would come back because otherwise I have no idea how I would get it upstairs.
Oh - and as to the console table and grill that were still at my old place, Freckles and Swedish Meatball were so good to me and they picked them up for me and brought them to the new place! And they got to see my place!! And Asparagus was just incredibly good to me for all his help and lifting, and for leaving work early two days in a row, and for driving the UHaul to the dropoff place for me! And Florida came near the end so she also got to see my place, and then the three of us went to dinner after dropping off the UHaul. And then they drove me to The German's to pick up the babies and they drove me all the way back up to my place with James and Emma - so that saved me a big cab fare! And The Meat and The Queen were so incredible on Wednesday and worked so hard and both of them stayed the whole time, even though The Queen's wife is in the hospital for a treatment and The Meat's son had a tournament baseball game. I was so incredibly honored that they worked so hard for me and were even in good moods while they were working. I really felt loved even as I felt bad for asking all my friends to help me so much. The feeling loved part was really good though!
So anyway, I'm almost all moved in now! Just that motherfucking armoire, and all my worries will be gone! I just really really really really hope that we can get the armoire up the front stairs so we don't have to take it apart at all. And the Comcast guy came around noon today so I have cable and obviously internet again now - yay! Although I've been really good today and hardly done anything at all on the internet and instead was constantly working.
Okay, well that is the incredibly long story. I'm making a bit of a list of the things the janitor needs to fix, and he's getting new blinds and replacing the toilet seat, I think tomorrow. He seems very nice but also a little lazy, but I of course am not one to talk. I feel like I missed something though, but I can't remember what it is. Oh - James and Emma! They are finally settling in now as of tonight. Both of them are sleeping out here in the living room with me instead of in the bedroom and under the bed. And tonight they were finally walking around like they were more comfortable and not jumping at every sound, like the squeaking of the floorboards and such. So I'm a very happy kitten mama that my babies are starting to feel at home!!
I think I'll tape a couple swatches to the walls here in the living room before I go to bed, just so I can see some of the colors up while it's dark outside. I can't wait to get everything organized and put away, and then I can't wait to paint the various rooms and hallway over the next month or so!
Time to tape and then get to bed! Damn this got long!