The Fat Project revised AND how this little blog of mine is becoming the story of a girl being somewhat psychotic and very neurotic...
First, I again give credit for the name "The Fat Project" to I am, Therefore I Date. I've been pretty good, all things considered, with eating well and exercising during the last month. Well more so during the past two weeks. I looked at pictures from our little family get-together at my parent's cottage a few weekends ago and it spurred me into action. So in an effort at 1) keeping track and 2) hopefully keeping me from doing bad things because I'll have to write it down - I'm going to, yes, start keeping a Bridget Jones-type log of my food, alcohol and exercise!!! Starting with yesterday. So, for yesterday and today here's how I stand:
Sunday, July 24
Food:
2 cups coffee with half & half
bowl of cheerios (my favorite!) with milk
english muffin w/ butter
3 scrambled eggs
english muffin w/ butter
Propel water during walk
Alcohol:
None!
Exercise:
About 4 miles walk in the scorching, oppressive, terrible heat
Monday, July 25
Food:
3 cups coffee
yogurt
chef's salad for lunch - with cheese, chicken, some lettuce, and Italian dressing
ginger tea
20 fl. oz. Gatorade during exercise
english muffin w/ peanut butter
Alcohol:
None! It's actually been 3 full days now w/ nothing to drink
Exercise:
50 minutes treadmill, weight machines for 40 minutes
After I worked out today, I had to return a couple things to Nordstrom (or is it Nordstroms?) for my mom, and I saw some cute little clothes that would look terrible on me now, but I vowed that by next summer, I'll be back to my svelte self of a few years ago and feeling fantastic about myself!!! So that's that!
I got to work this morning at 9:25 - I'm so proud of myself when I get there before 9:30! And I told everyone that I'm in love with Florida Girl's roommate! I mean, not in love yet, but I like him a lot, and obviously am excited about it! And I even had to call Florida Girl at her new job to talk about him. Then, I didn't get an email from him all day. And when I finished working out and my phone could get a signal again, there was no message from him. And when I finished at Nordstrom and was on the bus and it was 8:20 and I hadn't gotten a call I was bothered. I spent the whole bus ride home thinking first that of course he's still at work, he's really busy now, and second - my whole happiness cannot depend on whether I get an email and/or call from this man, or any man. But it does matter in the beginning, at least now. I can't make myself just not think about it. But I wish I wouldn't be so bothered by it so that it consumes me and determines my whole underlying mood. I'm quite sure that guys don't analyze every little thing the way that I and some girls do. Or maybe I'm wrong and there are some guys who do. I don't like to generalize!
Warsteiner finally called about 10 minutes after I got home. How terrible, I say "finally" like he was in the wrong! I don't mean it that way. He was on the road, and there was so much lightning that he had been almost scared to go to his car, cause it was actually hitting the ground! I could see it out my window as well. We chatted for awhile about work and our days and stuff then he had to get off cause it was starting to rain. He was listening to the Cubs game on the radio in the car so I turned it on here. He called me when he got home, right at the end of the bottom of the 9th (Firecracker and The Single Guy, you better be proud of me for all this!) when the Cubs won! Anyway, Warsteiner and I made plans to go out tomorrow, he said Wednesday is too far away and would be too long since we'd last gone out. I like that! So tomorrow night we're going to dinner and definitely some action as well!
Oh that reminds me of yet ANOTHER one of my many neuroses and issues! When Warsteiner came over yesterday, for the 40 minutes or so that he was here, after he greeted James and Emma, we spent the next 30 minutes kissing and getting frisky, and then a little cuddling and then he had to run. And I was so happy that I got to see him but then I worried that maybe it was a sex thing now. Maybe he just wanted someone to hook up with every once in awhile. These were my little stupid thoughts anyway. Yet, if he had come over and we'd have just talked and hung out, I'd have worried that he didn't want me. Yes, I know. Anyway, I'm so happy that he wants to see me tomorrow! And for both my company and because he's attracted to me!!!
