I'm a girl, I write too much. And also there are serious issues of fact!
Today was good because it was busy, at work I mean. And then because The Bold One called me. I was happy to hear from her, cause I'd been missing her. However, I also felt so bad because I hadn't called her and had waited until she called me, even though I had thought of it so often. Even this morning on the bus I was thinking that I couldn't call her at home, cause that would be a pussy move. And I couldn't call her from my work, cause she usually doesn't recognize the number and what if she didn't want to talk to me? So I decided that I could only call her on her cell from my cell. She called me first. I didn't even realize how much I missed her until I heard her voice. Of course, yesterday when I was walking down the street, I thought of her. And the day before. She's never been far from my thoughts. I'm just a scared little pussy-shit and never stepped up to the ball to call her and address the issues. Instead I just hid from it in one way or another.
I went to see The Bold One at 7 tonight for a little while. It was so nice! And her new furniture and decorations look fabulous.
I was supposed to see Warsteiner tonight. He called me at work around 4:30 but I was on with The Bold One so I called him back afterward. I told him I was going to The Bold One's for a bit at 7 pm, and he said he and There's Something About Mary and I think one other friend were going to the bar of a guy who lives in his building. And he invited me and of course I said yes. I said I'd call him on my way to The Bold One's. So I did, and talked to him just before 7 pm. We chatted and he told me to call him when I was leaving, and we agreed that if it was early enough, I'd just go to his place first. I got home at 8 and called him directly, and got voicemail. Then I called MWFB to see if he could go the White Sox-Yankees game with me tomorrow, since Warsteiner can't go and I have an extra ticket that was for him, and also another ticket that's available. MWFB called back and he can't come. I knew he'd love it and also I'd have such fun with him. I then called Florida Girl to see if she and Mr. Asparagus could go. I called their home phone and no answer, so I called her cell and left her a message. I called Warsteiner back a little after 8:30 to ask if he was at the bar and whether I should meet him there, or what was going on. It's 11:23 and I haven't heard back from him. Again, for no apparent reason. No indication earlier that anything was wrong. Whatever. He's not worth it for this kind of behavior. Of course I always first worry that he saw this blog, but how could he? So I'm not even going to stress.
I'm just waiting now to hear from Florida Girl about the game. Otherwise I have to find others who want to go. FireCracker? Violet? Do either of you want to go? Cause if I hear from Florida girl that they aren't going to come, then what about it? It's tomorrow! And a Friday night game. And from 5-7 it's all you can eat and drink at The Patio! Firecracker and Violet, I'll be calling you tomorrow if Florida Girl and Mr. Asparagus can't come - which I haven't heard either way?
I also called French Mix! At about 9:00 tonight. I got voicemail, thank God, but I ended up sounding stupid I think - "Hi French Mix, it's Caterpillar - Little Brother's sister in case you don't remember (my brother calls me a nickname so I didn't know whether he'd recognize it as me.) I was wondering whether you'd like to get together sometime, or go out for drinks. Although I promise not to drink 50 beers like I did at my brother's wedding...." I am such a dork. I should have written out the stupid thing! Anyway, about five minutes ago I got a reply from him, a text message: "At the strip clubs in Denver. Cheers!"
So, I need to respond to that. I'm such a girl, a fucking girl! I say I only want him for a good fuck, but at the same time, I'd really like him to like me. And if he doesn't, then I'll start feeling used even though I'm sort of intending to use him as well. But my stupid romantic mind goes back to the romance novels of old that I used to read, and it would always be some player guy (in Old England or Scotland, of course) who was so hot and yet he was just so intrigued with the heroine that no other girl mattered or could match up. Yes, I have my issues, but damn, I think those romance novels had an effect on my whole outlook! So even though I may be using him, I want him to fall madly in love with me. I don't want to be just another girl to him. Yes, insane. Especially since I just copied his text. And I am so not cool with strip clubs. I'm very jealous! For any future boyfriend or husband out there to know!
So. I need to respond with some fun and cool text message I think. But what? Oh my gosh, I'm having writer's block, partially because I can only say so much. If I could write him an email, I think it would be easier. Then it would just all come out. But with text messages, I have to seriously pick and choose, and not be wordy or explain things, which, hello!, I like to do! BUT, he responded to me!!!! That's right, I just realized that! He didn't ignore me or wait 4 more days to call me.
Okay, here is my dorkness. I wish I had the wit of Dater of All, Mistress of None. Sometimes I'm great with the suggestive emails and IMs. Today, not so much with the text messaging. Which took me about a half hour to type, in two separate messages: "Another bachelor or just fun? I already had my fun tonight! Tomorrow I'm going to sox-yankees & we have an extra ticket or two - let me know soon if you'll be here & want to go - cont...(next message) And, I will also gladly strip & dance before I'll maybe let you fuck me. If you inspire me, that is!"
Oh my gosh, I've even had four beers here at home and even with them I think I just look so dorky and pathetic and needy and desperate in my little messages. Oh well. It's me. I just want him for a fuck anyway. So who cares if he has to wait until later to see my coolness! Even despite my bit of dorkiness, he will want to see me. Although, I just glanced down at my arm while I was typing and it's just huge. Here's today's The Fat Project results:
Thursday, August 18
Food:
Medium espresso cafe latte from Caribou
Lemon yogurt for late lunch
Lemon yogurt for just after late lunch
1 English muffin w/ butter
Alcohol:
6 Leffe Belgian beers
Exercise:
None
Once I get excited about some random hot guy, I suddenly don't want to be in a serious relationship. Of course, when I'm really in a relationship with the guy who I'm meant to be with, I want us to act like it's the random hot guy every once in awhile - and that it's a nasty, dirty hookup! But right now, I'm happy that I'm not in a relationship. Cause I kind of want to play right now!
