Just to thank the people who read this!! Thank you!!!!!
I am going to try to find how I can set up that anyone can email me, so that I can hopefully hear from people. Stay tuned...
:)

Written by Caterpillar :: 8/30/2005 10:49:00 PM
Written by Caterpillar :: 8/30/2005 09:13:00 PM
Hmmm, okay there's my little meditation on the beauty of nature!
Here is now a fun little part of my instant messaging with The German today:
...The German: I'm becoming a collector [of porn, which is so true] and the world will flock to me for access to my library
Caterpillar: haha!
Caterpillar: you'll have all things Rocco
The German: That and more
Caterpillar: well, you are my supplier certainly!
The German: Indeed. You should get your silly computer fixed because I have many more CDs
The German: But I'm also going to get started with copying the VHS tapes and then pass them on to you.
Caterpillar: that's always good. My computer is working well for the moment, and has been for the past week! Maybe I'll put in the German porn tonight!
The German: Oh, ok. Very good. Tell me how it works. I have at least 50 CDs for you
Caterpillar: Mmmmmm!
The German: Learn some German dirty talk. Nasty = Verdorben
Caterpillar: I like it! Verdorben!
Caterpillar: I'm writing it down now
The German: your teacher will be impressed
The German: verdorbene Hure - nasty whore
The German: [big smile]
Caterpillar: I like that, too!! I want to be called that during verdorben sex!
The German: Haha! Tell the [bosses]
Caterpillar: no no no!
The German: OK, on your birthday, or when we make the babies if I'm hired as a donor
Caterpillar: okay!!!
The German: [silly face]
The German: If you like it you'll conceive easier
The German: we'll discuss this later, silly tigress
The German: [kissy face]
The German: [kissy face]
The End. Hmmm, he seems to have it in his mind about helping me get pregnant. When he says things like that it makes me feel close to him. And that he might be starting to like the idea of giving me children therefore having his own children in the world therefore being a normal person might not be so bad and therefore maybe he'd like being married and being a dad! Do ya see how my twisted logic gets started!!! That was all just a joke, at least the last two parts of the last sentence. I just have to remember that in the last IM conversation, he said he'd gladly help by being a donor, but not "help raise the brats" because he "will be far away" - his plan is to buy a sailboat eventually and just sail around by himself. Must remember all that!!!!
I got Mystic Tanned tonight! At least while it's still summer, I feel so much better being a little tan!! I meant to fully clean my place tonight. To do the massive piles of laundry that are threatening to collapse at any moment and trap me in my bedroom. To vaccuum up the enormous amount of baby kitten hair that's settled into every spare space in my apartment and that floats around whenever I sit down or move. I did manage to clean my kitchen and, so hard, put all the dishes in the dishwasher. Yay me! The rest I'll do tomorrow. Yes, tomorrow, first thing after work! And once my place is clean, I can then call the maintenance guy to replace the couple light bulbs that are out - including the one over my dining room table.
The last time I mentioned going back on Match, I was pissy and pms-y. However, I'm considering it again now. Because, even though I like Warsteiner, I just don't think he's The One. Which means that I don't have any possible prospect for being The One. Hmmm. I think I will! I'll want to rewrite the profile and change some of the pictures from when I was last on a long time ago, but I think I'll go start working on it right now!! I'm also thinking about going to either a single's margarita speed dating event or a single's bartending lesson. Certain people will know how I heard about them. I'm not sure which one would be better/and/or more fun. Anyway, with Match, before it was such work. But I've decided that for now I won't sit around and spend hours looking at all the various guys. I'll just see who emails me, check them out, and if I'm interested, then I'll email them. I'm not going to make a huge deal out of it. But who knows, maybe I will meet some cool people, and maybe I'll meet someone who I'll love. I guess we'll see!!!
