Thursday, June 15, 2006

The opera and my night with The German

I just got home from a meeting and from walking way too far to find an open grocery store. My feet were hurting as I was wearing very cute heels that are comfortable in general but not after walking all day and for 8 more blocks. But I managed to find one and got more cat litter for the babies which they desperately needed! And little Emmalove had poopy butt when I got home so I cut it out and trimmed all her little butt fur while I was at it. She's happy now! And by their food dishes there was another one of those motherfucking centipede things - although I'm not sure exactly what it is, only that it's long and has many legs. It was luckily smaller than the first one, and not moving at all so it was easy for me to kill the awful thing. I didn't get around to calling my landlord back today so tomorrow morning for sure, and along with filling the holes left in my walls, I'll be asking for some kind exterminator to come (and to make sure it won't hurt little James and Emma).

Well, I'm exhausted. I'll report on the general events of last night but not go into it all that much. First, the opera show at Ravinia was fabulously wonderful! Before it started, the composer and conductor came onstage with someone from Ravinia and he interviewed them at a little table. That was really cool! And I liked hearing from the composer how he came up with various things and how his mind works, and why he chose to have a woman play the part of the man about who the opera was written. He also had a fabulous accent!!

So it wasn't a full opera or anything as it was only about an hour and a half long. The music was amazing and he had three guitarists for the flamenco-type music. And he really did so many different and cool things that I can't describe because I don't know any of the opera or music terms. And I loved it! I had chills running down my spine many times, and I was taken away by the music many times, and at the end I actually stood clapping at my full loudness the entire time whereas usually I tend to fake clap because it hurts my hands. I wanted them to know how amazing I thought they were and how much their music and performances touched me!

And by the way, I never even said the name! The opera is called Ainadamar ("Fountain of Tears") and the composer is Osvaldo Golijov. It's about the Spanish poet Federico Garcia Lorca, who was murdered in 1936 at the beginning of the Spanish Civil War. I'm intrigued by him now and want to learn a little more and read some of his poetry. [And by the way, I'm again trying to post a picture here and blogger is doing nothing even though it acts like it's uploading it!]

Anyway, The German also really liked it, even though sometimes during the performance he was trying to sillily distract me and I had to hold his hand tight, give him a sideways "stop it!" glance, and ignore him a little. Yes, he was misbehaving! We took a couple of very cute self portraits while waiting for the Metra to arrive afterward, and he also hugged me tight to him for awhile. And on the train ride back, he had his arm around me and let me close my eyes and rest on his chest. And when the conductor came around, he bought a ticket to my stop.

So he came home with me and he spent the night - yes, he did, and yes, we did. I had a feeling he was going to stay when he walked me in, because of the way he had looked at me sometimes during the evening and also the night before on the boat. And when he looked at me that way, I was actually saying to him in my mind, "do you realize that you love me?" So anyway, he first played with James and Emma because he knows how much I love that, and then he asked me for a towel and took a shower. I got under the covers and closed my eyes while he showered because I was so so so tired, and I was actually kind of hoping that he just wanted to cuddle and would wait to get down to the fun of fucking until the morning - but once he curled behind me and started rubbing his hands over me I quickly was quite okay with some action right then! However, I do think that we need to work on our rhythm together a little, because sometimes it's just not working. But it was still very good!

Afterward and after some cuddling and before I fell asleep I got up to do all the getting ready for bed and cleaning out the litter pan etc. and then went back to bed. He immediately cuddled up to me and I fell asleep for awhile with him spooning behind me. When I woke up suddenly and needed to turn and sleep on my stomach he was a little disappointed and still draped a leg over one of mine and had his top arm over me. In the morning when we woke up, I gave him a morning blow and then got in the shower while he made us coffee, and he was happy that he had twenty minutes to sit on the couch with me and drink our coffee together. And he loved the morning light coming through my front windows, which I just adore, too! And I was thinking that we could be happy living together, provided we had two bedrooms so the extra one could be his "office" where he could play his video games and have his space.

So that's that. We emailed back and forth a few times at work today, because my yahoo messenger still isn't fucking working at work, which just pisses me off! And one of the cool computer guys even came up today and tried to get it to work and wasn't able to find out what was wrong with it. And he even set me up as an "administrator" and it still wasn't working. He also asked me out, which he's done before, but luckily he also asked if I was seeing anyone and I told him that I am right now. He still emailed me pictures of himself later though. And asked me to lunch for tomorrow, which I felt obliged to accept because he was still working on my computer. Oh well.

Okay, I'm starting to shut my eyes while typing now, so that means that it's for sure time for bed! I can't wait to sleep more tomorrow night, and also to have nothing to do tomorrow night. I think I'll sweep under all my furniture to see if I can find any more of the motherfucking gross-ass centipede creatures to viciously kill!!!

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

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Written by Caterpillar :: 6/15/2006 11:21:00 PM :: ::


About Me

Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly :: Anonymous

There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it's going to be a butterfly :: Buckminster Fuller



Name::Caterpillar
From::Chicago, United States

I'm a 30-year-old sometimes girl and sometimes woman living in Chicago. Over the past year I have faced my biggest demon and won, and as a result I have hope again for wonderful and fabulous things to happen! I'm still learning, growing and always trying to improve myself, but I absolutely love life and think I'm very close to becoming a real butterfly!!!
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How I Feel

"I am two women: one wants to have all the joy, passion and adventure that life can give me. The other wants to be a slave to routine, to family life, to the things that can be planned and achieved."

"Desire is an entirely free sensation, loose in the air, vibrating, filling life with the will to have something..."

