Apartment-hunting and guys
I'm starting to feel really stressed about finding a new apartment! Last night I spent forever searching online for available apartments and there aren't many in the area where I'm looking. I was hoping for many, many more from which to choose! Fuck! There's one company that has a few nice-looking buildings and they had photo albums online of their apartments - if they let me paint the walls, then I can see these apartments looking really nice and I could make them look so super-cool!
BUT, the big, huge, monstrous downfall is that there's no dishwasher in any of them!!! I can't even keep my kitchen clean WITH a dishwasher, and it's the one thing that I told myself I'd never, ever compromise on. But all of the places in Lincoln Square are older, and I think most of them up there don't have dishwashers. But they're also between $300-$400/month cheaper than what I'm paying now and would be paying if I renewed.
So I'm starting to rethink my dishwasher necessity, for just a year, in order to save money. After all, I've been changing my life in many ways for the better and some of that has been really hard, so I can manage to regularly clean my dishes by hand, right? Maybe? Anyway, I'm going to call this one company tomorrow and see when I can go see the apartments. It will be so completely different if I get one of them, because 1) they have wood floors, 2) they're old, 3) they have old bathrooms, 4) they're in smaller buildings, and 5) they are completely opposite of what I live in now. But like I said, as long as I can paint, I could make many of them into really cool apartments. And then I'll also find out whether I can like living in a vintage apartment or not.
Now onto my Friday night date with The Coach - it went really well!! Seriously, it was fun and pretty comfortable and he was cute and was a really good guy! He came over a little after 9:00 p.m. and I went downstairs to meet him, and I immediately thought he looked much better in person than he did in his pictures. He's very boyishly cute but looked a little older in person, which was a good thing. He didn't seem like he was quite 5'11" though.
One of my flaws is that when I'm called upon to make plans or pick a place to go, every possible idea flees instantly from my mind. So when I knew he was parking by me and we'd go out by me, I couldn't come up with a single idea of where to go or what to do. I told him exactly that when we walked outside after meeting, and he seems to be as easy-going as I am because when I asked him if he was hungry or thirsty or what, he didn't give me a real answer. But he did help out by pointing out the Caribou Coffee and so we decided to go there first and talk and then decide where else to go.
At Caribou, he was good because after we ordered our respective coffees and I pulled out my wallet, he said "put that away" in a rather cute way. And then we talked for a long time there, mostly all about his job and school, but then we got into some other fun talk which I can't remember exactly what it was now, but it was fun and comfortable. When the coffee shop closed down, we walked outside without a plan and started just strolling while talking and inside my head I was thinking madly about where we could go next. The wind started blowing really hard after a couple blocks so I pointed out a little restaurant and he liked the idea.
We stayed there until midnight and talked well the whole time. I ordered a cranberry juice and he ordered a coke, and we shared one of their small gourmet pizzas. We talked about a lot of stuff, including politics and the world and such, and I was happy to find out that he's of the same political persuasion as I am, and he's very interested in politics. And also seems pretty open-minded about things, and very easy-going. We also talked about our families a bit, and he also let me know, in a good way, that he is financially secure, and also thinks of the future. And we also laughed a good amount, which is of course a necessity.
We eventually left and - oh yes, he was a gentleman and opened all doors for me. He walked me to my building and just inside, and then I turned and said "I had really good time tonight!" and he said the same - "I did too, a really good time," and then he leaned in so I did, too, and we hugged and kissed each other on the cheek, and he said he'd call me later this weekend. [It's 10:30 and he hasn't called yet, but I don't worry about it because I know he had a good time, too. Although it is a bit rude to say he was going to call and then not call.]
