Happy Thanksgiving! And my long and wonderful account of my weekend with Mr. H!!!
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!! It's almost midnight so Thanksgiving is almost over, and I'm kind of too sleepy now to go search for and save and include some cute little Thanksgiving picture - but so just pretend that there's a wonderful picture of a cooked turkey and stuffing and cranberries and pumpkin pie!! :)
I had a wonderful Thanksgiving with my mom and dad and grandma and grandpa! I had fun with my mom and dad as we got the turkey and stuffing ready and put it all in the oven, and I had fun with them all after we got my grandparents and when we all hung out around the kitchen table and talked and watched little stuff on TV and looked at little shopping ads and such. And then all the food was just so wonderful - I love Thanksgiving dinner so much, it's sooooooo yummy!!! Of course, my stomach ache is just now finally going away almost the whole way :)
I want to list so many of the things I'm grateful for on this Thanksgiving Day, but damn it's just so late and I'm so sleepy!!!! However, I'll name just a few of the millions of things that I'm grateful for: my wonderful mom, my fabulous dad, my loving and sweet grandma and grandpa, my sweet James and Emma who give me such joy, my amazing friends and coworkers who make me so happy and make me feel so loved, and finally - my love Mr. H, who has added a whole new amazing joy and excitement and peace and contentment to my life!
Yesterday I started writing out my account of Mr. H's visit and our perfect long weekend together :) I had THE WORST stomach ache when I started writing and it continued through much of my writing, and I was also occasionally getting up to help my mom with something - so I hope it flows okay and isn't too disjointed or badly written :( I finished it up tonight but it ended up being so long, yes very very long(!), and I don't want to reread the entire thing but instead kind of want to go to bed! But oh it was such a wonderful weekend!!! So so so wonderful!!! And guess what I did today??!! I made my reservation to go visit Mr. H!!!! Yay!!! I'm flying there on the night of December 29 and flying back on the morning of January 4, so we'll have five full days together, and will get to kiss and kiss and kiss as the new year arrives! I love that we'll be together for that!!!
Okay, well I'm off to bed, so now here is my account of our wonderful weekend(!) and of course the beginning stuff that I wrote yesterday as well:
Oh I haven't written in so long and I don't know how to start now!! I'm in Michigan at my parents' house now for the Thanksgiving weekend, and my train came in really really really late last night so we're all still kind of sleepy here. Today I helped my mom with some of the food preparation and we spent the afternoon talking and laughing and I got to tell her so many of the wonderful things about Mr. H and so many little stories about our wonderful time together this past long weekend - and it's so hard for me to STOP talking about him!! And of course he's on my mind All The Time! :)
I don't know if I have the energy right now to write about our entire time together (I'm sleepy and have a stomach ache), but then again, that's the best way for me to organize my thoughts and write out all my wonderful memories that I keep replaying over and over again in my head. So I'll start and I may have to continue more tomorrow!
Okay - well our story starts last Thursday night - I left work early, at about 3:30, to finish cleaning my place a little and do a couple loads of laundry, and it all took a little longer than I expected so I grabbed a cab to the nearest train station and that took longer than I expected, too, and then the train was moving slowly and my sweetie's plane had already landed! I hate that feeling when you're running late! I texted Mr. H to let him know I was on my way and when I got to the airport I went rushing toward his terminal and walking all around trying to find him anywhere. That particular terminal had hardly anyone in it at least, so I didn't have to scan hundreds of people. And then as I was leaving a voicemail for Mr. H (and that's the first time I'd ever actually gotten his voicemail and heard his message), I saw him coming towards me!!! And oh I was so happy! Instantly any nervousness I'd had about seeing him again was gone and there was just his smile and feeling his arms around me and his lips on mine - it was a wonderful, wonderful feeling to be with him again!!!
Then we walked together, holding hands, to the train and took that a few stops, and then spent quite awhile outside waiting for a cab to come by - it was a little chilly but being near Mr. H and kissing him and feeling him holding me made it all okay until a cab finally came, and then I sat smooshed next to him with his bag on the other side of me and our hands on each others' legs or holding hands. I LOVE being close to him, there's just SUCH a magnetic pull there for me!!! We got out near my place and stopped in a convenience store cause I wanted to get sugar for his morning coffee, and then we walked to my place and were home!