Update - French Mix replied to my text messages with two of his own: 1) "Speechless", and 2) "Tell me what ur doing 2 ur self right now". He's not a player. Not at all. :) But I don't care, cause he fucks like a porn star!
I went to see The Bold One at 7 tonight for a little while. It was so nice! And her new furniture and decorations look fabulous.
I was supposed to see Warsteiner tonight. He called me at work around 4:30 but I was on with The Bold One so I called him back afterward. I told him I was going to The Bold One's for a bit at 7 pm, and he said he and There's Something About Mary and I think one other friend were going to the bar of a guy who lives in his building. And he invited me and of course I said yes. I said I'd call him on my way to The Bold One's. So I did, and talked to him just before 7 pm. We chatted and he told me to call him when I was leaving, and we agreed that if it was early enough, I'd just go to his place first. I got home at 8 and called him directly, and got voicemail. Then I called MWFB to see if he could go the White Sox-Yankees game with me tomorrow, since Warsteiner can't go and I have an extra ticket that was for him, and also another ticket that's available. MWFB called back and he can't come. I knew he'd love it and also I'd have such fun with him. I then called Florida Girl to see if she and Mr. Asparagus could go. I called their home phone and no answer, so I called her cell and left her a message. I called Warsteiner back a little after 8:30 to ask if he was at the bar and whether I should meet him there, or what was going on. It's 11:23 and I haven't heard back from him. Again, for no apparent reason. No indication earlier that anything was wrong. Whatever. He's not worth it for this kind of behavior. Of course I always first worry that he saw this blog, but how could he? So I'm not even going to stress.
I'm just waiting now to hear from Florida Girl about the game. Otherwise I have to find others who want to go. FireCracker? Violet? Do either of you want to go? Cause if I hear from Florida girl that they aren't going to come, then what about it? It's tomorrow! And a Friday night game. And from 5-7 it's all you can eat and drink at The Patio! Firecracker and Violet, I'll be calling you tomorrow if Florida Girl and Mr. Asparagus can't come - which I haven't heard either way?
I also called French Mix! At about 9:00 tonight. I got voicemail, thank God, but I ended up sounding stupid I think - "Hi French Mix, it's Caterpillar - Little Brother's sister in case you don't remember (my brother calls me a nickname so I didn't know whether he'd recognize it as me.) I was wondering whether you'd like to get together sometime, or go out for drinks. Although I promise not to drink 50 beers like I did at my brother's wedding...." I am such a dork. I should have written out the stupid thing! Anyway, about five minutes ago I got a reply from him, a text message: "At the strip clubs in Denver. Cheers!"
So, I need to respond to that. I'm such a girl, a fucking girl! I say I only want him for a good fuck, but at the same time, I'd really like him to like me. And if he doesn't, then I'll start feeling used even though I'm sort of intending to use him as well. But my stupid romantic mind goes back to the romance novels of old that I used to read, and it would always be some player guy (in Old England or Scotland, of course) who was so hot and yet he was just so intrigued with the heroine that no other girl mattered or could match up. Yes, I have my issues, but damn, I think those romance novels had an effect on my whole outlook! So even though I may be using him, I want him to fall madly in love with me. I don't want to be just another girl to him. Yes, insane. Especially since I just copied his text. And I am so not cool with strip clubs. I'm very jealous! For any future boyfriend or husband out there to know!
So. I need to respond with some fun and cool text message I think. But what? Oh my gosh, I'm having writer's block, partially because I can only say so much. If I could write him an email, I think it would be easier. Then it would just all come out. But with text messages, I have to seriously pick and choose, and not be wordy or explain things, which, hello!, I like to do! BUT, he responded to me!!!! That's right, I just realized that! He didn't ignore me or wait 4 more days to call me.
Okay, here is my dorkness. I wish I had the wit of Dater of All, Mistress of None. Sometimes I'm great with the suggestive emails and IMs. Today, not so much with the text messaging. Which took me about a half hour to type, in two separate messages: "Another bachelor or just fun? I already had my fun tonight! Tomorrow I'm going to sox-yankees & we have an extra ticket or two - let me know soon if you'll be here & want to go - cont...(next message) And, I will also gladly strip & dance before I'll maybe let you fuck me. If you inspire me, that is!"
Oh my gosh, I've even had four beers here at home and even with them I think I just look so dorky and pathetic and needy and desperate in my little messages. Oh well. It's me. I just want him for a fuck anyway. So who cares if he has to wait until later to see my coolness! Even despite my bit of dorkiness, he will want to see me. Although, I just glanced down at my arm while I was typing and it's just huge. Here's today's The Fat Project results:
Thursday, August 18
Food:
Medium espresso cafe latte from Caribou
Lemon yogurt for late lunch
Lemon yogurt for just after late lunch
1 English muffin w/ butter
Alcohol:
6 Leffe Belgian beers
Exercise:
None
Once I get excited about some random hot guy, I suddenly don't want to be in a serious relationship. Of course, when I'm really in a relationship with the guy who I'm meant to be with, I want us to act like it's the random hot guy every once in awhile - and that it's a nasty, dirty hookup! But right now, I'm happy that I'm not in a relationship. Cause I kind of want to play right now!
Update - French Mix replied to my text messages with two of his own: 1) "Speechless", and 2) "Tell me what ur doing 2 ur self right now". He's not a player. Not at all. :) But I don't care, cause he fucks like a porn star!