So anyway, the date was really good! And I was really happy afterward, which is a good sign. He's a very, very good person. Next time I see him I'm going to have to ask him what his flaws are, because I need to see that he's not TOO good. I want a good person deep down and overall, but a little badness as well, otherwise it's too boring. So that's worry #1 - too good. Worry #2 - I didn't see or get any sexual vibe, and I'm a sexual person and need a sexual guy. So I worry that he'd be boring in bed - not that I'll be checking that out anytime soon at all, though. Worry #3 - he's Catholic. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it, and I have many friends who are Catholic, but I can't be due to some basic problems I have with the Catholic faith and bureaucracy, and in my experience, most Catholics wouldn't consider being anything else but that. And I also won't raise my children as Catholics. So I'll have to explore at a later date, if we even get that far, just how strong of a Catholic he is.
Other stuff that happened on Friday - I had a very good lunch with Violet, I met Guy #2 for coffee and discovered that he's been in AA for three years after being an alcoholic for years, previously had panic attacks, and is also sometimes a hypochondriac - so we're way too alike in all the bad ways, and if I had kids with him, they would be completely fucked up. And he still does the really weird thing with his lower lip when he talks, and he talks too loud. I like him and he's a good person, but I know we won't be anything more than friends. And then, before my date with The Coach, I had a quick and hot 45-minute rendezvous with SP here - yes, I know that I'm very bad!
On Saturday, The German came over and because the weather wasn't too good, we didn't go see his boat. Instead we went to breakfast and then walked through every isle of Home Depot looking for stuff he could use on his boat. I also told him about my good date with The Coach and also about my love affair with SP. I have never really told him about any other guys before or if he asked if I was dating anyone, I told him only about the negatives of guys I had gone on dates with. And I never told him about sex with anyone. So this was a big first. And it felt completely and wonderfully comfortable. I also told him that a part of me will always be in love with him - I started crying when I said that and he hugged me and gave me a
kiss. I feel that our friendship has really grown, because I have finally allowed myself to open up about other parts of my life, and it went perfectly. And also showed me that I've moved on, but that our friendship has grown at the same time. So I feel really good right now, also that I can talk to him about everything now!
And today, well today I slept in until 2:30 - I apparently really needed some sleep - and I haven't showered or dressed or put on makeup or brushed my hair. But it's okay, because I deserved a truly lazy day. I also watched Unfaithful and was of course completely aroused by the sex scenes, especially the one in the hallway! :)
Here's one more picture from last weekend in California. It's not perfect, but I keep going back to look at it so there must be something good in it!
BUT, the big, huge, monstrous downfall is that there's no dishwasher in any of them!!! I can't even keep my kitchen clean WITH a dishwasher, and it's the one thing that I told myself I'd never, ever compromise on. But all of the places in Lincoln Square are older, and I think most of them up there don't have dishwashers. But they're also between $300-$400/month cheaper than what I'm paying now and would be paying if I renewed.
So I'm starting to rethink my dishwasher necessity, for just a year, in order to save money. After all, I've been changing my life in many ways for the better and some of that has been really hard, so I can manage to regularly clean my dishes by hand, right? Maybe? Anyway, I'm going to call this one company tomorrow and see when I can go see the apartments. It will be so completely different if I get one of them, because 1) they have wood floors, 2) they're old, 3) they have old bathrooms, 4) they're in smaller buildings, and 5) they are completely opposite of what I live in now. But like I said, as long as I can paint, I could make many of them into really cool apartments. And then I'll also find out whether I can like living in a vintage apartment or not.
Now onto my Friday night date with The Coach - it went really well!! Seriously, it was fun and pretty comfortable and he was cute and was a really good guy! He came over a little after 9:00 p.m. and I went downstairs to meet him, and I immediately thought he looked much better in person than he did in his pictures. He's very boyishly cute but looked a little older in person, which was a good thing. He didn't seem like he was quite 5'11" though.
One of my flaws is that when I'm called upon to make plans or pick a place to go, every possible idea flees instantly from my mind. So when I knew he was parking by me and we'd go out by me, I couldn't come up with a single idea of where to go or what to do. I told him exactly that when we walked outside after meeting, and he seems to be as easy-going as I am because when I asked him if he was hungry or thirsty or what, he didn't give me a real answer. But he did help out by pointing out the Caribou Coffee and so we decided to go there first and talk and then decide where else to go.
