Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Some pictures from my recent visit to see Mr. H, and some other ramblings

I know I haven't written in a long time. I'm okay with it now cause it's just the way I am - sometimes I write a lot, and sometimes not for a very long time. I'm not going to let myself get stressed by it anymore so I'm not going to say another word about it.

On June 20 (Mr. H's 36th birthday) I flew to visit him. He spent the whole month of June living and working in a cottage on an island near Vancouver, so after I landed I took a tour bus through Vancouver, onto a ferry, and about a thirty-minute drive after landing, and my love picked me up from the bus stop there. And then I got to stay with him in this cottage for a few days! I was there until the evening of the 25th, when Mr. H dropped me off at the ferry and his mother picked me up in Vancouver and drove me to the airport. And then I took an overnight flight back to Chicago, puffy eyes and all cause it's so hard to leave and I cried a bit on that last day.

It was sooooo beautiful there, and both Mr. H and I kept saying over and over again that we could stare at the water for forever and never get tired of it. It's always changing - the color of the water, the color of the sky, the presence of clouds - it's just so intriguing to look at and it's never the same. Staying at the cottage with Mr. H, looking at the water, playing with his dogs, taking pictures - it was so peaceful, so slow and relaxing and refreshing, and I was so happy being there.

Mr. H is coming here in about a month - as I write I'm not sure of the exact date because last night we decided to change it from him arriving on July 20 or 21 to him arriving on July 28 and staying through my birthday on the 31st. But because we're planning on spending the weekend with my parents at their cottage, and after realizing that there are other guests at the cottage that weekend, we can either go then with the other guests or he can come a week later. But so anyway though, I'll be seeing him in a month and I'm so happy!! And he's going to drive here from Vancouver so he can bring his dogs, so James and Emma can meet the dogs on their home turf for the first time and hopefully it will be a positive start - I'll have to reread all the articles I've saved on introducing dogs and cats and I know I'll have to remain calm myself so James and Emma don't sense my anxiety. I think Emma will probably hide most of the time, but I'm hoping to help James not be afraid. I'll have all their stuff in my bedroom and I'll have the bedroom blocked off with a gate of some kind so James and Emma feel safe from the dogs. Well, I have a month to plan for all that! And to keep my hopes very modest about their first meeting. :)

Also, in the next month I hope that Mr. H and I will make a decision regarding the immigration route we'll take. I've read up so much and made a whole spreadsheet of our options and the pros and cons of each way, and I also have a list of questions that I can't find certain answers for. So Mr. H will meet with an immigration consultant and show him or her the spreadsheet and go over these questions and ask for his or her recommendations, and then we'll make a decision and have a plan. I'll feel good having a plan and better knowing the whens and hows.

Okay - well that was the quick update. Here are some pictures now from my wonderful trip!

I made a few panoramas from my pictures, click on these pictures to view them bigger - this was the view from the cottage, it was so beautiful!!!

A dramatic evening panorama

I loved the wildlife there! Here was such a beautiful heron!


The heron and a tugboat with its logs in the background


Beautiful shell on the rock beach


In an inland bay, the reflections of these water planes were so pretty!


Mr. H's hand!! :)



The flowers were so beautiful and I took so many pictures of them in all kinds of light - this was in the morning with some dew or old raindrops still there


Rosebuds


Another picture of the rosebuds - I keep going back and forth on which picture I like better


Paint-splattered rose, which I actually really liked!


We saw so many eagles, and it was my first time of seeing an eagle in real life! They are so incredibly regal when they're just sitting there.


The eagle taking flight (I didn't have my zoom lens with me at the time but I was still happy to be able to capture some of the coolness!)


An eagle in silhouette landing in a tree


Mr. H got a new truck, it's our first vehicle together! I drove it a few times and he got this one because I can move the pedals towards me without having to move the seat so far forward!


A cruise ship leaving Vancouver and heading to Alaska


I loved the beauty of this lonely little boat


I love the reflections, the clouds, the everything! If you enlarge this photo you can see one of the cruise ships lit up by the sun in the distance, so cool!


At a little resort a short distance away, this was the view from a tent (identical to the one at the bottom of the picture) - and Mr. H and I so want to stay in one of those tents sometime now! I wish I could post more pictures of what the tent looked like inside but he and I are posing in most of them.


These were the coolest trees!! They're called Arbutus trees - they lose their outer bark and the underwood is so smooth and beautiful!

This is a bit of a funny picture! We went to the local dump to get rid of some materials, and this was the dumping spot there for unwanted toilets, poor things! :)


I love seeing and documenting little things like this - it's not just a McDonald's, it's a Canadian McDonald's!!


