Thursday, April 12, 2007

Random things

It's a little after 2 p.m. and I'm going to leave work soon because I have a lot to do at home.

Tomorrow afternoon my brother and sister-in-law are flying here for a wedding and tomorrow night they're going to stay with me - which means of course that I have some cleaning to do! My dishes are mostly all clean but I need to dry and wet swiffer and clean the rug and clean my couch and do my clothes laundry and also clean everything on my bed, from mattress pad to sheets and blankets, etc. My brother is allergic to cats, not deathly allergic but still bothered, and I'm letting them have my bed for the night. So I want as few cat hairs on all the bed stuff as possible. And actually tonight after I get it all cleaned and the bed made, I'm going to shut the bedroom door and sleep on the couch so James and Emma won't be all over the bed with me.

They'll only be staying with me on Friday night but I'm excited. And I don't know when the wedding is or when they'll have to get a cab to the hotel, but hopefully we can get some breakfast on Saturday morning too, because I love going out to breakfast!

Last night I watched Lost and then flipped to the Vancouver-Dallas hockey game cause it was on some random sports channel for me! Mr. H was of course watching it as well, and we talked on skype during the intermissions. And I also looked at Vancouver's roster online and read about all of the players so I'll know more about them and like rooting (sp?) for them to win! It's actually really fun for me to watch hockey (when I care about one of the teams) because there's so much action, it's so fast, I'm constantly amazed by the speed and quick movements that these guys can do on iceskates (because I can go very slowly and stiffly about two miles an hour and that's it). So I get to become a hockey fan now because I have a reason - because my Mr. H loves the Canucks, and because I'll be living in Canada!!

Florida just called and we talked for awhile about The Meat and how he's really down and depressed right now and going through a hard few days. He gets depressive episodes now and then and he always tells me that he just has to wait it out and it'll be better on the other side. But knowing that doesn't make it any easier on Florida and I and we feel so helpless by not being able to do anything to help him.

I'll write him a little note (cause he's not in his office right now) and then I'll head home for cleaning!

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Okay it's almost 10 now and I haven't done much. A little, but as usual I procrastinate until nighttime. Mr. H and I already talked on skype and he's gone to bed because he has a terrible cold - yesterday he said he thought he was getting sick and now tonight it was full-blown and he sounded terrible! I hate when someone I love so much is suffering and there's nothing I can do to make it better! And I know the best thing for him is to sleep and if I was there with him I couldn't do anything, but I still wish I was there.

Yesterday morning when I woke up, it was snowing outside. WTF?! Right now I'm running my space heater in my living room because I can't seem to get warm. I'm so ready for spring to get here and oh will I be happy when I can walk outside slowly and just enjoy the beautiful wonderful weather!!!

In other news, two nights ago I decided to try to pop two little bumps on my face because they weren't getting bigger or smaller and I especially don't want them there when I go to Vancouver. The popping didn't exactly work and they were much bigger bumps yesterday, and last night I was trying to squeeze anything and everything out but only liquid was coming out, and after all that the one on my forehead looked like a massive mosquito bite cause it was so swollen all around the whole thing. So I tried pressing a bag of frozen blueberries against it to try to reduce the swelling and also just freeze anything hiding inside there (same with the one on my cheek, and I don't usually get zits on my cheeks (knock on wood)!). Today I covered them with makeup when I went to work and oh they looked terrible and I felt like my forehead had a mini mountain on it! But I've washed them tonight and I'm not touching them or doing anything else and I'm so happy to report that the one on my forehead is looking slightly better. Still red and ugly, but it looks like it's drying out a little and that's a really good thing! I know it's such a stupid thing, but it's really bothersome having such big things on my face!!!

And I'll go get restarted with the cleaning in a second but I just have to say one other thing: I find it so disgusting that so-called leaders like Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton, as well as the media reporting non-stop, have managed to get Don Imus fired. Once again, no, of course I don't like what he said. Yes, it sounded terrible. But come the fuck on already. This whole thing is so wrong and I actually feel sorry for Imus now and hope he can come back stronger than ever on some other radio network, just to stick it to Jackson and Sharpton who have such ridiculously high egos and try to create controversy just so they can try to prove that they're still powerful and necessary. They are all about pressure and essentially blackmail, and I find about 95% of what they say and/or do to be complete crap. Everything about those two is ridiculous and disgusting to me, and I would never want someone like them speaking for me. Oh it gets my blood boiling just thinking about it again.

Okay, I'll go get started now. I'm tired and I'd rather take a nap on the couch, but I'll hopefully get in my cleaning zone soon after I start.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

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Written by Caterpillar :: 4/12/2007 10:07:00 PM :: ::


About Me

Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly :: Anonymous

There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it's going to be a butterfly :: Buckminster Fuller



Name::Caterpillar
From::Chicago, United States

I'm a 30-year-old sometimes girl and sometimes woman living in Chicago. Over the past year I have faced my biggest demon and won, and as a result I have hope again for wonderful and fabulous things to happen! I'm still learning, growing and always trying to improve myself, but I absolutely love life and think I'm very close to becoming a real butterfly!!!
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"I am two women: one wants to have all the joy, passion and adventure that life can give me. The other wants to be a slave to routine, to family life, to the things that can be planned and achieved."

"Desire is an entirely free sensation, loose in the air, vibrating, filling life with the will to have something..."