- Eleven Minutes by Paulo Coelho

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Quotes That Touch and Inspire Me

♥ I think that the most beautiful women I've ever met are the ones that know who they are, have stories to tell, ideas to share, wisdom to impart and love the skin they're in. No one can love us as we love ourselves. No one can take away our beauty and our dignity when we own those things. To me confident=beautiful. :: CeeCi

♥ I'd been feeling a little blue (for no particular reason) when I began thinking about things like attention, age and body image. Suddenly, it washed over me. I see people looking at me and I see them reacting. I began thinking about the times I notice the attention and realized its the days I'm strutting, the days I'm open and holding my head up. This got me to thinking further. How I perceive myself is what I show to others...People don't realize it, but they show the world everything about themselves in the way they move and act, in the words they say and the way they say them. A little confidence can lead to a lot of confidence. :: CeeCi

♥ When we believe in ourselves the world is an entirely different place and our place in it feels right and happy and healthy. :: CeeCi

♥ Remember that something incredibly wonderful is always possible!

♥ There are moments that are wonderful, if you let them be.

♥ Being distrustful put me in a very lonely place, a place filled with doubt and hypervigilance. I'm grateful I've learned to trust again, because in learning to do it, I learned to trust myself. :: CeeCi

♥ We're all a work in progress. I believe we will be until the day our lives end. Why fight it? I love the changes I experience. Some are certainly easier and more enjoyable than others, yet I wouldn't stop the process for any thing in the world. :: CeeCi

♥ We may run, walk, stumble, drive, or fly, but let us never lose sight of the reason for the journey, or miss the chance to see a rainbow on the way :: Gloria Gaither

♥ Happiness comes of the capacity to feel deeply, to enjoy simply, to think freely, to risk life, to be needed :: Storm Jameson

♥ Love is everything. It is the reason we are here, and the wonder we take with us wherever we go.

♥ Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow :: Mary Anne Radmacher

♥ Just live in the moment, the moment you're in. Don't live two days from now. Don't live two hours in advance. Live now. And appreciate what you have now. Don't go any further. You have this moment. This second. Breathe it. Enjoy it. Live in it. :: Open Eyes

♥ Leap, and the net will appear.

♥ I've learnt that when we express our deepest feelings, even though we may stammer or be unable to find the right words, it always pays. It pays to be authentic.

♥ There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year's course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness :: Carl Jung

♥ I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge, myth is more potent than history, dreams are more powerful than facts, hope always triumphs over experience, laughter is the cure for grief, love is stronger than death :: Robert Fulghum

♥ You must learn day by day, year by year, to broaden your horizon. The more things you love, the more you are interested in, the more you enjoy, the more you are indignant about, the more you have left when anything happens. :: Ethel Barrymore

♥ Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. :: Carl Jung

♥ I will try to be as honest as I can with myself. That is all that is required of me. I'll keep admitting and opening my hidden box of fears, hurts and insecurities, again and again, until I know each one of them by their first name. :: Anu

♥ It struck me that there is amazing beauty everywhere. Does it matter where you are or who we're encountering? There is magic all around us. The fact that we're alive, the fact that we're living in this place and time. The fact that we've met the people we've met, all of it, every bit of it, only contributes to the wonder that is life. :: CeeCi

♥ No pessimist ever discovered the secrets of the starts, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new heaven to the human spirit. :: Helen Keller

♥ Half of doing anything is believing that you can.

♥ Often God has to shut a door in our face, so that he can subsequently open the door through which he wants us to go. :: Catherine Marshall

♥ Even if it burns a little low at times, the secret of life is to always keep the flame of hope alive.

♥ The three grand essentials of happiness are something to do, someone to love, and something to hope for.

♥ Some people will say that you are going the wrong way, when it is simply a way of your own.

♥ Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. Great dancers are not great because of their technique, they are great because of their passion. :: Martha Graham

♥ Life is a series of new beginnings, and in every ordinary moment there are a thousand miracles to behold.

♥ Don't let the approval of others determine your belief in yourself.

♥ When it's all said and done, when all the opinions have been uttered, preached, shouted, and shared, there is only one thing we can do: From this moment on...love.

♥ When you're stuck in a spiral, to change all aspects of the spin you need only to change one thing. :: Christina Baldwin

♥ You have to look for the joy. Look for the light of God that is hitting your life, and you will find sparkles you didn't know were there.

♥ Be the change you wish to see in the world... :: Gandhi

♥ Life is not about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.

♥ We each have only a limited amount of time here. We have to do more with it - pay attention, explore, be open to all of life. Because we have only one chance, we have to make life seem longer than it really is. :: Viggo Mortensen

♥ Risk more than others think is safe. Care more than others think is wise. Dream more than others think is practical. Expect more than others think is possible. :: Cadet Maxim

♥ Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore! Dream! Discover!

♥ What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail? :: Unknown

♥ To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides. :: David Viscott, M.D

♥ Right now it feels like:...no dream will ever remain unfulfilled...no desire will ever remain unanswered...no tear goes unnoticed and no effort wasted...the hills are alive and so are we...each moment is fresh and waiting to happen...and there will be garbage like situations all around...but it is upto us to light mud lamps in it...and glow in our own acceptance and appreciations... :: Anu

♥ I struggle with not feeling like I'm good enough at times. Usually, its because I'm pushing it too hard and have depleted my reserve. Yet, I know without a shadow of a doubt that no matter how heavy or thin, how young or old I appear to others it's what I feel on the inside that glows through. If I could give every person on this planet just one gift it would be the unwavering knowledge that they are beautiful and worthy of every good thing the universe holds. :: CeeCi

♥ It's easier to buy into the negative things we conjure about ourselves than the positive things. Knowing that is the first step towards changing the thoughts that keep us unhappy. With time moving forward, why stay trapped in the past? All we have is right here and right now, I intend to make the most of it! :: CeeCi