My senses were just in overload that first night and right now I can't remember the exact progression of everything, it's all just jumbled together as a perfect first night. I think after we sat down I straddled him on the couch - I just love doing that! - and we kissed and hugged and held each other and then talked while kissing. I think that we ate second and fucked first but I can't be 100% certain of that order. But I remember from the couch Mr. H picked me up and carried me, with my legs around him and while we were kissing, to the bedroom. And I remember we fell high onto the bed and took our clothes off and had wonderful and passionate sex. And as you remember, we fuck together VERY WELL!!
And then we laid together and held each other and talked. And Mr. H told me that he loves me!!! And my heart just swelled!!! And I told him that I love him. I know we haven't known each other for long, and I know that before that night we had just spent 18 1/2 hours together and then talked on the phone every night since. I know these things should move slower, but yet there's something amazing between Mr. H and I, and there's more intensity because of the distance and because of all we have talked about and the fact that we talk so much and for so long. So anyway, despite all these things and partially because of all these things, we are in love, and we shared that wonderful moment of telling each other in person how we feel! It was so wonderful and amazing!
A little later Mr. H took a shower and I put the most wonderful thing from Trader Joe's in the oven: the Tarte d'Alsace - it's the most amazing super thin-crust pizza-like thing (and the crust is sooooooooooooooo amazing!) with gruyer (or is it grueyer? or something else?) cheese, carmelized onions and ham on it. I LOVE this pizza/tarte! And I was so excited that Mr. H loved it just as much as I did!! And because the pizza/tarte is so small, we also ordered this enormous extra-large pizza for delivery - and I took a picture of it sitting on my coffeetable cause there has never been such a big pizza in my place before! So we ate a little more, and we cuddled on the couch and watched some standup routines on Mr. H's laptop while we ate. And eventually we moved to the bedroom again and stayed up rather late having more absolutely amazing sex and cuddling and talking and laughing.
Okay, next to Friday! First - I just LOVE waking up next to Mr. H!!! I love it - I love falling asleep next to him and I love waking up and kissing him and having him there with me! We got ready (well more he waited while I got ready - it takes me much longer to get pretty for sure) and then we walked to the train and my love got to take his first morning rush hour train ride in Chicago! We were a little cuddly on the train and I loved having his arm around me, and then he walked with me to my office and he went to get Starbucks and planned to then go to a couple seminars at the Apple store until early afternoon, when he came to my office to meet everyone.
I made him a little nervous cause I kept telling him that especially The Meat would be asking a lot of questions. I knew he'd do fine, but I didn't want him taken completely by surprise. First he met The Queen and we all laughed and chatted in his office for a bit, and then we took the walk down the hall to meet Freckles and The Meat. The Meat invited us to sit in his office and came in a minute later, and we spent about two hours in there talking to him. The Meat can be intimidating sometimes, and he can also be very blunt, and he also sees me in many ways as a daughter so wanted to make sure Mr. H was a good person and was who he said he was.
Mr. H did so well I thought! He was himself, he was honest, he was friendly - and throughout the whole talk I thought The Meat was able to see how good, how honest and ethical, how smart and well-spoken, how friendly and fun, and how wonderful overall Mr. H is. I thought The Meat was impressed by many things, and I was so happy with Mr. H, and they had so many things to talk about and really I think they are very similar in some very important ways. Near the end, The Queen and Freckles came in for awhile and we all chatted for a bit and then Mr. H and I got ready to leave and took some cool pictures outside, and then took the train most of the way home to my place but stopped at Trader Joe's and Mr. H got some yummy stuff to make for dinner (I'm really bad at describing food but I'll include a picture in my next post - he made chicken thighs with some corn salsa on top, wonderful little baby potatos cut up, french green beans and baby brocolli - it was all so yummy!!! And we lit our candle and dined in the candlelight and at the end took wonderful pictures of the candle and other things around it).
