6 months ago I was drunk, but not since then

Yes, that's right. Six months ago from right now I was drinking my last drops from my last bottle of wine. And I haven't had a single bit of alcohol since. So that means that tomorrow is my six-month anniversary of not drinking! Yay me!

Of course, it's on my mind a lot, and last night I dreamed that I got drunk and didn't care that I almost made it to my six-month milestone. In my dream I figured that I deserved to get drunk since I'd held out for so long. And I drank a bottle of red wine, but happily in my dream I poured out the very end of the bottle because I was mad at myself for getting drunk. So I guess that's a good dream sign, no?

So guess what? I got up this morning all by myself, and about on time! It was thanks to my second alarm across the room, because I don't remember my bedside alarm going off but I do remember suddenly waking up and looking at my clock and deciding that it said 8:30, so my mind told me that I was already really late so I might as well just keep sleeping. The alarm across the room went off just a few minutes later I think, and it was 6:34. But see - my brain plays tricks with my conscience and outrageously lies in order to get more sleep!

I made it to work at 9:30 - yay me! Lately I've been getting really bad and doing my walk of shame in a little after 10 each morning. We had a busy morning and early afternoon, but then The Meat, Freckles and I sat in The Meat's office and listened to certain songs on various cds and talked about music and other such things, and I just love those times!! And then I helped The Queen look over some stuff while trying to get through to Walgreens to order refills of prescriptions - I was quite desperate by the afternoon because I was having quite bad withdrawal symptoms from not taking my antidepressants for the past two or three days. I'm so bad with getting refills, just as I'm bad about getting almost anything done.

At the end of the day I chatted with The Meat for a bit until my brother got there and then we all walked out together. I'm so glad that my brother has gotten to meet The Meat and vice versa, because I completely adore The Meat and he's been such an enormous influence on me and my life, so I love that my brother can now picture him and know who I'm talking about.

So then we picked up my prescriptions and took the bus up to my place. I made my brother be silent as soon as we got off the elevator, and I had him stay out in the hallway while I went in first and greeted the babies. And then I picked little Emma up and walked to the door with her. She started freaking out at first, but I held onto her and my brother put out his hand for her to sniff, and then lightly pet her little head. I let her go after that, but then the most amazing thing - she hid under the bed for only about ten minutes and then came out and was hanging all around us after that!!! She even brushed against my brother and walked right in front of him on the table. I was so proud of her!!! I really feel that she's taking huge steps - first because she's started sleeping on the couch along with James now when I'm on it in the evening, instead of sleeping on the chair or somewhere else. And then she got brave and came out when my brother, a total stranger, was here! I was so happy, and you should have seen how proud she was of her little self! She was so happy!

So anyway, my brother worked on trying to fix my computer a little, to at least make it run faster. And then we walked a couple blocks to a little place for dinner and spent quite a long time there eating and talking. It was absolutely wonderful! And he keeps telling me to move down to Atlanta and I love that he wants me close to him! One of the things we talked about was my getting a new job and how first, it's stressful because I don't know at all what I want to do, second, it's stressful because it's hard looking and getting application stuff all together, and third, it means leaving all my amazing coworkers and friends - who are my family. I started crying a little when talking to him about it all, really when I was talking about how hard the prospect of leaving everyone is to handle. My little brother was so wonderful and being completely understanding while also encouraging me and gently pointing out that I will still be close with them while also making wonderful friends at a new job. All in all, it was just so good because we talked about so many different things, and really shared, and got to find out more of what's in each others' heads and lives. We talked so much, and it all means so incredibly much to me!

He came back to my place just briefly after dinner and did a few more things to my computer, and then I had him take our self-portrait because he has much longer arms than me. And it turned out so cute!!! I wish I could post it on here, because I just adore it! It'll be going in one of my frames or on the refrigerator very soon!

Tomorrow morning I have a meeting for my volunteer group and then I'll hopefully see my brother for an hour in the early afternoon, before he goes to the airport. And then I really need to do some stuff regarding the volunteer group so I'll really try to do some of that tomorrow afternoon. And I also need to call the engineer at my new building to find out stuff for my movers, and I need to call the movers to find out whether they can come earlier because the only time slot I could get for moving out here was between 2 and 4 in the afternoon. If they can't do that time, then I need to call other movers. But one way or another, I need to solidify my plans, and movers are pretty damn important so I need to stop procrastinating!!!

My eyes keep closing for continually longer periods of time now, so it's really time for me to go to bed and I'm seriously too tired to do anything else. But first, I'll raise my glass of water and toast to almost six months of no alcohol!