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Quotes That Touch and Inspire Me

♥ I think that the most beautiful women I've ever met are the ones that know who they are, have stories to tell, ideas to share, wisdom to impart and love the skin they're in. No one can love us as we love ourselves. No one can take away our beauty and our dignity when we own those things. To me confident=beautiful. :: CeeCi

♥ I'd been feeling a little blue (for no particular reason) when I began thinking about things like attention, age and body image. Suddenly, it washed over me. I see people looking at me and I see them reacting. I began thinking about the times I notice the attention and realized its the days I'm strutting, the days I'm open and holding my head up. This got me to thinking further. How I perceive myself is what I show to others...People don't realize it, but they show the world everything about themselves in the way they move and act, in the words they say and the way they say them. A little confidence can lead to a lot of confidence. :: CeeCi

♥ When we believe in ourselves the world is an entirely different place and our place in it feels right and happy and healthy. :: CeeCi

♥ Remember that something incredibly wonderful is always possible!

♥ There are moments that are wonderful, if you let them be.

♥ Being distrustful put me in a very lonely place, a place filled with doubt and hypervigilance. I'm grateful I've learned to trust again, because in learning to do it, I learned to trust myself. :: CeeCi

♥ We're all a work in progress. I believe we will be until the day our lives end. Why fight it? I love the changes I experience. Some are certainly easier and more enjoyable than others, yet I wouldn't stop the process for any thing in the world. :: CeeCi

♥ We may run, walk, stumble, drive, or fly, but let us never lose sight of the reason for the journey, or miss the chance to see a rainbow on the way :: Gloria Gaither

♥ Happiness comes of the capacity to feel deeply, to enjoy simply, to think freely, to risk life, to be needed :: Storm Jameson

♥ Love is everything. It is the reason we are here, and the wonder we take with us wherever we go.

♥ Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow :: Mary Anne Radmacher

♥ Just live in the moment, the moment you're in. Don't live two days from now. Don't live two hours in advance. Live now. And appreciate what you have now. Don't go any further. You have this moment. This second. Breathe it. Enjoy it. Live in it. :: Open Eyes

♥ Leap, and the net will appear.

♥ I've learnt that when we express our deepest feelings, even though we may stammer or be unable to find the right words, it always pays. It pays to be authentic.

♥ There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year's course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness :: Carl Jung

♥ I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge, myth is more potent than history, dreams are more powerful than facts, hope always triumphs over experience, laughter is the cure for grief, love is stronger than death :: Robert Fulghum

♥ You must learn day by day, year by year, to broaden your horizon. The more things you love, the more you are interested in, the more you enjoy, the more you are indignant about, the more you have left when anything happens. :: Ethel Barrymore

♥ Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. :: Carl Jung

♥ I will try to be as honest as I can with myself. That is all that is required of me. I'll keep admitting and opening my hidden box of fears, hurts and insecurities, again and again, until I know each one of them by their first name. :: Anu

♥ It struck me that there is amazing beauty everywhere. Does it matter where you are or who we're encountering? There is magic all around us. The fact that we're alive, the fact that we're living in this place and time. The fact that we've met the people we've met, all of it, every bit of it, only contributes to the wonder that is life. :: CeeCi

♥ No pessimist ever discovered the secrets of the starts, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new heaven to the human spirit. :: Helen Keller

♥ Half of doing anything is believing that you can.

♥ Often God has to shut a door in our face, so that he can subsequently open the door through which he wants us to go. :: Catherine Marshall

♥ Even if it burns a little low at times, the secret of life is to always keep the flame of hope alive.

♥ The three grand essentials of happiness are something to do, someone to love, and something to hope for.

♥ Some people will say that you are going the wrong way, when it is simply a way of your own.

♥ Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. Great dancers are not great because of their technique, they are great because of their passion. :: Martha Graham

♥ Life is a series of new beginnings, and in every ordinary moment there are a thousand miracles to behold.

♥ Don't let the approval of others determine your belief in yourself.

♥ When it's all said and done, when all the opinions have been uttered, preached, shouted, and shared, there is only one thing we can do: From this moment on...love.

♥ When you're stuck in a spiral, to change all aspects of the spin you need only to change one thing. :: Christina Baldwin

♥ You have to look for the joy. Look for the light of God that is hitting your life, and you will find sparkles you didn't know were there.

♥ Be the change you wish to see in the world... :: Gandhi

♥ Life is not about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.

♥ We each have only a limited amount of time here. We have to do more with it - pay attention, explore, be open to all of life. Because we have only one chance, we have to make life seem longer than it really is. :: Viggo Mortensen

♥ Risk more than others think is safe. Care more than others think is wise. Dream more than others think is practical. Expect more than others think is possible. :: Cadet Maxim

♥ Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore! Dream! Discover!

♥ What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail? :: Unknown

♥ To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides. :: David Viscott, M.D

♥ Right now it feels like:...no dream will ever remain unfulfilled...no desire will ever remain unanswered...no tear goes unnoticed and no effort wasted...the hills are alive and so are we...each moment is fresh and waiting to happen...and there will be garbage like situations all around...but it is upto us to light mud lamps in it...and glow in our own acceptance and appreciations... :: Anu

♥ I struggle with not feeling like I'm good enough at times. Usually, its because I'm pushing it too hard and have depleted my reserve. Yet, I know without a shadow of a doubt that no matter how heavy or thin, how young or old I appear to others it's what I feel on the inside that glows through. If I could give every person on this planet just one gift it would be the unwavering knowledge that they are beautiful and worthy of every good thing the universe holds. :: CeeCi

♥ It's easier to buy into the negative things we conjure about ourselves than the positive things. Knowing that is the first step towards changing the thoughts that keep us unhappy. With time moving forward, why stay trapped in the past? All we have is right here and right now, I intend to make the most of it! :: CeeCi