I right now can think back and actually FEEL myself lying in bed next to Mr. H - I can feel his lips, feel my head on his chest, feel his arms around me, see his face, look into his eyes. I miss him and being close to him physically, because it's so amazing and so wonderful. I can't wait until we have that again - it'll be a few weeks but I can't wait.
On Saturday we woke early and met Florida and Asparagus for breakfast and it was very fun - I loved having two of my best friends meet my wonderful boyfriend!!! After breakfast we all walked to a little music shop and chatted along the way, and then chatted outside the shop, and then Florida and Asparagus went back towards their car and Mr. H and I started walking toward home. And then I got a call from Florida and she wanted to tell me right away that they liked Mr. H, and liked him as soon as they met him - that there wasn't even any question about it. I LOVED hearing that! I love that my friends love my boyfriend, too!
Mr. H and I spent the next couple hours walking around, stopping at a couple of little stores, getting coffee, and just spending such a wonderful Saturday afternoon together. I love how whenever we're walking, we hold hands - I LOVE that!!! And I love how Mr. H turns and kisses my head now and then, and how we kiss often. I loved seeing our reflection together whenever we'd approach a diagonal window. I loved looking at little shops together and walking down little sidestreets together. I just love being with him!
When we eventually got home we laid in bed and took a little nap and then later ate leftover pizza for dinner and listened to a new CD that Mr. H bought, and looked at stuff on the internet. And then we walked to see a late night little comedy show, and took pictures around the area before the show. I love how excited Mr. H is about his photography! And I love the unique and so cool pictures that he takes and which are so different from my style of photography!
[I have such a stomach ache right now! I've been in pain for the last couple of hours and it's starting to get a tiny bit better now but it's still so awful - I feel like I don't ever want to eat again! It's all because I love eating pie dough while my mom and I make the pumpkin pies, and because I had my galbladder taken out, it gives me a terrible bellyache later!]
Sunday was so wonderful and yet there was always the slight knowledge that he would be leaving very early the next morning. We didn't talk about it until later in the afternoon at least but I know we were both conscious of it. Still though, it was such a wonderful and priceless day! In the morning we woke and had a lazy morning in bed which included wonderful fucking and then a lot of talking. One thing we talked about was our different style of decorating and how other couples have dealt with that. We both liked the idea of compromising on everything - finding something that both of us could like and be comfortable with - and also each of us having "veto power" that we could use anytime. I think that's a fabulous idea! And later in the day when he told me a certain decorating idea that he always likes, and I answered "we're gonna have to talk about that," we cracked up at my first possible use of The Veto! :)
Oh but so anyway, first we went to breakfast at a little place near me and oh it was so wonderful - we held hands across the table before and after our food came and we talked about fun stuff and also about relationship things and the future. I really think we have a wonderful mixture of lightness and fun and then more serious and very open talks about our couplehood and the future - ideas about raising children, how we fight and deal with stress, how to introduce his dogs and my cats and have them all be happy, where we might live, health insurance, immigration, our views on marriage and communication and commitment, what we'd ideally like for a wedding, how to handle money, how we'll go for walks with the dogs every other night so we can get more cardio and exercise in our lives - I know I'm probably missing a few other things but you get the point that we have talked about a lot of big things. And it feels wonderful to be able to be open and completely myself with him, and to know that he's on the same page exactly as I am so I feel safe to be me!
After breakfast we decided to check out a couple other areas, because I really wanted him to see some other cool little areas and streets in Chicago. We took the train and walked around a bit, checked out a camera store, and then took the train to another area of the city - and on the train we stood close together and I love how he had his arm around me so tightly and whenever the train would jerk a little, he'd hold me even tighter - it makes me feel so special! When we got off we checked out a few stores and took a picture of our reflection together in a window, and went in a couple of other stores and looked at furniture and decorations and organizational stuff - it was just so fun, so so fun to be with him! And then we got a few little groceries and headed back home after walking around for so long.