This was my little souvenir from this trip! He's so cute!!! I always get something at the airport when I'm leaving and I'd seen these little guys before, and this time it was finally time to get one! We named him Skooky, short for the Skookumchuck Narrows (we didn't go there yet but it's near the cottage where we stayed and during high tide it's a huge rapids of a few different inlets all meeting, or something like that)!


*******

That's it for now! The album I actually sent out to everyone had around 250 pictures in it, so it was hard to choose just a few here!

Mr. H is so busy with so many things since getting back to Vancouver, which is understandable since he was gone for a month. We just talked on the phone for a few minutes and tonight he's going to do his quarterly taxes and do a quote for a big job and also return the calls of a couple of clients - so we aren't going to have our normal skype talk so he can get all this stuff done. I completely understand and yet I'm a little sad now, feeling sorry for myself, because I love our nightly skype talks and I love being able to see his face on the webcam. So now I have to try to lift myself up out of feeling down and I'm not so good at doing that, unfortunately.

I'm trying to think now what I should do to get my mind off of it. I guess I can go shower now so I don't have to in the morning, and I can do the whole feel-beautiful-routine in the shower so I'll feel new and fresh when I get out. I don't feel like watching any kind of movie or TV cause I'd thought of seeing what movies I could order on Comcast but it holds no real interest and I really don't feel like just watching anything. My place is relatively clean so I don't need to do any kind of cleaning spree to take my mind off things, although after I clean I do feel so empowered so maybe I'll just clean my bathroom cause that's the one room I didn't clean over the weekend. Last night I read a couple magazines to lessen the stack but I was really annoyed by the time I was forcing myself to finish with the second one so I'm not wanting to pick another magazine up quite yet. I started reading The Te of Piglet a couple nights ago and I read it last night before going to sleep as well, and it actually relaxed me and made me feel kinda good - both good because I love that kind of stuff and feel like I'm improving myself and expanding my mind when I read those kind of books, and also happy just because I was reading a book and I haven't read a book in so long now and am a little frustrated by it. I'm feeling kind of cabin-feverish - nothing seems right and everything I think of doing is somehow not right either. I hate when I'm in one of these moods!

Okay, I'm going to put on happy music, go wash my face and then shower and exfoliate and all that good stuff in the shower, and then I'll read my Piglet book for a bit and see how it goes. There are some people letting off fireworks a little ways away and my brave babies don't even seem to mind!



Oh yes - Happy Fourth of July! And I know today is also CeeCi's one-year anniversary of sobriety so congratulations, congratulations, congratulations, CeeCi!!!

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

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Written by Caterpillar :: 7/04/2007 08:55:00 PM :: ::


About Me

Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly :: Anonymous

There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it's going to be a butterfly :: Buckminster Fuller



Name::Caterpillar
From::Chicago, United States

I'm a 30-year-old sometimes girl and sometimes woman living in Chicago. Over the past year I have faced my biggest demon and won, and as a result I have hope again for wonderful and fabulous things to happen! I'm still learning, growing and always trying to improve myself, but I absolutely love life and think I'm very close to becoming a real butterfly!!!
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How I Feel

"I am two women: one wants to have all the joy, passion and adventure that life can give me. The other wants to be a slave to routine, to family life, to the things that can be planned and achieved."

"Desire is an entirely free sensation, loose in the air, vibrating, filling life with the will to have something..."

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Quotes That Touch and Inspire Me

♥ I think that the most beautiful women I've ever met are the ones that know who they are, have stories to tell, ideas to share, wisdom to impart and love the skin they're in. No one can love us as we love ourselves. No one can take away our beauty and our dignity when we own those things. To me confident=beautiful. :: CeeCi

♥ I'd been feeling a little blue (for no particular reason) when I began thinking about things like attention, age and body image. Suddenly, it washed over me. I see people looking at me and I see them reacting. I began thinking about the times I notice the attention and realized its the days I'm strutting, the days I'm open and holding my head up. This got me to thinking further. How I perceive myself is what I show to others...People don't realize it, but they show the world everything about themselves in the way they move and act, in the words they say and the way they say them. A little confidence can lead to a lot of confidence. :: CeeCi

♥ When we believe in ourselves the world is an entirely different place and our place in it feels right and happy and healthy. :: CeeCi

♥ Remember that something incredibly wonderful is always possible!

♥ There are moments that are wonderful, if you let them be.