Written by Caterpillar :: 8/29/2005 09:38:00 PM
Written by Caterpillar :: 8/29/2005 05:00:00 PM
Written by Caterpillar :: 8/27/2005 12:30:00 PM
Written by Caterpillar :: 8/26/2005 10:16:00 PM
Written by Caterpillar :: 8/26/2005 11:53:00 AM
Written by Caterpillar :: 8/25/2005 10:12:00 PM
Written by Caterpillar :: 8/24/2005 10:01:00 PM
Written by Caterpillar :: 8/23/2005 02:44:00 PM
Written by Caterpillar :: 8/23/2005 12:21:00 AM
Written by Caterpillar :: 8/22/2005 10:58:00 PM
Written by Caterpillar :: 8/22/2005 10:40:00 PM
Written by Caterpillar :: 8/22/2005 09:55:00 PM
Written by Caterpillar :: 8/22/2005 11:28:00 AM
Written by Caterpillar :: 8/22/2005 10:22:00 AM
The Bold One, her new guy, and I watched the White Sox unfortunately lose to the Yankees. I love baseball games!! I had a bit of trouble finding someone to take my extra ticket, so after about 5 people said they couldn't go, I emailed Wiggles and he jumped at the chance. We met at my work at 5:15 and headed down there. We met The Bold One and her guy, and then hung out at The Patio until about 7:30 when it closed and they kicked us out - I got some really good closeups of a Yankee pitcher practicing, since we were right by the field! And, free and unlimited food and beer!
After that we went to our seats, and the whole game was just so much fun! I love all the people who are around us - the guys who The Bold One knows and who are just wonderful. After the game, they turned off all the lights and had a wonderful fireworks display! My camera ran out of room just then, so no pictures of the fireworks unfortunately :( Wiggles and I then went up to The Stadium Club with my new south side friends, and after that they drove us to a fun south side bar!! Wiggles at some point decided he was too drunk or tired or something, so he left in a cab. He's in love with the south side now, he kept exclaiming about it! He was pretty funny! Two of the guys thankfully drove me home a little later, so I didn't have to spend a ton of money on a cab. And I wasn't in good condition to be taking the L home by myself.
French Mix and I texted each other a few times last night! And he called at 4 am and left a message (I was sleeping soundly). So I'm happy! He was at the game last night, too! At least I think he was, if he wasn't kidding. He said he'd call me again this weekend sometime. I hope I get to see him very soon!!!
This weekend is the Air & Water Show - tomorrow I'm going to be kayaking with Violet, Firecracker and others, so we'll have great views! Today, however, I just watched some of it from my balcony. Actually I just watched the Blue Angels. They're the most exciting. Lake Michigan was littered, literally, with boats:
To bed I now go. I stayed up way too late watching a very stupid movie.
Written by Caterpillar :: 8/21/2005 01:14:00 AM
Written by Caterpillar :: 8/20/2005 11:44:00 AM
Written by Caterpillar :: 8/19/2005 08:17:00 AM
Written by Caterpillar :: 8/19/2005 12:36:00 AM
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly :: Anonymous
There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it's going to be a butterfly :: Buckminster Fuller
Name::Caterpillar
From::Chicago, United States
I'm a 30-year-old sometimes girl and sometimes woman living in Chicago. Over the past year I have faced my biggest demon and won, and as a result I have hope again for wonderful and fabulous things to happen! I'm still learning, growing and always trying to improve myself, but I absolutely love life and think I'm very close to becoming a real butterfly!!!
View my complete profile
"I am two women: one wants to have all the joy, passion and adventure that life can give me. The other wants to be a slave to routine, to family life, to the things that can be planned and achieved."
"Desire is an entirely free sensation, loose in the air, vibrating, filling life with the will to have something..."
- Eleven Minutes by Paulo Coelho
♥ I think that the most beautiful women I've ever met are the ones that know who they are, have stories to tell, ideas to share, wisdom to impart and love the skin they're in. No one can love us as we love ourselves. No one can take away our beauty and our dignity when we own those things. To me confident=beautiful. :: CeeCi
♥ I'd been feeling a little blue (for no particular reason) when I began thinking about things like attention, age and body image. Suddenly, it washed over me. I see people looking at me and I see them reacting. I began thinking about the times I notice the attention and realized its the days I'm strutting, the days I'm open and holding my head up. This got me to thinking further. How I perceive myself is what I show to others...People don't realize it, but they show the world everything about themselves in the way they move and act, in the words they say and the way they say them. A little confidence can lead to a lot of confidence. :: CeeCi
♥ When we believe in ourselves the world is an entirely different place and our place in it feels right and happy and healthy. :: CeeCi
♥ Remember that something incredibly wonderful is always possible!
♥ There are moments that are wonderful, if you let them be.