On the train going home, I got really sad about him leaving and was trying hard not to cry. I didn't want our night to be sad but yet it was such an awful feeling to know our wonderful long weekend together was winding down - I didn't want it to end, I love being with him, I love having him near me - I love my Mr. H! We were kind of melancholy all evening - we held each other a lot, we kissed a lot, we laid together and ate together and tried to not think so much about him leaving. Finally he got everything all packed so he wouldn't have to do much in the morning, and he printed off a boarding pass, and I ordered a cab for him at 4:45 a.m. And then we laid in bed and kissed and cuddled and got as close as we could to each other. We fell asleep with him spooning behind me, our legs entwined, and holding each others' hands.
The next morning came so quickly and while Mr. H was taking a quick shower, I wrote him a note and slipped it into his bag so he'd find it at the airport. And then we had about 15 minutes to just hold each other before his cab came. When we got the call and I walked him downstairs and we hugged and kissed for the last time my tears finally started flowing, and when I watched his cab drive away from my window I was all teary and then went back to bed and slept on his side and on his pillow and wearing his sweatshirt that he'd left behind. (He also left behind his toothbrush and soap and razor and little bag of toiletries - I love that, having them there, knowing he's there a little and will be back!)
Well anyway though, after I woke up and was getting ready for work, I got a call from my love and there was a problem with his plane and a chance he'd be staying another day (yay!), and shortly after that he texted me: "Stay!" Yay! Oh how wonderful when we thought we'd said goodbye and then were given the gift of another day! We met downtown at my work and he came upstairs again to talk to everyone and meet The Italian Chef, and he watched a little action to see some of what goes on every day, and then we got coffee downstairs together and I gave him my keys and he left to go to a seminar at the Apple store and then was going to get some groceries and make dinner!
When I finally got home in the evening, he had bought beautiful pink tulips with yellow tips and had them in water at the table and had the table all set for dinner and a new candle for me (I don't want to completely burn down the first candle he bought for me so I only burn it sparingly now). He's so wonderful! We first laid in bed for awhile so I could warm up a bit, and then I told him I wanted him to fuck me and of course he was so nice and gave me what I wanted! :) Then he finished cooking dinner (big sea scallops with a honey-soy glaze, mashed potatos (yum!) with green onions and goat cheese, brocolli and corn-on-the-cob - and we had our frozen bonbons for dessert!). It was wonderful!!! And then I did the dishes and he helped me clean up a bit and I just loved us working together in the kitchen!
After that we sat in the living room and somehow a topic came up that had been bothering me on and off - I had been trying not to let it get to me and I knew that I was making much more of it, much much more of it, than I should. But it came up then, and I don't like holding things inside me because it just drives me crazy then and becomes a mountain, and also because I want him to know me completely and that includes knowing what's in my head. So we talked for awhile about it - I asked questions, he tried to explain and showed me things and tried in a few different ways to explain it all to me, and then I finally understood and also saw that a lot of what I was worrying about was in my imagination and also went back to some very old worries and thoughts and such (like back in high school and early college). And then it opened up a whole new area for us really, one that we haven't really deeply explored together yet, and it was fun and also opened things up even more.
After that we watched a bit of TV and then got ready for bed and cuddled and kissed and held each other and fell asleep together. And again, the morning came too soon, but having our extra gift of a day had been so wonderful and brought us even closer, especially because I had gotten the worry out of my head completely with regard to my one little issue. And I just love him, and I feel so loved by him, and it makes everything seem so simple even though our situation is more complicated than the average relationship. I just feel wonderful, and so so happy, and that makes it all perfect! :) I know of course that there will be some hard times, and times when the distance will get to us, and times when we'll miss each other so much - but yet right now I feel that nothing is too big, not when we both are committed and in love.
So then after he left I stayed awake and cuddled with James and Emmalove a lot, and then got ready for work and packed and after work took the Amtrak to Michigan. And here I am!
So in conclusion to my VERY LONG POST, it was a wonderful weekend, a perfect weekend, such an important weekend, and it just solidified everything I feel for my wonderful Mr. H! I can't wait to see him again, and I can't wait until I next to talk to him, and I can't wait for our story to continue! But yet even as I say I can't wait, I love experiencing each and every day and each and every conversation and email and text message with him! And I love all the joy I feel!!! :) And I love Mr. H!!!!
