The new joy of saving, recap on Christmas, and some other stuff
So, my savings account is starting out with $1,000 in it - my Christmas present from my grandpa. And I'm going to try taking $100 a month out of my paycheck and putting that into savings as well. This way, if I get a chance to take a really cool vacation, I'll be able to!!! Or in a year, I can put part of it into an IRA and start actually being responsible and saving for retirement way down the road. I feel like I have taken such a huge step here!!! And I owe it all to The German and my mom for loaning me money to get out of the credit card hole of debt.
Now I'll expound just a bit on spending Christmas with the bitch. First of all, she was back to just being her spoiled self, but wasn't a bitch, so I don't hate her anymore and can tolerate her since my brother loves her. So, I'm going back to my old name for her, TSIL (The Sister-in-Law - I'm soooooo creative!!). And a few times, she actually got talking to my mom which made me happy, since she had COMPLETELY ignored my mom in the six months up to the wedding and refused to even look her direction. Also, their visit ended on a really good note - the most fun the five of us have all had together ever. At the airport on Monday night, we had an hour to kill before my brother and TSIL had to leave for their gate, so they sat at a table with my parents and I and TSIL pulled a card game out of her bag, and we all had the greatest time playing! It was wonderful fun! And even more wonderful because now it can be a bit of a tradition to bring us together - all of us playing cards together. I actually gave her a real hug when she left! Which is SHOCKING, considering how strongly I felt before!
Also, after my crying-and-feeling-sorry-for-myself-fest on Christmas Eve, things got so much better. My brother didn't talk about the house and work and this and that so much more. And instead we had fun together. And they loved my present to them, and I loved their present to me as well - an hour-long massage at a nearby spa!!! Seriously, it's one of the best gifts, cause I've never had a (professional) massage before, even though I promise myself every few months that I'll actually spend the money and get one - since after all, it's so healthy both mentally and physically!
I also spent good time with each of my grandparents, first on Christmas, and then I spent two hours with my grandpa on Monday night talking, and on Tuesday morning I picked my grandma up and spent another hour with her at our house before my parents were ready to leave (she babysits their cats when they're gone).
The one area that I wish had been better was with my dad. For a lot of the holiday weekend, I felt as if he so much preferred my brother, and at certain times it got me really down. And I still feel the sadness, but I felt a little better on the drive back to Chicago and having my dad stay at my place, and the last image of my dad in my mind is him saying bye to me at my door, with a look of such love on his face. So I'm really trying to concentrate on that instead of on the sad stuff.
My mom, of course, was and is just wonderful in every way possible! She always goes so out of her way to make Christmas special for each and every one of us. And everything we do is such tradition to us, and I don't want it to change. My brother mentioned something about what he'll make for dinner "when [he and TSIL] host Thanksgiving or another holiday," and that bothered me. Because why does he have to start thinking about that already! And I don't want things to change! I want us all to go to my parents' house! That's where we belong at holidays! And what happens when I get married - how do we share my parents? Do they have to go to one of our places? Or do we go to their place still? Do we organize it so my brother and I are with my parents on the same year, so we're all together, or do we take every other year? But if we do it on the same year, then what do my parents do on the off year? Cause I don't want them to be alone. And then, what if I never find a love and get married, and I'm just the outsider following my parents to my brother's house? All of these thoughts and worries!!! And I know I shouldn't be concentrating on them, because it does me no good. So I won't, starting now, because I've gotten them out of my head and onto the blog instead!!!
It's such a slooooooooow day at work. Nothing is happening. And on one hand, I'm completely fine with it, cause I have no problem being lazy and finding fun things to do on the computer (or occupying myself with clipping split ends for long periods of time). But on the other hand, it's pretty boring! I miss the fun and excitement here! I miss The Meat being here! And The Queen!
And I also can't believe that it's almost 2006! Even though I enjoy each day, it seems like just a tiny while ago that I was sitting on my parents' couch on January 31, 1999 (I had just realized I had depression, so stayed at my parents' house longer that year), watching television all afternoon and evening as it turned to the year 2000 in every different part of the world, and feeling such a kinship with all humans because for once, we were all celebrating the exact same thing, no matter our color or religion or country of origin. It was just beautiful! And I'll end on that happy note!
