Quick update, cause I'm sleepy!
It's only 10:30 and I can't stop yawning! That's so good!!! I'll go to sleep early and be able to sleep in a little tomorrow but not sleep the day away.
This is my third night of not having a drop of alcohol! I'm still not having cravings. A couple tiny twinges but not nearly enough to be called cravings and anyway, I pushed them out of my head. Last night I emailed a few friends to let them know what's going on, and their responses and support have made me feel so happy, so lucky, so just...I don't know, lots of things. I got teary-eyed a few times reading their responses, just so thankful for having my friends!
And tonight after work I took the L and bus to The Italian Chef's, and turned down a beer when she took it out of the frige. After a little while, Florida and Asparagus came over, and we all feasted on TIC's wonderful homemade pizza. It was a quiet night. TIC was so tired and falling asleep on the couch after we ate. And Florida and I kept yawning. So we all chatted for awhile, intermittently watching a little TV, and then Florida and Asparagus and I left a little before 9:30.
I talked to Florida and Asparagus in the car a little about my alcoholism and plans to stop. Asparagus wants to me put me on a program, going to the gym like he does at 5 am! It sounds good and would make me very, very, very disciplined, but I don't know if that would be possible for me. I'm a night person and so not a morning person! But I do want to get back into a workout routine. And start going to bed much earlier at night. I need plans and schedules, that helps me so much. So we'll see. But so far, I've been so tired the last couple nights. And getting sleepy so early. So first, I'm just going to get my sleep and work on getting to bed earlier and at about the same time every night.
It's my mom's birthday today, and I talked to her in the morning but also called her at 10 tonight and got off just before I started writing this. As a birthday present of sorts, I told her about my decision to stop drinking, get help, and that I've been telling people. She was so happy! And just relieved. So I'm glad I could give her that on her birthday, to take a little stress and worrying about me away.
Tonight in the car, Florida told me that she wasn't really shocked by my admission and that she and Asparagus had had their suspicions. No one else has said that yet, so I was a little shocked, even though I guess I shouldn't be. But I'm wondering if it's because of my reports of drinking in this blog, or my missing work when Florida worked with me, or what else. I'll email her tomorrow and ask her, cause I'm curious. But I was too taken aback to ask her tonight, and also I'm still not completely at ease talking about it all in person. I feel that I smooth over it a little or make it sound more simplistic than it really is. But maybe it really is simple and I've been overthinking it all these months that I've been knowing I need to stop and wanting to but not making the definitive decision. Oh I don't know, and I'm overanalyzing right now!
My plan for tomorrow: sleep in until 9, then up and make coffee and eat oatmeal for breakfast and drink a lot of water, and get dressed for my walk. Then by 10:30 (cause I like to be slooooow in the morning) I'll leave to walk, and I'd like to do my 8-mile walk - to the top of the lakeshore path and back again. And then, I'll come back here, shower, eat some lunch, and get my stuff all laid out to finish this effing opinion (I'm so totally determined to do this on Saturday so I won't procrastinate until Sunday, and also, I get the alcohol cravings when I don't want to do something. So I am determined, and will sit down and just start it so I'll get it done and not have to keep procrastinating. Hmmm, and then, I have nothing else planned. I'm close to being done with my current book (Villa Incognito by Tom Robbins) and after that I'll want to start my new book (A Million Little Pieces by James Frey - about a guy in rehab for alcoholism and drug addiction - supposed to be so raw and amazing). I'll call some people who I haven't talked to in awhile. Okay, I have a plan of sorts!
The Fat Project Update:
Thursday, September 29
Yogurt for breakfast
1 cup coffee w/ creamer
Ham sandwich for lunch
Yogurt for snack
Lots of water at work
Macaroni and cheese for dinner - yes, so so so bad. Apparently I had a different craving last night.
Lots of water
Bedtime tea
Friday, September 30
Roast beef sandwich for breakfast
Roast beef sandwich for afternoon snack
1 cup coffee w/ creamer
4 pieces of TIC's homemade pizza
A couple more cups water
And I'm going to go make some bedtime tea as soon as I post this.
Okay, it's a little after 11 now. I'd wanted to be asleep by now, but I also want to read just a little in bed while I drink my tea. But I had to call my mom, and I had to write this! I'm so proud of myself right now. I don't really remember the last time I have gone for three consecutive nights without drinking. And also, Friday was often a night when I'd get myself two bottles of wine cause I knew I could get completely trashed since I could sleep the next day. So this is a wonderful start!!!
