A date and bad me sleeping
I just got back from my date with The Coach, and I had a very good time! He picked me up at the train and then drove me all over the area, showing me huge homes, Victorian homes, old mobster houses, houses by a famous architect, parks, schools, all kinds of things. He also drove me by his childhood home, in which his parents and grandmother still live, and also past his current home. Then we went to a little seafood restaurant and had appetizers and chatted. A fellow coach of his who is also one of his best friends happened to be there with his girlfriend, so I briefly met them. And after all that, he drove me home and walked me in. It was a fun date!
I have a couple of concerns right now, but I'm going to definitely wait and see. First, we still aren't always talking great. And he talks a lot about his job. Not that I'm not interested, because I usually find most things interesting, but I just notice that we aren't yet having really stimulating discussions. But I also think that he gets nervous sometimes, or even often, so our lack of perfect talking may have something to do with that. But that leads me to my second concern, which is a worry that he might be either kind of inexperienced with relationships or else just a guy's guy. Don't get me wrong - he's very sweet, and opens doors for me, and is a perfect gentleman, but I think I'd have to work on him as to how to be a good boyfriend - if I end up dating him, that is. And I usually like guys who are experienced in life and who I can learn from, and not have to teach. Oh and third, I'd like him to be a little more decisive. I don't know if it's because he's trying to be a good date and make a good impression, but he lets me choose how hungry I am, where we should sit, if we should get all our food at once, etc. I don't like doing all that. I like a guy to take control and make the decisions.
But he is very cute, he's very nice, and he has a lot of really good qualities, so I'll just have to wait and see as to my concerns. I still had a really good time tonight!!
I took the day off today. It was bad of me, yes. And I really haven't taken a day off to sleep since I stopped drinking, at least I don't think I have. Anyway, it's been a long time since I've taken a day off just because I've been really really tired. But I did today. Last night I fell asleep on the couch directly after posting and cuddling again with James (about 9:30 p.m.), and although James woke me up numerous times throughout the night and morning to cuddle, I never managed to wake up enough to move from the couch to my bed, or to wash my face. And even in the morning, my mom had to call twice before I even heard it, and then I managed to talk with her while knowing full well that I was going to lay my head down the second I hung up, and my eyes were even slowly closing all while talking to her. When The German called, I was asleep but had the phone by my head, and I told him I was going to take a half day off. But I didn't manage to really wake up and sit up until 11:30, so instead I had to take the full day off.
But by the end of the afternoon, I felt like a real loser. I was craving human contact, and feeling so bad about myself for being so tired and not waking up to go to work. So anyway though - I'm really looking forward to going to work tomorrow!!! I miss everyone when I'm not there, and also tomorrow morning I'll feel like I'm doing the walk of shame, because everyone will tease me about taking a day off because I was too tired to go to work!
So that's all that's happened in the past day - I slept forever and I had a good date.
I've also felt a little off for the past few days. There are tons of things, thoughts or feelings floating around in my mind, but none are really solid so that I can grasp onto them. And there are just little pieces floating around here and there, so I don't even know what they are, just that there are a bunch of things in there. So instead I'm left feeling somewhat discombobulated (sp?), and also without a lot to write about since I can't whittle the stuff in my head to tangible thoughts in order to even know what I'm thinking. It's really frustrating me.
So hopefully this thing, whatever it is, will pass, and I'll soon have my normal brain back again. And then I'll be able to organize all my thoughts a little right here again!
I have a couple of concerns right now, but I'm going to definitely wait and see. First, we still aren't always talking great. And he talks a lot about his job. Not that I'm not interested, because I usually find most things interesting, but I just notice that we aren't yet having really stimulating discussions. But I also think that he gets nervous sometimes, or even often, so our lack of perfect talking may have something to do with that. But that leads me to my second concern, which is a worry that he might be either kind of inexperienced with relationships or else just a guy's guy. Don't get me wrong - he's very sweet, and opens doors for me, and is a perfect gentleman, but I think I'd have to work on him as to how to be a good boyfriend - if I end up dating him, that is. And I usually like guys who are experienced in life and who I can learn from, and not have to teach. Oh and third, I'd like him to be a little more decisive. I don't know if it's because he's trying to be a good date and make a good impression, but he lets me choose how hungry I am, where we should sit, if we should get all our food at once, etc. I don't like doing all that. I like a guy to take control and make the decisions.
But he is very cute, he's very nice, and he has a lot of really good qualities, so I'll just have to wait and see as to my concerns. I still had a really good time tonight!!
I took the day off today. It was bad of me, yes. And I really haven't taken a day off to sleep since I stopped drinking, at least I don't think I have. Anyway, it's been a long time since I've taken a day off just because I've been really really tired. But I did today. Last night I fell asleep on the couch directly after posting and cuddling again with James (about 9:30 p.m.), and although James woke me up numerous times throughout the night and morning to cuddle, I never managed to wake up enough to move from the couch to my bed, or to wash my face. And even in the morning, my mom had to call twice before I even heard it, and then I managed to talk with her while knowing full well that I was going to lay my head down the second I hung up, and my eyes were even slowly closing all while talking to her. When The German called, I was asleep but had the phone by my head, and I told him I was going to take a half day off. But I didn't manage to really wake up and sit up until 11:30, so instead I had to take the full day off.
But by the end of the afternoon, I felt like a real loser. I was craving human contact, and feeling so bad about myself for being so tired and not waking up to go to work. So anyway though - I'm really looking forward to going to work tomorrow!!! I miss everyone when I'm not there, and also tomorrow morning I'll feel like I'm doing the walk of shame, because everyone will tease me about taking a day off because I was too tired to go to work!
So that's all that's happened in the past day - I slept forever and I had a good date.
I've also felt a little off for the past few days. There are tons of things, thoughts or feelings floating around in my mind, but none are really solid so that I can grasp onto them. And there are just little pieces floating around here and there, so I don't even know what they are, just that there are a bunch of things in there. So instead I'm left feeling somewhat discombobulated (sp?), and also without a lot to write about since I can't whittle the stuff in my head to tangible thoughts in order to even know what I'm thinking. It's really frustrating me.
So hopefully this thing, whatever it is, will pass, and I'll soon have my normal brain back again. And then I'll be able to organize all my thoughts a little right here again!
