Wedding weekend recap
1) I really miss cold weather on days like these - when I didn't shower and my hair is looking terribly greasy by the end of the day. I would have loved to put on a hat so at least all the strangers on the street and in the bus didn't see me looking so bedraggled. And why didn't I shower? Because I was sooooooooooo tired and don't even remember turning the first alarm off this morning, and I forgot to change my second alarm back from California time, so it woke me up at 9:00 - and I didn't get to work until just after 10:30. Yes, bad me, bad morning, and I was tired and had a headache all fucking day - I think because I never had any coffee.
2) When I got off the bus tonight, the air was just reeking of the absolute worst fishy smell possible! I don't know if a bunch of fish up and died in the pond or what, but the smell didn't completely disappear until I walked the two blocks to my place. Seriously, it was terrible!!!
3) I WON our NCAA office tournament!!! And yes, I know that the tournament isn't over, but all seventeen of us are out now. But I won!!!! So I get $100!!!! Yay me!!!! Oh, and Florida tied for second, so we kick ass!!!
Okay, now that's done. I got back last night and have been so tired since. And even tired when I was there. I'm watching James and Emma eating catnip off their scratching boards right now - a reward after I trimmed their claws. They're so cute!!!
The weekend in California was wonderful. I absolutely love having our whole family together and spending time with everyone. I so adore my aunts and my uncle and I wish we all lived closer. Of course, my uncle lives in the burbs so I should see him more often, but time just passes by quickly. We made a pact though, that when he and his family get back from Aruba next week, we'll all get together. And the gymnastics season has ended for my little cousins so at least their weekends will be more open.
My cousin's wedding was an indoor wedding - it was pouring rain all day Saturday. And when I say pouring, I real

The result was a half-hour ceremony that included personal stories, advice, humor,


[A little break in the story - I just got a call from SP and it makes me so happy! Only I didn't answer because I didn't know who it was and I didn't feel like talking to anyone else. I almost, almost answered just in case it was him, but didn't. But he left a cute message that has me grinning ear to ear and squealing inside! Happy night! I wish he would call back but I know he won't.]
This was my first big event-type thing since not drinking. I did well, meaning that I wasn't even tempted. However, it was kind of hard sometimes watching everyone else drink and get drunk and have a wild time, because I wasn't having a wild time and didn't have the freeing feeling of being drunk. During dinner at the reception, everyone was passing around and refilling the bottle of wine and frequently talking about drinking. So I definitely felt out of it and not part of the fun.
But the worst part was that I was reverting to my sometimes shyness. And I was so pissed at myself for being shy. But I didn't feel comfortable. Even at the dinner table, everyone we were sitting with was so nice, and they were fun and friendly. And I talked with them and all, but it wasn't natural for me, and I didn't feel like myself at all, and wasn't outgoing and talkative as I like to be. It kept getting worse and I kept feeling continually self-conscious and not myself. It was pretty awful. I was so disgusted with myself.
So for the rest of the night I just hung out with my family, and I even escaped upstairs to my room at one point. After I went back downstairs, I watched everyone dancing and thought how fun it would be to dance, and told myself to go dance with Trena, but a part of me wouldn't let myself. After awhile I felt like I was a burden to my aunt and uncle because I was just hanging around them, and my brother and TSIL had disappeared so I headed upstairs, where I found them in bed (we had connecting rooms, sharing a bathroom). At least I didn't feel like such a loser leaving the party at 11:00 because they had left it a little earlier.
So there's my crybaby story! I still had a wonderful time

On Sunday I was able to take some pictures outside, very quickly, before we had to leave to take my brother and TSIL to the airport. I also tried to take some pictures of the hills as we drove down the mountain. My favorite thing though was just across the street from the lodge. There's a store (that my cousin has never actually seen open - but I see on the door that it's only open on Tuesdays and Wednesdays from 1-5) called Guns 'n' Lace! It sells, yes, guns and ammo and all that, and also lingerie. Because of course, they go together very well. :)
Oh - and that reminds me! The history of the lodge! It used to be a brothel back during the gold rush and who knows


So anyway, on Sunday my parents and I went to my Aunt M's house, and my Aunt J and cousin D were also there. She just sold her house in February and moved into the cutest little rental house in Vallejo - and it overlooks the bay!! She really has the most beautiful view, and it was so peaceful sitting out on her porch and overlooking the water and the hills in the far distance. And it was warm, too! Especially in the sunshine! It made me so incredibly excited for spring to come!! Here's a picture of her view:
After awhile of talking and eating, everyone decided to take little rests and I got a chance to talk with my Aunt M. She's so amazing and so wise, and I cherish every moment that I get to spend with her. I can't think of the words to explain it right now, but she has such a lasting effect on me, and I look to her for guidance in many ways. I can remember things that she told me years ago. She also takes such an interest in family and in those around her. And she often tells me tales about my father as a child, and about their parents.
This time we talked about my decision to stop drinking, and about all the major changes in her life recently. And we talked about looking for answers from God, and about her view of God, because she knows I'm sometimes struggling to find what I believe. We also talked about astrology, and about life changes and life cycles. It was all very interesting and I'm so glad we had the time to really talk. (The picture has nothing to do with this, but I just love the rolling hills of California so I had to include a picture!)
Later we all went to Nick and Trena's house in Benicia, where we got the tour of their new house and got to meet their dog Oscar (who was a fabulous dog, but I'm not used to boy dogs so his balls were quite disturbing and impossible to not look at - as you can see). We stayed for some pizza dinner and watched them open a few wedding gifts, and then my parents and I drove back to Sacramento (I slept most of the way) so they could drop me off for my flight on Monday morning.
So that was my weekend, or at least the general summary of it. I loved seeing the obvious love between Nick and Trena, and how affectionate they both are with each other, which includes some sweet handholding when they are just sitting next to each other. I love affection and definitely want someone who isn't uncomfortable giving a lot of it. (Even as I'm typing here, Oscar's balls are distracting me!)My apartment is, as usual, a disaster. It needs a serious cleaning, or at least a serious throwing away of trash and putting away of numerous items. But now it's too late and I'm so tired and need to go to bed so I can wake up on time tomorrow morning. And I need to be there early.
Tomorrow I'll write about The German and his new boat! Oh and just one more picture from the little town of Forest Hill - isn't this the funniest thing! Independent Order of Odd Fellows - WTF?! And it's "World Wide"!? Maybe I'm missing something?