I had a wonderful Thanksgiving with my mom and dad and grandma and grandpa! I had fun with my mom and dad as we got the turkey and stuffing ready and put it all in the oven, and I had fun with them all after we got my grandparents and when we all hung out around the kitchen table and talked and watched little stuff on TV and looked at little shopping ads and such. And then all the food was just so wonderful - I love Thanksgiving dinner so much, it's sooooooo yummy!!! Of course, my stomach ache is just now finally going away almost the whole way :)
I want to list so many of the things I'm grateful for on this Thanksgiving Day, but damn it's just so late and I'm so sleepy!!!! However, I'll name just a few of the millions of things that I'm grateful for: my wonderful mom, my fabulous dad, my loving and sweet grandma and grandpa, my sweet James and Emma who give me such joy, my amazing friends and coworkers who make me so happy and make me feel so loved, and finally - my love Mr. H, who has added a whole new amazing joy and excitement and peace and contentment to my life!
Yesterday I started writing out my account of Mr. H's visit and our perfect long weekend together :) I had THE WORST stomach ache when I started writing and it continued through much of my writing, and I was also occasionally getting up to help my mom with something - so I hope it flows okay and isn't too disjointed or badly written :( I finished it up tonight but it ended up being so long, yes very very long(!), and I don't want to reread the entire thing but instead kind of want to go to bed! But oh it was such a wonderful weekend!!! So so so wonderful!!! And guess what I did today??!! I made my reservation to go visit Mr. H!!!! Yay!!! I'm flying there on the night of December 29 and flying back on the morning of January 4, so we'll have five full days together, and will get to kiss and kiss and kiss as the new year arrives! I love that we'll be together for that!!!
Okay, well I'm off to bed, so now here is my account of our wonderful weekend(!) and of course the beginning stuff that I wrote yesterday as well:
Oh I haven't written in so long and I don't know how to start now!! I'm in Michigan at my parents' house now for the Thanksgiving weekend, and my train came in really really really late last night so we're all still kind of sleepy here. Today I helped my mom with some of the food preparation and we spent the afternoon talking and laughing and I got to tell her so many of the wonderful things about Mr. H and so many little stories about our wonderful time together this past long weekend - and it's so hard for me to STOP talking about him!! And of course he's on my mind All The Time! :)
I don't know if I have the energy right now to write about our entire time together (I'm sleepy and have a stomach ache), but then again, that's the best way for me to organize my thoughts and write out all my wonderful memories that I keep replaying over and over again in my head. So I'll start and I may have to continue more tomorrow!
Okay - well our story starts last Thursday night - I left work early, at about 3:30, to finish cleaning my place a little and do a couple loads of laundry, and it all took a little longer than I expected so I grabbed a cab to the nearest train station and that took longer than I expected, too, and then the train was moving slowly and my sweetie's plane had already landed! I hate that feeling when you're running late! I texted Mr. H to let him know I was on my way and when I got to the airport I went rushing toward his terminal and walking all around trying to find him anywhere. That particular terminal had hardly anyone in it at least, so I didn't have to scan hundreds of people. And then as I was leaving a voicemail for Mr. H (and that's the first time I'd ever actually gotten his voicemail and heard his message), I saw him coming towards me!!! And oh I was so happy! Instantly any nervousness I'd had about seeing him again was gone and there was just his smile and feeling his arms around me and his lips on mine - it was a wonderful, wonderful feeling to be with him again!!!
Then we walked together, holding hands, to the train and took that a few stops, and then spent quite awhile outside waiting for a cab to come by - it was a little chilly but being near Mr. H and kissing him and feeling him holding me made it all okay until a cab finally came, and then I sat smooshed next to him with his bag on the other side of me and our hands on each others' legs or holding hands. I LOVE being close to him, there's just SUCH a magnetic pull there for me!!! We got out near my place and stopped in a convenience store cause I wanted to get sugar for his morning coffee, and then we walked to my place and were home!
