I'm alive and very well despite not posting for so long!
I swear I'm all okay, even though I know it's been forever since I've written anything! It's 11:30 a.m., I just finished putting my makeup on and I've showered and I'm finishing my coffee. I talked to my mom for an hour this morning and it was really nice because although she calls me every morning to wake me up, I'm usually half asleep and waiting for her to get off so I can go back to sleep for another half hour or so until The German calls me. So we got to chat for a long time about all kinds of things, I loved it! She and my dad come next Friday afternoon for the weekend - I can't wait for them to see my fabulous and amazing new apartment!!!! But that's one reason why I haven't written - because I'm doing things to fix it up and/or ordering things online that I've been meaning to get. So I'll do a quick run-down of my week since Tuesday night:
Wednesday night:
I spent a long time on the internet looking for pretty fake flowers. I bought four of the prettiest and quaintest hanging flower holders from Pottery Barn - they look like they could be in an Italian villa and since I absolutely adore the Italian villa decor, I of course love these! So anyway, two are up in my living room and I need to have The German come over with his drill bits before my parents come to hang up the other two for me. Oh and The Meat gave me an extra drill of his, so now I have a drill!! But it doesn't come with the drill bits of course so I can't drill it myself. Although I told my mom all this so I think my dad will get me a package of drill bits for my birthday (which is on Monday! And I'll be (deep breath) 30!). Anyway though, I decided that I wanted some pretty fake gerber daisies or something that looked like it, so I was searching all over for that. And I ended up finding some that I really liked on eBay, although the seller is a little company so she/they sell lots of fake silk flowers and plants. I ordered both the yellow ones and the fushia ones, and each come with six bundles of seven flowers each - so that's alot of flowers! But that means I can put them all around my apartment to draw it all together!!! How exciting! I also ordered a long fake ivy plant. And the whole thing was only $90 for all that!
Okay so after that, I ordered a few things from Pottery Barn that I needed, including a new lamp shade to replace the very very very old one that broke in the move - and I'm glad it did because I wanted a new one anyway. And I also got myself this little remote control wood basket thing that was on sale, and I love it - remotes all over the coffee table look so messy. The stuff got delivered last night by the way! Hmmm, that was fast, so maybe I actually ordered this stuff on Tuesday night instead.
Oh and then I was also going through all my pictures from the last seven months that I have on my computer to find my best pieces of photography. This is soooooooooooooooooo exciting!!! The Bold One is trying to get it set that I'll be able to display a bunch of my pictures in a new nail salon that one of her clients is opening. I would provide the pictures in frames and all that, framed of course, but under each picture it would have a card with the name and also a price - so she would get free artwork, and I would get to have my photography displayed and possibly make a little money!!!! How exciting is this!!!! The Bold One is setting up a meeting sometime in the future, so I need to get a little portfolio made - hence the going through pictures. So yesterday I finally ordered A TON of pictures, and I'll be picking them up as soon as I finish this and leave. I ordered them all in 8x10 size for my portfolio and holy shit does this add up. Yes, I ordered about 50 pictures because last night I bought a portfolio book with slots for 48 pictures, and also I want to represent lots of different subject matters etc. But each 8x10 costs fucking $6! However, when I go to pick them up I'll pay the $16 fee to be a member for a year and they'll refund back to me the discount that members get. I'm hoping that it's substantial for these 8x10 prints, because holy shit is $6 absolutely ridiculously expense, when 5x7s cost 99 cents.
Oh and then before going to bed really really late at night, I put up blue painting tape through most of my apartment that still needs to be painted, until I ran out of tape.
Okay, now I'm to Thursday night:
I stayed late at work and went to The German's place at 7. We first changed into our swimsuits and went swimming in his pool - I love love love swimming in his pool! There's never anyone else in it, and it's warm and I just love seeing my hands gliding through the water out in front of me. They have these very cool lights just under the water so my hands look like they're gliding through aquamarine glowing water! But first, when I first walked in the door at The German's apartment, he grabbed me and hugged me very very tightly for over a minute and was kissing me throughout that time. Including with a little tongue. As a result, I was kind of incredibly horny so while we were in the pool we had a few makeout sessions, and a lot of physical contact, it was actually really hot. When we went back down to his place we had a pretty incredible sex session!
I know that he says he doesn't want to be married and have a home and family, and that might well be true. I'm giving this a couple months to see if anything develops more, because he really is changing and he also really adores me. But I'm really okay with it all, and if he isn't going to change I know I'll be just fine. I'm having fun right now and don't feel like meeting anyone new or dating anyway - I'm working on me and for the moment I'm very happy and content with my life just the way it is. So that's that - no pressure on me, and I'm just going with the natural flow right now. What will happen will happen.
