Random stuff
I've run out of time again to write much. Ugh, I need to leave work earlier so I can get home earlier and have time to back up all my files before my computer dies, and have time to write a proper post - I want to write about my wonderful and amazing talk with my dad, about my talk with my grandpa, about how good my grandma's mental health and balance is since she started doing simple exercises a month ago and how she seems suddenly ten years younger. And I want to set aside an hour each night to spend on going through my html and css books and exercises. And I want to make decisions on presents for Christmas and get some of them ordered. And my place needs to be cleaned again, and my laundry needs to be done. And I wanted to do some free association and brainstorming tonight on any and all possible jobs/careers that may even slightly interest me, and then start making lists of things I like and don't like and need and don't need etc. regarding my future right now unknown career.
And I know I need to chill the fuck out with the stressing over all these undone things because it's not as if any of this stuff I've listed has a deadline! But I'm still feeling slightly overwhelmed just because I'm getting none of it done so I'm frustrated by my lack of control and self-control. I wish I had a weekend day right now so I could have a whole day to do all the things I want to do and feel more in control of everything. But I don't yet, so I'm going to relax and take a deep breath and remind myself that life is too short to stress about ridiculous things. In...and out...in...out...and I'm taking a page from DailyOM right now and visualizing a light all around me shining in rays, and I'm visualizing my little stresses floating away from me like little clouds of smoke, and already I feel lighter! (I went a little further in my visualization but you get the point - and no I'm not some kind of wackjob because these things really do work!) I honestly feel a little lighter now, although I'm going to keep going back to the visualization while I get ready for bed and before I fall asleep as well, cause I'm still feeling that lack of control stress trying to get back in my mind.
And now, for something much more fun!! Can I tell you how much I LOVE this picture!!! I've seen it a few times and every time it cracks me up even more - the dog looks soooooooo silly and funny in that little basket and just seeing it's expression in looking at the cat curled up in the nice big bed is one of the funniest things I've ever seen - it keeps making me laugh every single time I even think of it, and not just laugh, but I feel a kind of tickle from deep in my belly at the hilarity of it - I could so easily cry laughing over this picture!!! :) I LOVE it!!! I can't think of another thing right now that will keep making me laugh this way over and over and over again!
It's midnight now and well past my bedtime - I was feeling so tired all day and wanted to get to bed early but getting to bed early is so hard for me to do. This is another reason why I need the weekend to come: to be able to sleep in one morning! Oh but so I know I wanted to address a few more random things: 1) I have heard so many good things about the new James Bond film and I so want to go see it! I own every Bond film, a soundtrack with all the main songs, a Bond book, and my own sweet James is named after James Bond because James is a tuxedo cat and as we all know, James Bond wears a tuxedo so often - so you see, I really need to see this movie! Plus, it sounds so so so much better than all the recent films which so excites me! 2) That movie Happy Feet looks like about the cutest little film out there! I don't know if I'll see it before it comes to video, but I do want to see it. 3) There are some other really really really good movies out and/or coming out soon, and I probably will see hardly any of them but I always hear about so many around this time (x-mas and the awards season coming) that I really want to see. And yet, even though I just spent a whole long paragraph talking about movies, I don't actually care all that much if I see or don't see them. But it's just been on my mind recently about all the good-sounding ones coming out.
I'm so so so so tired now and my eyes keep closing. To finish, I'm going to follow another wonderful and fabulous idea of CeeCi's - at the end of every post, I'm going to list three things that I'm grateful for at that moment/time. This is SUCH a wonderful thing because then it's constant gratitude and being aware of what we're grateful for. And also, I usually don't have time to write out entire Gratitude Tuesday lists anymore (although it's not completely true that I don't have the time and instead I'm not good with organizing my time) but I really miss writing those lists and keep promising to work on my lists again. But until then, and even when I'm doing the long lists again, I love love love the idea of noticing and writing down three little or big things that are making me happy right that moment!!! CeeCi is just amazing with all her kick-ass ideas!!! :)
So - 3 things I'm grateful for right now are:
1) My wonderful IMing and talking to Mr. H tonight which, despite my somewhat stressed mood, made me smile and laugh and feel such joy at all that he has brought to my life!
2) Little James and Emma, my sweetest babies, who are so happy to have me back home with them and have been letting me know how much they missed me in their absolutely adorable, silly, cuddly and purring little ways!