My senses were just in overload that first night and right now I can't remember the exact progression of everything, it's all just jumbled together as a perfect first night. I think after we sat down I straddled him on the couch - I just love doing that! - and we kissed and hugged and held each other and then talked while kissing. I think that we ate second and fucked first but I can't be 100% certain of that order. But I remember from the couch Mr. H picked me up and carried me, with my legs around him and while we were kissing, to the bedroom. And I remember we fell high onto the bed and took our clothes off and had wonderful and passionate sex. And as you remember, we fuck together VERY WELL!!
And then we laid together and held each other and talked. And Mr. H told me that he loves me!!! And my heart just swelled!!! And I told him that I love him. I know we haven't known each other for long, and I know that before that night we had just spent 18 1/2 hours together and then talked on the phone every night since. I know these things should move slower, but yet there's something amazing between Mr. H and I, and there's more intensity because of the distance and because of all we have talked about and the fact that we talk so much and for so long. So anyway, despite all these things and partially because of all these things, we are in love, and we shared that wonderful moment of telling each other in person how we feel! It was so wonderful and amazing!
A little later Mr. H took a shower and I put the most wonderful thing from Trader Joe's in the oven: the Tarte d'Alsace - it's the most amazing super thin-crust pizza-like thing (and the crust is sooooooooooooooo amazing!) with gruyer (or is it grueyer? or something else?) cheese, carmelized onions and ham on it. I LOVE this pizza/tarte! And I was so excited that Mr. H loved it just as much as I did!! And because the pizza/tarte is so small, we also ordered this enormous extra-large pizza for delivery - and I took a picture of it sitting on my coffeetable cause there has never been such a big pizza in my place before! So we ate a little more, and we cuddled on the couch and watched some standup routines on Mr. H's laptop while we ate. And eventually we moved to the bedroom again and stayed up rather late having more absolutely amazing sex and cuddling and talking and laughing.
Okay, next to Friday! First - I just LOVE waking up next to Mr. H!!! I love it - I love falling asleep next to him and I love waking up and kissing him and having him there with me! We got ready (well more he waited while I got ready - it takes me much longer to get pretty for sure) and then we walked to the train and my love got to take his first morning rush hour train ride in Chicago! We were a little cuddly on the train and I loved having his arm around me, and then he walked with me to my office and he went to get Starbucks and planned to then go to a couple seminars at the Apple store until early afternoon, when he came to my office to meet everyone.
I made him a little nervous cause I kept telling him that especially The Meat would be asking a lot of questions. I knew he'd do fine, but I didn't want him taken completely by surprise. First he met The Queen and we all laughed and chatted in his office for a bit, and then we took the walk down the hall to meet Freckles and The Meat. The Meat invited us to sit in his office and came in a minute later, and we spent about two hours in there talking to him. The Meat can be intimidating sometimes, and he can also be very blunt, and he also sees me in many ways as a daughter so wanted to make sure Mr. H was a good person and was who he said he was.
Mr. H did so well I thought! He was himself, he was honest, he was friendly - and throughout the whole talk I thought The Meat was able to see how good, how honest and ethical, how smart and well-spoken, how friendly and fun, and how wonderful overall Mr. H is. I thought The Meat was impressed by many things, and I was so happy with Mr. H, and they had so many things to talk about and really I think they are very similar in some very important ways. Near the end, The Queen and Freckles came in for awhile and we all chatted for a bit and then Mr. H and I got ready to leave and took some cool pictures outside, and then took the train most of the way home to my place but stopped at Trader Joe's and Mr. H got some yummy stuff to make for dinner (I'm really bad at describing food but I'll include a picture in my next post - he made chicken thighs with some corn salsa on top, wonderful little baby potatos cut up, french green beans and baby brocolli - it was all so yummy!!! And we lit our candle and dined in the candlelight and at the end took wonderful pictures of the candle and other things around it).