This is my third night of not having a drop of alcohol! I'm still not having cravings. A couple tiny twinges but not nearly enough to be called cravings and anyway, I pushed them out of my head. Last night I emailed a few friends to let them know what's going on, and their responses and support have made me feel so happy, so lucky, so just...I don't know, lots of things. I got teary-eyed a few times reading their responses, just so thankful for having my friends!
And tonight after work I took the L and bus to The Italian Chef's, and turned down a beer when she took it out of the frige. After a little while, Florida and Asparagus came over, and we all feasted on TIC's wonderful homemade pizza. It was a quiet night. TIC was so tired and falling asleep on the couch after we ate. And Florida and I kept yawning. So we all chatted for awhile, intermittently watching a little TV, and then Florida and Asparagus and I left a little before 9:30.
I talked to Florida and Asparagus in the car a little about my alcoholism and plans to stop. Asparagus wants to me put me on a program, going to the gym like he does at 5 am! It sounds good and would make me very, very, very disciplined, but I don't know if that would be possible for me. I'm a night person and so not a morning person! But I do want to get back into a workout routine. And start going to bed much earlier at night. I need plans and schedules, that helps me so much. So we'll see. But so far, I've been so tired the last couple nights. And getting sleepy so early. So first, I'm just going to get my sleep and work on getting to bed earlier and at about the same time every night.
It's my mom's birthday today, and I talked to her in the morning but also called her at 10 tonight and got off just before I started writing this. As a birthday present of sorts, I told her about my decision to stop drinking, get help, and that I've been telling people. She was so happy! And just relieved. So I'm glad I could give her that on her birthday, to take a little stress and worrying about me away.
Tonight in the car, Florida told me that she wasn't really shocked by my admission and that she and Asparagus had had their suspicions. No one else has said that yet, so I was a little shocked, even though I guess I shouldn't be. But I'm wondering if it's because of my reports of drinking in this blog, or my missing work when Florida worked with me, or what else. I'll email her tomorrow and ask her, cause I'm curious. But I was too taken aback to ask her tonight, and also I'm still not completely at ease talking about it all in person. I feel that I smooth over it a little or make it sound more simplistic than it really is. But maybe it really is simple and I've been overthinking it all these months that I've been knowing I need to stop and wanting to but not making the definitive decision. Oh I don't know, and I'm overanalyzing right now!
My plan for tomorrow: sleep in until 9, then up and make coffee and eat oatmeal for breakfast and drink a lot of water, and get dressed for my walk. Then by 10:30 (cause I like to be slooooow in the morning) I'll leave to walk, and I'd like to do my 8-mile walk - to the top of the lakeshore path and back again. And then, I'll come back here, shower, eat some lunch, and get my stuff all laid out to finish this effing opinion (I'm so totally determined to do this on Saturday so I won't procrastinate until Sunday, and also, I get the alcohol cravings when I don't want to do something. So I am determined, and will sit down and just start it so I'll get it done and not have to keep procrastinating. Hmmm, and then, I have nothing else planned. I'm close to being done with my current book (Villa Incognito by Tom Robbins) and after that I'll want to start my new book (A Million Little Pieces by James Frey - about a guy in rehab for alcoholism and drug addiction - supposed to be so raw and amazing). I'll call some people who I haven't talked to in awhile. Okay, I have a plan of sorts!
The Fat Project Update:
Thursday, September 29
Yogurt for breakfast
1 cup coffee w/ creamer
Ham sandwich for lunch
Yogurt for snack
Lots of water at work
Macaroni and cheese for dinner - yes, so so so bad. Apparently I had a different craving last night.
Lots of water
Bedtime tea
Friday, September 30
Roast beef sandwich for breakfast
Roast beef sandwich for afternoon snack
1 cup coffee w/ creamer
4 pieces of TIC's homemade pizza
A couple more cups water
And I'm going to go make some bedtime tea as soon as I post this.
Okay, it's a little after 11 now. I'd wanted to be asleep by now, but I also want to read just a little in bed while I drink my tea. But I had to call my mom, and I had to write this! I'm so proud of myself right now. I don't really remember the last time I have gone for three consecutive nights without drinking. And also, Friday was often a night when I'd get myself two bottles of wine cause I knew I could get completely trashed since I could sleep the next day. So this is a wonderful start!!!
