Helping a friend and my Sunday amazing cleaning spree!!
[Edit, 2:20 p.m.:
Last night my friend called me at 3:45 a.m. and he wasn't in a good state. I stayed on the phone with him until 6:15 this morning. I fell asleep three or four times on him and woke to him yelling "hello, hello, hello, hello" on the phone and I felt so bad. After we got off, even though I should have made coffee and gotten in the shower, I was in such a sleepy daze so I went back to bed. When my mom called me I at one point fell asleep for a couple seconds and in those couple seconds had some mini-dream where someone said something to me and when I woke back up I tried to pretend that I hadn't been asleep and had been listening to her and I thought she had said what the person in the dream said so I responded to that or said something completely nonsensical which I can't even remember. She asked me if I had been drinking, and I got angry with her so she'd let me off the phone and I could go back to sleep. I was in a daze until I woke up at about 12:15 this afternoon.
And then I started freaking out because I hadn't heard from my friend. He was going to go to his therapist's office for an appointment at 9 in the morning and call me afterward and I hadn't heard from him. I called all his numbers and then started getting slightly hysterical and weeping and called The Meat and on his suggestion I tried calling the therapist and left a message, and I called and left a message for my friend's best friend who lives on the West Coast, and I looked up the number to the main office of the building where my friend lives in case I would need them to go try to knock on his door, and I tried calling my friend again, and I was weeping all over the place. Before this I've always been so calm and now it's suddenly all hitting me and I'm having a day of very erratic emotions now.
The best friend from the West Coast called me after about 45 minutes and he thankfully told me that he'd talked to my friend this morning. And then my friend just called me about twenty minutes ago and he's not in a good place at all, but he's getting help and I was so happy to talk to him for a little while. I keep going through periods where I'm calm and then periods where I can't stop crying. And even though I slept for 2 1/2 hours during the night and then 6 hours this morning, I feel like I haven't slept more than 2 hours right now.
But my friend is okay so I'll be okay, and whenever I talk to him I'm in complete control of my emotions and am strong for him. Okay, I'll end my edit now and write more tonight.]
I had grand plans for writing all about my weekend with this guy, and for also doing Gratitude Tuesday (finally again). But then one of my closest friends needed me and I'm so honored that I could be there for him. We were on the phone, with one small break, from about 8:30 until almost midnight tonight. I would have talked to him far into the night, and I gave him an open invitation to call me anytime during the night if he wakes up or can't sleep.
Through helping him, I get to be a good listener, learn a little about counseling in an amateur sense, practice my skills in seeing so many different sides of things, learn about myself and what I think and believe, and delve into the human brain and into why we act and react in certain ways, why certain people may react differently from the norm, just how many defense mechanisms humans are capable of setting up, and so many other millions of psychological theories and ideas. But most of all I get to be there for him and hopefully help in some way, although I find myself sometimes frustrated by my lack of knowledge (in psychology and counseling) and I know this is beyond my abilities.
But luckily he's seeing his real therapist tomorrow morning, and he'll call me afterward to give me an update. I really don't know what to do to help him because I know that despite my many lines of logic and my being alternately sweet/soft/understanding and surly/slightly harsh/logical, and despite my constant hammering into his mind that there is always hope and always the possibility that something good can happen, only he can decide that he wants to go forward and really, really address the things that he needs to address. And right now he alternatively doesn't want to, can't, and refuses to really address those issues.
But so anyway, now I don't have time to get into the whole guy story or to do Gratitude Tuesday - or else I would get to bed really, really, really late and not be able to wake up tomorrow morning. Oh but I will add that I spent the entire day on Sunday, from 8 a.m. to about 8:30 p.m., cleaning my entire apartment - I was absolutely fabulous and on a roll and went from my living room (throwing away garbage, taking dirty dishes into the kitchen, straightening, throwing away things I don't need, dusting, vacuuming carpet (and hall carpet, along with getting on my knees and picking up millions of individual little litter pieces), and swiffering), to my bedroom (sorting through clean and dirty clothes, hanging up clean clothes, making piles of laundry, stripping the bed, and slowly de-cat-hairing my duvet), to my bathroom (throwing out old litter, cleaning the litter pan in the bathtub, shaking out the little carpet in front of the litter pan, swiffering and wet swiffering the floor, putting sparkly new litter in the box, and cleaning the toilet, tub and sink), to the dining room/kitchen (getting rid of everything on the table, taking out all trash, and doing all dishes), and I also did three loads of laundry and made my bed up all gorgeously (there was no sex in it to mess it up, so it still looks gorgeous). Oh and I put nice little smell-things all around because the old ones were all out. It's so fabulous to come home to a perfectly clean place and have it smelling so beautiful, too! (Even though I came home today to find that James had again pooped on the hall rug - I get so angry with him but he won't stop pooping out there, I'm so frustrated!)
It's so late now, my eyes are so heavy and closing, and I can't wait to get into my lovely clean bed and feel the supersoft sheets on my skin!!!