I right now can think back and actually FEEL myself lying in bed next to Mr. H - I can feel his lips, feel my head on his chest, feel his arms around me, see his face, look into his eyes. I miss him and being close to him physically, because it's so amazing and so wonderful. I can't wait until we have that again - it'll be a few weeks but I can't wait.
On Saturday we woke early and met Florida and Asparagus for breakfast and it was very fun - I loved having two of my best friends meet my wonderful boyfriend!!! After breakfast we all walked to a little music shop and chatted along the way, and then chatted outside the shop, and then Florida and Asparagus went back towards their car and Mr. H and I started walking toward home. And then I got a call from Florida and she wanted to tell me right away that they liked Mr. H, and liked him as soon as they met him - that there wasn't even any question about it. I LOVED hearing that! I love that my friends love my boyfriend, too!
Mr. H and I spent the next couple hours walking around, stopping at a couple of little stores, getting coffee, and just spending such a wonderful Saturday afternoon together. I love how whenever we're walking, we hold hands - I LOVE that!!! And I love how Mr. H turns and kisses my head now and then, and how we kiss often. I loved seeing our reflection together whenever we'd approach a diagonal window. I loved looking at little shops together and walking down little sidestreets together. I just love being with him!
When we eventually got home we laid in bed and took a little nap and then later ate leftover pizza for dinner and listened to a new CD that Mr. H bought, and looked at stuff on the internet. And then we walked to see a late night little comedy show, and took pictures around the area before the show. I love how excited Mr. H is about his photography! And I love the unique and so cool pictures that he takes and which are so different from my style of photography!
[I have such a stomach ache right now! I've been in pain for the last couple of hours and it's starting to get a tiny bit better now but it's still so awful - I feel like I don't ever want to eat again! It's all because I love eating pie dough while my mom and I make the pumpkin pies, and because I had my galbladder taken out, it gives me a terrible bellyache later!]
Sunday was so wonderful and yet there was always the slight knowledge that he would be leaving very early the next morning. We didn't talk about it until later in the afternoon at least but I know we were both conscious of it. Still though, it was such a wonderful and priceless day! In the morning we woke and had a lazy morning in bed which included wonderful fucking and then a lot of talking. One thing we talked about was our different style of decorating and how other couples have dealt with that. We both liked the idea of compromising on everything - finding something that both of us could like and be comfortable with - and also each of us having "veto power" that we could use anytime. I think that's a fabulous idea! And later in the day when he told me a certain decorating idea that he always likes, and I answered "we're gonna have to talk about that," we cracked up at my first possible use of The Veto! :)
Oh but so anyway, first we went to breakfast at a little place near me and oh it was so wonderful - we held hands across the table before and after our food came and we talked about fun stuff and also about relationship things and the future. I really think we have a wonderful mixture of lightness and fun and then more serious and very open talks about our couplehood and the future - ideas about raising children, how we fight and deal with stress, how to introduce his dogs and my cats and have them all be happy, where we might live, health insurance, immigration, our views on marriage and communication and commitment, what we'd ideally like for a wedding, how to handle money, how we'll go for walks with the dogs every other night so we can get more cardio and exercise in our lives - I know I'm probably missing a few other things but you get the point that we have talked about a lot of big things. And it feels wonderful to be able to be open and completely myself with him, and to know that he's on the same page exactly as I am so I feel safe to be me!
After breakfast we decided to check out a couple other areas, because I really wanted him to see some other cool little areas and streets in Chicago. We took the train and walked around a bit, checked out a camera store, and then took the train to another area of the city - and on the train we stood close together and I love how he had his arm around me so tightly and whenever the train would jerk a little, he'd hold me even tighter - it makes me feel so special! When we got off we checked out a few stores and took a picture of our reflection together in a window, and went in a couple of other stores and looked at furniture and decorations and organizational stuff - it was just so fun, so so fun to be with him! And then we got a few little groceries and headed back home after walking around for so long.