♥ Being distrustful put me in a very lonely place, a place filled with doubt and hypervigilance. I'm grateful I've learned to trust again, because in learning to do it, I learned to trust myself. :: CeeCi
♥ We're all a work in progress. I believe we will be until the day our lives end. Why fight it? I love the changes I experience. Some are certainly easier and more enjoyable than others, yet I wouldn't stop the process for any thing in the world. :: CeeCi
♥ We may run, walk, stumble, drive, or fly, but let us never lose sight of the reason for the journey, or miss the chance to see a rainbow on the way :: Gloria Gaither
♥ Happiness comes of the capacity to feel deeply, to enjoy simply, to think freely, to risk life, to be needed :: Storm Jameson
♥ Love is everything. It is the reason we are here, and the wonder we take with us wherever we go.
♥ Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow :: Mary Anne Radmacher
♥ Just live in the moment, the moment you're in. Don't live two days from now. Don't live two hours in advance. Live now. And appreciate what you have now. Don't go any further. You have this moment. This second. Breathe it. Enjoy it. Live in it. :: Open Eyes
♥ Leap, and the net will appear.
♥ I've learnt that when we express our deepest feelings, even though we may stammer or be unable to find the right words, it always pays. It pays to be authentic.
♥ There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year's course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness :: Carl Jung
♥ I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge, myth is more potent than history, dreams are more powerful than facts, hope always triumphs over experience, laughter is the cure for grief, love is stronger than death :: Robert Fulghum
♥ You must learn day by day, year by year, to broaden your horizon. The more things you love, the more you are interested in, the more you enjoy, the more you are indignant about, the more you have left when anything happens. :: Ethel Barrymore
♥ Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. :: Carl Jung
♥ I will try to be as honest as I can with myself. That is all that is required of me. I'll keep admitting and opening my hidden box of fears, hurts and insecurities, again and again, until I know each one of them by their first name. :: Anu
♥ It struck me that there is amazing beauty everywhere. Does it matter where you are or who we're encountering? There is magic all around us. The fact that we're alive, the fact that we're living in this place and time. The fact that we've met the people we've met, all of it, every bit of it, only contributes to the wonder that is life. :: CeeCi
♥ No pessimist ever discovered the secrets of the starts, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new heaven to the human spirit. :: Helen Keller
♥ Half of doing anything is believing that you can.
♥ Often God has to shut a door in our face, so that he can subsequently open the door through which he wants us to go. :: Catherine Marshall
♥ Even if it burns a little low at times, the secret of life is to always keep the flame of hope alive.
♥ The three grand essentials of happiness are something to do, someone to love, and something to hope for.
♥ Some people will say that you are going the wrong way, when it is simply a way of your own.
♥ Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. Great dancers are not great because of their technique, they are great because of their passion. :: Martha Graham
♥ Life is a series of new beginnings, and in every ordinary moment there are a thousand miracles to behold.
♥ Don't let the approval of others determine your belief in yourself.
♥ When it's all said and done, when all the opinions have been uttered, preached, shouted, and shared, there is only one thing we can do: From this moment on...love.
♥ When you're stuck in a spiral, to change all aspects of the spin you need only to change one thing. :: Christina Baldwin
♥ You have to look for the joy. Look for the light of God that is hitting your life, and you will find sparkles you didn't know were there.
♥ Be the change you wish to see in the world... :: Gandhi
♥ Life is not about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.
♥ We each have only a limited amount of time here. We have to do more with it - pay attention, explore, be open to all of life. Because we have only one chance, we have to make life seem longer than it really is. :: Viggo Mortensen
♥ Risk more than others think is safe. Care more than others think is wise. Dream more than others think is practical. Expect more than others think is possible. :: Cadet Maxim
♥ Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore! Dream! Discover!
♥ What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail? :: Unknown
♥ To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides. :: David Viscott, M.D
♥ Right now it feels like:...no dream will ever remain unfulfilled...no desire will ever remain unanswered...no tear goes unnoticed and no effort wasted...the hills are alive and so are we...each moment is fresh and waiting to happen...and there will be garbage like situations all around...but it is upto us to light mud lamps in it...and glow in our own acceptance and appreciations... :: Anu
♥ I struggle with not feeling like I'm good enough at times. Usually, its because I'm pushing it too hard and have depleted my reserve. Yet, I know without a shadow of a doubt that no matter how heavy or thin, how young or old I appear to others it's what I feel on the inside that glows through. If I could give every person on this planet just one gift it would be the unwavering knowledge that they are beautiful and worthy of every good thing the universe holds. :: CeeCi
♥ It's easier to buy into the negative things we conjure about ourselves than the positive things. Knowing that is the first step towards changing the thoughts that keep us unhappy. With time moving forward, why stay trapped in the past? All we have is right here and right now, I intend to make the most of it! :: CeeCi