Last night my friend called me at 3:45 a.m. and he wasn't in a good state. I stayed on the phone with him until 6:15 this morning. I fell asleep three or four times on him and woke to him yelling "hello, hello, hello, hello" on the phone and I felt so bad. After we got off, even though I should have made coffee and gotten in the shower, I was in such a sleepy daze so I went back to bed. When my mom called me I at one point fell asleep for a couple seconds and in those couple seconds had some mini-dream where someone said something to me and when I woke back up I tried to pretend that I hadn't been asleep and had been listening to her and I thought she had said what the person in the dream said so I responded to that or said something completely nonsensical which I can't even remember. She asked me if I had been drinking, and I got angry with her so she'd let me off the phone and I could go back to sleep. I was in a daze until I woke up at about 12:15 this afternoon.
And then I started freaking out because I hadn't heard from my friend. He was going to go to his therapist's office for an appointment at 9 in the morning and call me afterward and I hadn't heard from him. I called all his numbers and then started getting slightly hysterical and weeping and called The Meat and on his suggestion I tried calling the therapist and left a message, and I called and left a message for my friend's best friend who lives on the West Coast, and I looked up the number to the main office of the building where my friend lives in case I would need them to go try to knock on his door, and I tried calling my friend again, and I was weeping all over the place. Before this I've always been so calm and now it's suddenly all hitting me and I'm having a day of very erratic emotions now.
The best friend from the West Coast called me after about 45 minutes and he thankfully told me that he'd talked to my friend this morning. And then my friend just called me about twenty minutes ago and he's not in a good place at all, but he's getting help and I was so happy to talk to him for a little while. I keep going through periods where I'm calm and then periods where I can't stop crying. And even though I slept for 2 1/2 hours during the night and then 6 hours this morning, I feel like I haven't slept more than 2 hours right now.
But my friend is okay so I'll be okay, and whenever I talk to him I'm in complete control of my emotions and am strong for him. Okay, I'll end my edit now and write more tonight.]
I had grand plans for writing all about my weekend with this guy, and for also doing Gratitude Tuesday (finally again). But then one of my closest friends needed me and I'm so honored that I could be there for him. We were on the phone, with one small break, from about 8:30 until almost midnight tonight. I would have talked to him far into the night, and I gave him an open invitation to call me anytime during the night if he wakes up or can't sleep.
Through helping him, I get to be a good listener, learn a little about counseling in an amateur sense, practice my skills in seeing so many different sides of things, learn about myself and what I think and believe, and delve into the human brain and into why we act and react in certain ways, why certain people may react differently from the norm, just how many defense mechanisms humans are capable of setting up, and so many other millions of psychological theories and ideas. But most of all I get to be there for him and hopefully help in some way, although I find myself sometimes frustrated by my lack of knowledge (in psychology and counseling) and I know this is beyond my abilities.
But luckily he's seeing his real therapist tomorrow morning, and he'll call me afterward to give me an update. I really don't know what to do to help him because I know that despite my many lines of logic and my being alternately sweet/soft/understanding and surly/slightly harsh/logical, and despite my constant hammering into his mind that there is always hope and always the possibility that something good can happen, only he can decide that he wants to go forward and really, really address the things that he needs to address. And right now he alternatively doesn't want to, can't, and refuses to really address those issues.
But so anyway, now I don't have time to get into the whole guy story or to do Gratitude Tuesday - or else I would get to bed really, really, really late and not be able to wake up tomorrow morning. Oh but I will add that I spent the entire day on Sunday, from 8 a.m. to about 8:30 p.m., cleaning my entire apartment - I was absolutely fabulous and on a roll and went from my living room (throwing away garbage, taking dirty dishes into the kitchen, straightening, throwing away things I don't need, dusting, vacuuming carpet (and hall carpet, along with getting on my knees and picking up millions of individual little litter pieces), and swiffering), to my bedroom (sorting through clean and dirty clothes, hanging up clean clothes, making piles of laundry, stripping the bed, and slowly de-cat-hairing my duvet), to my bathroom (throwing out old litter, cleaning the litter pan in the bathtub, shaking out the little carpet in front of the litter pan, swiffering and wet swiffering the floor, putting sparkly new litter in the box, and cleaning the toilet, tub and sink), to the dining room/kitchen (getting rid of everything on the table, taking out all trash, and doing all dishes), and I also did three loads of laundry and made my bed up all gorgeously (there was no sex in it to mess it up, so it still looks gorgeous). Oh and I put nice little smell-things all around because the old ones were all out. It's so fabulous to come home to a perfectly clean place and have it smelling so beautiful, too! (Even though I came home today to find that James had again pooped on the hall rug - I get so angry with him but he won't stop pooping out there, I'm so frustrated!)
It's so late now, my eyes are so heavy and closing, and I can't wait to get into my lovely clean bed and feel the supersoft sheets on my skin!!!