On the train going home, I got really sad about him leaving and was trying hard not to cry. I didn't want our night to be sad but yet it was such an awful feeling to know our wonderful long weekend together was winding down - I didn't want it to end, I love being with him, I love having him near me - I love my Mr. H! We were kind of melancholy all evening - we held each other a lot, we kissed a lot, we laid together and ate together and tried to not think so much about him leaving. Finally he got everything all packed so he wouldn't have to do much in the morning, and he printed off a boarding pass, and I ordered a cab for him at 4:45 a.m. And then we laid in bed and kissed and cuddled and got as close as we could to each other. We fell asleep with him spooning behind me, our legs entwined, and holding each others' hands.
The next morning came so quickly and while Mr. H was taking a quick shower, I wrote him a note and slipped it into his bag so he'd find it at the airport. And then we had about 15 minutes to just hold each other before his cab came. When we got the call and I walked him downstairs and we hugged and kissed for the last time my tears finally started flowing, and when I watched his cab drive away from my window I was all teary and then went back to bed and slept on his side and on his pillow and wearing his sweatshirt that he'd left behind. (He also left behind his toothbrush and soap and razor and little bag of toiletries - I love that, having them there, knowing he's there a little and will be back!)
Well anyway though, after I woke up and was getting ready for work, I got a call from my love and there was a problem with his plane and a chance he'd be staying another day (yay!), and shortly after that he texted me: "Stay!" Yay! Oh how wonderful when we thought we'd said goodbye and then were given the gift of another day! We met downtown at my work and he came upstairs again to talk to everyone and meet The Italian Chef, and he watched a little action to see some of what goes on every day, and then we got coffee downstairs together and I gave him my keys and he left to go to a seminar at the Apple store and then was going to get some groceries and make dinner!
When I finally got home in the evening, he had bought beautiful pink tulips with yellow tips and had them in water at the table and had the table all set for dinner and a new candle for me (I don't want to completely burn down the first candle he bought for me so I only burn it sparingly now). He's so wonderful! We first laid in bed for awhile so I could warm up a bit, and then I told him I wanted him to fuck me and of course he was so nice and gave me what I wanted! :) Then he finished cooking dinner (big sea scallops with a honey-soy glaze, mashed potatos (yum!) with green onions and goat cheese, brocolli and corn-on-the-cob - and we had our frozen bonbons for dessert!). It was wonderful!!! And then I did the dishes and he helped me clean up a bit and I just loved us working together in the kitchen!
After that we sat in the living room and somehow a topic came up that had been bothering me on and off - I had been trying not to let it get to me and I knew that I was making much more of it, much much more of it, than I should. But it came up then, and I don't like holding things inside me because it just drives me crazy then and becomes a mountain, and also because I want him to know me completely and that includes knowing what's in my head. So we talked for awhile about it - I asked questions, he tried to explain and showed me things and tried in a few different ways to explain it all to me, and then I finally understood and also saw that a lot of what I was worrying about was in my imagination and also went back to some very old worries and thoughts and such (like back in high school and early college). And then it opened up a whole new area for us really, one that we haven't really deeply explored together yet, and it was fun and also opened things up even more.
After that we watched a bit of TV and then got ready for bed and cuddled and kissed and held each other and fell asleep together. And again, the morning came too soon, but having our extra gift of a day had been so wonderful and brought us even closer, especially because I had gotten the worry out of my head completely with regard to my one little issue. And I just love him, and I feel so loved by him, and it makes everything seem so simple even though our situation is more complicated than the average relationship. I just feel wonderful, and so so happy, and that makes it all perfect! :) I know of course that there will be some hard times, and times when the distance will get to us, and times when we'll miss each other so much - but yet right now I feel that nothing is too big, not when we both are committed and in love.
So then after he left I stayed awake and cuddled with James and Emmalove a lot, and then got ready for work and packed and after work took the Amtrak to Michigan. And here I am!
So in conclusion to my VERY LONG POST, it was a wonderful weekend, a perfect weekend, such an important weekend, and it just solidified everything I feel for my wonderful Mr. H! I can't wait to see him again, and I can't wait until I next to talk to him, and I can't wait for our story to continue! But yet even as I say I can't wait, I love experiencing each and every day and each and every conversation and email and text message with him! And I love all the joy I feel!!! :) And I love Mr. H!!!!