Anyway, after swimming and sex, he cooked us up some wonderful pasta as well as the best appetizer EVER from Trader Joe's - this thing that looked just like a pizza and was similar but was very crusty and had ham, carmelized onions and grueyer (sp? I know it's wrong but don't feel like looking up the correct spelling) cheese. It was so fucking good! I'm going to get a couple of these for when my parents are here so I'll take a picture then! After eating we watched the first part of Das Boot - I had never seen the movie and as I found out from him, it was actually a miniseries in Germany and consisted of three parts of 1.5 hours each. When it was turned into a movie here in America, they just cut a ton out and made it one movie. So we watched the first of the three episodes - it was of course in German with English subtitles and I love listening to the German! After that I left but I didn't get home until 12:30 a.m. so was too tired to write.
Friday night:
I stayed late at work because The Meat and I were chatting and then I told him about a job that Violet just told me about at the City, and that caused me to start weeping so we chatted about all that, and about how I can get a new job and still maintain my friendships with everyone at my current job, and how I'll be just across the street, and how The Meat and I would just have to go get coffee most days then so we can have our chats then. And then because I was already crying I decided to tell him about my complete lack of confidence in myself professionally, and how I'm doubting my intelligence, and how I feel like I can't sell myself for any job because I'm feeling like I have hardly anything to actually offer - so he talked for a very long time while I cried and nodded. He helped me a little, but I still have all my issues. I think I just need to somehow deal with them myself, because I see that his building me up didn't really work. I don't really like the law, but also I feel like I don't have the mind for law. I don't think I'm good at it. I think differently somehow than I need to. And then there are all my huge flaws of procrastination, laziness and complete lack of organization, and that makes me a terrible worker!
Anyway though, The Meat and I finally left at 6:45 - we talked for a very long time. I first took the train to an art store and got the portfolio, then I took the train to near my old place and went first to a little clothing store and got some cheap tank tops and t-shirts, then I browsed in a couple little stores, and then I got a mystic tan, then waited forever for the bus to come and finally got home at little after 9 p.m. Then I looked through older pictures for a long time and ordered some other prints. And then I finally got off my ass and I painted my one wall red (actually it's called Tender Rose so it's red but with a slight pinkish tint - very cool!). But now I see why you need more than one coat of paint when painting a wall a dark color. And I ran out of paint before I could finish the second coat. It looks fabulous though!!!
Okay so now, I'll finish here and then quickly finish getting ready. Then I'm off to pick up my pictures and then to Home Depot for more Tender Rose paint, more roller covers, another paint pan, and paint for my bedroom which I still need to choose here - I'm going to run in and hold up swatches and make a decision and that will be the color of my room for now! And then I'll be painting for the rest of the day! And also cleaning and straightening up so Florida and Asparagus can see my place tomorrow!
Oh and I am really happy right now because I'm wearing a new shirt that is so sexy and it looks good! I'm so so so happy since I stopped drinking and lost weight! Not that I'm completely perfect, but I love not having to hide or look like a whale anymore! :)
Okay - I will post some pictures later! Oh - and I'm not going to proofread this because I need to get going, so please excuse spelling, grammar or other mistakes - I usually love being a fastidious editor so this is a big deal for me to post without checking it over!
Wednesday night:
I spent a long time on the internet looking for pretty fake flowers. I bought four of the prettiest and quaintest hanging flower holders from Pottery Barn - they look like they could be in an Italian villa and since I absolutely adore the Italian villa decor, I of course love these! So anyway, two are up in my living room and I need to have The German come over with his drill bits before my parents come to hang up the other two for me. Oh and The Meat gave me an extra drill of his, so now I have a drill!! But it doesn't come with the drill bits of course so I can't drill it myself. Although I told my mom all this so I think my dad will get me a package of drill bits for my birthday (which is on Monday! And I'll be (deep breath) 30!). Anyway though, I decided that I wanted some pretty fake gerber daisies or something that looked like it, so I was searching all over for that. And I ended up finding some that I really liked on eBay, although the seller is a little company so she/they sell lots of fake silk flowers and plants. I ordered both the yellow ones and the fushia ones, and each come with six bundles of seven flowers each - so that's alot of flowers! But that means I can put them all around my apartment to draw it all together!!! How exciting! I also ordered a long fake ivy plant. And the whole thing was only $90 for all that!
Okay so after that, I ordered a few things from Pottery Barn that I needed, including a new lamp shade to replace the very very very old one that broke in the move - and I'm glad it did because I wanted a new one anyway. And I also got myself this little remote control wood basket thing that was on sale, and I love it - remotes all over the coffee table look so messy. The stuff got delivered last night by the way! Hmmm, that was fast, so maybe I actually ordered this stuff on Tuesday night instead.
Oh and then I was also going through all my pictures from the last seven months that I have on my computer to find my best pieces of photography. This is soooooooooooooooooo exciting!!! The Bold One is trying to get it set that I'll be able to display a bunch of my pictures in a new nail salon that one of her clients is opening. I would provide the pictures in frames and all that, framed of course, but under each picture it would have a card with the name and also a price - so she would get free artwork, and I would get to have my photography displayed and possibly make a little money!!!! How exciting is this!!!! The Bold One is setting up a meeting sometime in the future, so I need to get a little portfolio made - hence the going through pictures. So yesterday I finally ordered A TON of pictures, and I'll be picking them up as soon as I finish this and leave. I ordered them all in 8x10 size for my portfolio and holy shit does this add up. Yes, I ordered about 50 pictures because last night I bought a portfolio book with slots for 48 pictures, and also I want to represent lots of different subject matters etc. But each 8x10 costs fucking $6! However, when I go to pick them up I'll pay the $16 fee to be a member for a year and they'll refund back to me the discount that members get. I'm hoping that it's substantial for these 8x10 prints, because holy shit is $6 absolutely ridiculously expense, when 5x7s cost 99 cents.