At Caribou, he was good because after we ordered our respective coffees and I pulled out my wallet, he said "put that away" in a rather cute way. And then we talked for a long time there, mostly all about his job and school, but then we got into some other fun talk which I can't remember exactly what it was now, but it was fun and comfortable. When the coffee shop closed down, we walked outside without a plan and started just strolling while talking and inside my head I was thinking madly about where we could go next. The wind started blowing really hard after a couple blocks so I pointed out a little restaurant and he liked the idea.
We stayed there until midnight and talked well the whole time. I ordered a cranberry juice and he ordered a coke, and we shared one of their small gourmet pizzas. We talked about a lot of stuff, including politics and the world and such, and I was happy to find out that he's of the same political persuasion as I am, and he's very interested in politics. And also seems pretty open-minded about things, and very easy-going. We also talked about our families a bit, and he also let me know, in a good way, that he is financially secure, and also thinks of the future. And we also laughed a good amount, which is of course a necessity.
We eventually left and - oh yes, he was a gentleman and opened all doors for me. He walked me to my building and just inside, and then I turned and said "I had really good time tonight!" and he said the same - "I did too, a really good time," and then he leaned in so I did, too, and we hugged and kissed each other on the cheek, and he said he'd call me later this weekend. [It's 10:30 and he hasn't called yet, but I don't worry about it because I know he had a good time, too. Although it is a bit rude to say he was going to call and then not call.]
So anyway, the date was really good! And I was really happy afterward, which is a good sign. He's a very, very good person. Next time I see him I'm going to have to ask him what his flaws are, because I need to see that he's not TOO good. I want a good person deep down and overall, but a little badness as well, otherwise it's too boring. So that's worry #1 - too good. Worry #2 - I didn't see or get any sexual vibe, and I'm a sexual person and need a sexual guy. So I worry that he'd be boring in bed - not that I'll be checking that out anytime soon at all, though. Worry #3 - he's Catholic. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it, and I have many friends who are Catholic, but I can't be due to some basic problems I have with the Catholic faith and bureaucracy, and in my experience, most Catholics wouldn't consider being anything else but that. And I also won't raise my children as Catholics. So I'll have to explore at a later date, if we even get that far, just how strong of a Catholic he is.
Other stuff that happened on Friday - I had a very good lunch with Violet, I met Guy #2 for coffee and discovered that he's been in AA for three years after being an alcoholic for years, previously had panic attacks, and is also sometimes a hypochondriac - so we're way too alike in all the bad ways, and if I had kids with him, they would be completely fucked up. And he still does the really weird thing with his lower lip when he talks, and he talks too loud. I like him and he's a good person, but I know we won't be anything more than friends. And then, before my date with The Coach, I had a quick and hot 45-minute rendezvous with SP here - yes, I know that I'm very bad!
On Saturday, The German came over and because the weather wasn't too good, we didn't go see his boat. Instead we went to breakfast and then walked through every isle of Home Depot looking for stuff he could use on his boat. I also told him about my good date with The Coach and also about my love affair with SP. I have never really told him about any other guys before or if he asked if I was dating anyone, I told him only about the negatives of guys I had gone on dates with. And I never told him about sex with anyone. So this was a big first. And it felt completely and wonderfully comfortable. I also told him that a part of me will always be in love with him - I started crying when I said that and he hugged me and gave me a
kiss. I feel that our friendship has really grown, because I have finally allowed myself to open up about other parts of my life, and it went perfectly. And also showed me that I've moved on, but that our friendship has grown at the same time. So I feel really good right now, also that I can talk to him about everything now!And today, well today I slept in until 2:30 - I apparently really needed some sleep - and I haven't showered or dressed or put on makeup or brushed my hair. But it's okay, because I deserved a truly lazy day. I also watched Unfaithful and was of course completely aroused by the sex scenes, especially the one in the hallway! :)
Here's one more picture from last weekend in California. It's not perfect, but I keep going back to look at it so there must be something good in it!