♥ Being distrustful put me in a very lonely place, a place filled with doubt and hypervigilance. I'm grateful I've learned to trust again, because in learning to do it, I learned to trust myself. :: CeeCi

♥ We're all a work in progress. I believe we will be until the day our lives end. Why fight it? I love the changes I experience. Some are certainly easier and more enjoyable than others, yet I wouldn't stop the process for any thing in the world. :: CeeCi

♥ We may run, walk, stumble, drive, or fly, but let us never lose sight of the reason for the journey, or miss the chance to see a rainbow on the way :: Gloria Gaither

♥ Happiness comes of the capacity to feel deeply, to enjoy simply, to think freely, to risk life, to be needed :: Storm Jameson

♥ Love is everything. It is the reason we are here, and the wonder we take with us wherever we go.

♥ Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow :: Mary Anne Radmacher

♥ Just live in the moment, the moment you're in. Don't live two days from now. Don't live two hours in advance. Live now. And appreciate what you have now. Don't go any further. You have this moment. This second. Breathe it. Enjoy it. Live in it. :: Open Eyes

♥ Leap, and the net will appear.

♥ I've learnt that when we express our deepest feelings, even though we may stammer or be unable to find the right words, it always pays. It pays to be authentic.

♥ There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year's course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness :: Carl Jung

♥ I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge, myth is more potent than history, dreams are more powerful than facts, hope always triumphs over experience, laughter is the cure for grief, love is stronger than death :: Robert Fulghum

♥ You must learn day by day, year by year, to broaden your horizon. The more things you love, the more you are interested in, the more you enjoy, the more you are indignant about, the more you have left when anything happens. :: Ethel Barrymore

♥ Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. :: Carl Jung

♥ I will try to be as honest as I can with myself. That is all that is required of me. I'll keep admitting and opening my hidden box of fears, hurts and insecurities, again and again, until I know each one of them by their first name. :: Anu

♥ It struck me that there is amazing beauty everywhere. Does it matter where you are or who we're encountering? There is magic all around us. The fact that we're alive, the fact that we're living in this place and time. The fact that we've met the people we've met, all of it, every bit of it, only contributes to the wonder that is life. :: CeeCi

♥ No pessimist ever discovered the secrets of the starts, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new heaven to the human spirit. :: Helen Keller

♥ Half of doing anything is believing that you can.

♥ Often God has to shut a door in our face, so that he can subsequently open the door through which he wants us to go. :: Catherine Marshall

♥ Even if it burns a little low at times, the secret of life is to always keep the flame of hope alive.

♥ The three grand essentials of happiness are something to do, someone to love, and something to hope for.

♥ Some people will say that you are going the wrong way, when it is simply a way of your own.

♥ Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. Great dancers are not great because of their technique, they are great because of their passion. :: Martha Graham

♥ Life is a series of new beginnings, and in every ordinary moment there are a thousand miracles to behold.

♥ Don't let the approval of others determine your belief in yourself.

♥ When it's all said and done, when all the opinions have been uttered, preached, shouted, and shared, there is only one thing we can do: From this moment on...love.

♥ When you're stuck in a spiral, to change all aspects of the spin you need only to change one thing. :: Christina Baldwin

♥ You have to look for the joy. Look for the light of God that is hitting your life, and you will find sparkles you didn't know were there.

♥ Be the change you wish to see in the world... :: Gandhi

♥ Life is not about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.

♥ We each have only a limited amount of time here. We have to do more with it - pay attention, explore, be open to all of life. Because we have only one chance, we have to make life seem longer than it really is. :: Viggo Mortensen

♥ Risk more than others think is safe. Care more than others think is wise. Dream more than others think is practical. Expect more than others think is possible. :: Cadet Maxim

♥ Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore! Dream! Discover!

♥ What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail? :: Unknown

♥ To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides. :: David Viscott, M.D

♥ Right now it feels like:...no dream will ever remain unfulfilled...no desire will ever remain unanswered...no tear goes unnoticed and no effort wasted...the hills are alive and so are we...each moment is fresh and waiting to happen...and there will be garbage like situations all around...but it is upto us to light mud lamps in it...and glow in our own acceptance and appreciations... :: Anu

♥ I struggle with not feeling like I'm good enough at times. Usually, its because I'm pushing it too hard and have depleted my reserve. Yet, I know without a shadow of a doubt that no matter how heavy or thin, how young or old I appear to others it's what I feel on the inside that glows through. If I could give every person on this planet just one gift it would be the unwavering knowledge that they are beautiful and worthy of every good thing the universe holds. :: CeeCi

♥ It's easier to buy into the negative things we conjure about ourselves than the positive things. Knowing that is the first step towards changing the thoughts that keep us unhappy. With time moving forward, why stay trapped in the past? All we have is right here and right now, I intend to make the most of it! :: CeeCi