3) My dad, because our talk the other night meant so so so so so much to me, and I feel a whole new acceptance and happiness, and I feel loved, and I feel that he's really on my side now, and knows me so much better than he did before, and I don't feel judged by him anymore, or that he's disappointed in me, and it all gives me a new sense of confidence and a bit of freedom. I'll write more on this later.
Now my so so so so sleepy self is going to bed!
And I know I need to chill the fuck out with the stressing over all these undone things because it's not as if any of this stuff I've listed has a deadline! But I'm still feeling slightly overwhelmed just because I'm getting none of it done so I'm frustrated by my lack of control and self-control. I wish I had a weekend day right now so I could have a whole day to do all the things I want to do and feel more in control of everything. But I don't yet, so I'm going to relax and take a deep breath and remind myself that life is too short to stress about ridiculous things. In...and out...in...out...and I'm taking a page from DailyOM right now and visualizing a light all around me shining in rays, and I'm visualizing my little stresses floating away from me like little clouds of smoke, and already I feel lighter! (I went a little further in my visualization but you get the point - and no I'm not some kind of wackjob because these things really do work!) I honestly feel a little lighter now, although I'm going to keep going back to the visualization while I get ready for bed and before I fall asleep as well, cause I'm still feeling that lack of control stress trying to get back in my mind.
And now, for something much more fun!! Can I tell you how much I LOVE this picture!!! I've seen it a few times and every time it cracks me up even more - the dog looks soooooooo silly and funny in that little basket and just seeing it's expression in looking at the cat curled up in the nice big bed is one of the funniest things I've ever seen - it keeps making me laugh every single time I even think of it, and not just laugh, but I feel a kind of tickle from deep in my belly at the hilarity of it - I could so easily cry laughing over this picture!!! :) I LOVE it!!! I can't think of another thing right now that will keep making me laugh this way over and over and over again!
It's midnight now and well past my bedtime - I was feeling so tired all day and wanted to get to bed early but getting to bed early is so hard for me to do. This is another reason why I need the weekend to come: to be able to sleep in one morning! Oh but so I know I wanted to address a few more random things: 1) I have heard so many good things about the new James Bond film and I so want to go see it! I own every Bond film, a soundtrack with all the main songs, a Bond book, and my own sweet James is named after James Bond because James is a tuxedo cat and as we all know, James Bond wears a tuxedo so often - so you see, I really need to see this movie! Plus, it sounds so so so much better than all the recent films which so excites me! 2) That movie Happy Feet looks like about the cutest little film out there! I don't know if I'll see it before it comes to video, but I do want to see it. 3) There are some other really really really good movies out and/or coming out soon, and I probably will see hardly any of them but I always hear about so many around this time (x-mas and the awards season coming) that I really want to see. And yet, even though I just spent a whole long paragraph talking about movies, I don't actually care all that much if I see or don't see them. But it's just been on my mind recently about all the good-sounding ones coming out.
I'm so so so so tired now and my eyes keep closing. To finish, I'm going to follow another wonderful and fabulous idea of CeeCi's - at the end of every post, I'm going to list three things that I'm grateful for at that moment/time. This is SUCH a wonderful thing because then it's constant gratitude and being aware of what we're grateful for. And also, I usually don't have time to write out entire Gratitude Tuesday lists anymore (although it's not completely true that I don't have the time and instead I'm not good with organizing my time) but I really miss writing those lists and keep promising to work on my lists again. But until then, and even when I'm doing the long lists again, I love love love the idea of noticing and writing down three little or big things that are making me happy right that moment!!! CeeCi is just amazing with all her kick-ass ideas!!! :)
So - 3 things I'm grateful for right now are:
1) My wonderful IMing and talking to Mr. H tonight which, despite my somewhat stressed mood, made me smile and laugh and feel such joy at all that he has brought to my life!
2) Little James and Emma, my sweetest babies, who are so happy to have me back home with them and have been letting me know how much they missed me in their absolutely adorable, silly, cuddly and purring little ways!
3) My dad, because our talk the other night meant so so so so so much to me, and I feel a whole new acceptance and happiness, and I feel loved, and I feel that he's really on my side now, and knows me so much better than he did before, and I don't feel judged by him anymore, or that he's disappointed in me, and it all gives me a new sense of confidence and a bit of freedom. I'll write more on this later.
Now my so so so so sleepy self is going to bed!