Oh and then before going to bed really really late at night, I put up blue painting tape through most of my apartment that still needs to be painted, until I ran out of tape.
Okay, now I'm to Thursday night:
I stayed late at work and went to The German's place at 7. We first changed into our swimsuits and went swimming in his pool - I love love love swimming in his pool! There's never anyone else in it, and it's warm and I just love seeing my hands gliding through the water out in front of me. They have these very cool lights just under the water so my hands look like they're gliding through aquamarine glowing water! But first, when I first walked in the door at The German's apartment, he grabbed me and hugged me very very tightly for over a minute and was kissing me throughout that time. Including with a little tongue. As a result, I was kind of incredibly horny so while we were in the pool we had a few makeout sessions, and a lot of physical contact, it was actually really hot. When we went back down to his place we had a pretty incredible sex session!
I know that he says he doesn't want to be married and have a home and family, and that might well be true. I'm giving this a couple months to see if anything develops more, because he really is changing and he also really adores me. But I'm really okay with it all, and if he isn't going to change I know I'll be just fine. I'm having fun right now and don't feel like meeting anyone new or dating anyway - I'm working on me and for the moment I'm very happy and content with my life just the way it is. So that's that - no pressure on me, and I'm just going with the natural flow right now. What will happen will happen.
Anyway, after swimming and sex, he cooked us up some wonderful pasta as well as the best appetizer EVER from Trader Joe's - this thing that looked just like a pizza and was similar but was very crusty and had ham, carmelized onions and grueyer (sp? I know it's wrong but don't feel like looking up the correct spelling) cheese. It was so fucking good! I'm going to get a couple of these for when my parents are here so I'll take a picture then! After eating we watched the first part of Das Boot - I had never seen the movie and as I found out from him, it was actually a miniseries in Germany and consisted of three parts of 1.5 hours each. When it was turned into a movie here in America, they just cut a ton out and made it one movie. So we watched the first of the three episodes - it was of course in German with English subtitles and I love listening to the German! After that I left but I didn't get home until 12:30 a.m. so was too tired to write.
Friday night:
I stayed late at work because The Meat and I were chatting and then I told him about a job that Violet just told me about at the City, and that caused me to start weeping so we chatted about all that, and about how I can get a new job and still maintain my friendships with everyone at my current job, and how I'll be just across the street, and how The Meat and I would just have to go get coffee most days then so we can have our chats then. And then because I was already crying I decided to tell him about my complete lack of confidence in myself professionally, and how I'm doubting my intelligence, and how I feel like I can't sell myself for any job because I'm feeling like I have hardly anything to actually offer - so he talked for a very long time while I cried and nodded. He helped me a little, but I still have all my issues. I think I just need to somehow deal with them myself, because I see that his building me up didn't really work. I don't really like the law, but also I feel like I don't have the mind for law. I don't think I'm good at it. I think differently somehow than I need to. And then there are all my huge flaws of procrastination, laziness and complete lack of organization, and that makes me a terrible worker!
Anyway though, The Meat and I finally left at 6:45 - we talked for a very long time. I first took the train to an art store and got the portfolio, then I took the train to near my old place and went first to a little clothing store and got some cheap tank tops and t-shirts, then I browsed in a couple little stores, and then I got a mystic tan, then waited forever for the bus to come and finally got home at little after 9 p.m. Then I looked through older pictures for a long time and ordered some other prints. And then I finally got off my ass and I painted my one wall red (actually it's called Tender Rose so it's red but with a slight pinkish tint - very cool!). But now I see why you need more than one coat of paint when painting a wall a dark color. And I ran out of paint before I could finish the second coat. It looks fabulous though!!!
Okay so now, I'll finish here and then quickly finish getting ready. Then I'm off to pick up my pictures and then to Home Depot for more Tender Rose paint, more roller covers, another paint pan, and paint for my bedroom which I still need to choose here - I'm going to run in and hold up swatches and make a decision and that will be the color of my room for now! And then I'll be painting for the rest of the day! And also cleaning and straightening up so Florida and Asparagus can see my place tomorrow!
Oh and I am really happy right now because I'm wearing a new shirt that is so sexy and it looks good! I'm so so so happy since I stopped drinking and lost weight! Not that I'm completely perfect, but I love not having to hide or look like a whale anymore! :)
Okay - I will post some pictures later! Oh - and I'm not going to proofread this because I need to get going, so please excuse spelling, grammar or other mistakes - I usually love being a fastidious editor so this is a big deal for me to post without checking it over!