I talked to The Bold One tonight and I told her all my insane little issues and worries and with regard to my number one worry right now - that he's not ready for a commitment since that's why it supposedly ended with the girl in his building, and that was maybe a year ago or something like that I think. I want to know that there's at least the chance of this going somewhere. I'll have to expound on my last relationship to further explain my hesitation. Anyway, The Bold One said that what it really means is that he didn't want to commit to HER. And I know that's true. I think I'VE even said I'm not ready for a commitment when I wan't into someone. But, again my last boyfriend - The German. Before me had dated a girl for 4 years, and when I asked why they broke up he said he didn't want the kind of commitment that she did, that he didn't want to move in together and she wasn't going to wait around. He said he didn't know whether he was ready to make a commitment like that. And also he didn't know whether he ever wanted to get married or ever wanted to have children. In my mind, I heard that he didn't want to live with, marry, or have children WITH HER. But with me it would be different! Of course! After dating 8 months and with me so completely in love, he realized that he still felt the same, and that he really didn't ever have any desire to get married or have children. And thankfully, he didn't want to drag me on for 4 years so he broke my heart. Completely unexpectedly. 4 hours earlier we had been talking about me meeting him in Costa Rica for 10 days during his month-long vacation. My mom had even booked the tickets for me with her frequent flyer miles. And then he came back and dropped the bomb. My heart hurt, my whole self hurt. We're friends now but it took me A VERY LONG TIME to be able to stop loving him or comparing every other guy to him.
So, long story short, I don't want to start something with Warsteiner if he doesn't want to commit to anyone. But then again, I guess whenever you start dating someone it's somewhat of a crap shoot as to whether you'll want to commit to each other. Oh I don't know! Sometimes I just confuse myself with all the stupid worries and thoughts running around in my head! This little blog of mine is becoming the story of a girl being somewhat psychotic and very neurotic in the beginning of a relationship - oh I like that! I'm going to add that little bit to the title of this entry!!! Oh damn, it won't all fit!
Sunday, July 24
Food:
2 cups coffee with half & half
bowl of cheerios (my favorite!) with milk
english muffin w/ butter
3 scrambled eggs
english muffin w/ butter
Propel water during walk
Alcohol:
None!
Exercise:
About 4 miles walk in the scorching, oppressive, terrible heat
Monday, July 25
Food:
3 cups coffee
yogurt
chef's salad for lunch - with cheese, chicken, some lettuce, and Italian dressing
ginger tea
20 fl. oz. Gatorade during exercise
english muffin w/ peanut butter
Alcohol:
None! It's actually been 3 full days now w/ nothing to drink
Exercise:
50 minutes treadmill, weight machines for 40 minutes
After I worked out today, I had to return a couple things to Nordstrom (or is it Nordstroms?) for my mom, and I saw some cute little clothes that would look terrible on me now, but I vowed that by next summer, I'll be back to my svelte self of a few years ago and feeling fantastic about myself!!! So that's that!
I got to work this morning at 9:25 - I'm so proud of myself when I get there before 9:30! And I told everyone that I'm in love with Florida Girl's roommate! I mean, not in love yet, but I like him a lot, and obviously am excited about it! And I even had to call Florida Girl at her new job to talk about him. Then, I didn't get an email from him all day. And when I finished working out and my phone could get a signal again, there was no message from him. And when I finished at Nordstrom and was on the bus and it was 8:20 and I hadn't gotten a call I was bothered. I spent the whole bus ride home thinking first that of course he's still at work, he's really busy now, and second - my whole happiness cannot depend on whether I get an email and/or call from this man, or any man. But it does matter in the beginning, at least now. I can't make myself just not think about it. But I wish I wouldn't be so bothered by it so that it consumes me and determines my whole underlying mood. I'm quite sure that guys don't analyze every little thing the way that I and some girls do. Or maybe I'm wrong and there are some guys who do. I don't like to generalize!
Warsteiner finally called about 10 minutes after I got home. How terrible, I say "finally" like he was in the wrong! I don't mean it that way. He was on the road, and there was so much lightning that he had been almost scared to go to his car, cause it was actually hitting the ground! I could see it out my window as well. We chatted for awhile about work and our days and stuff then he had to get off cause it was starting to rain. He was listening to the Cubs game on the radio in the car so I turned it on here. He called me when he got home, right at the end of the bottom of the 9th (Firecracker and The Single Guy, you better be proud of me for all this!) when the Cubs won! Anyway, Warsteiner and I made plans to go out tomorrow, he said Wednesday is too far away and would be too long since we'd last gone out. I like that! So tomorrow night we're going to dinner and definitely some action as well!
Oh that reminds me of yet ANOTHER one of my many neuroses and issues! When Warsteiner came over yesterday, for the 40 minutes or so that he was here, after he greeted James and Emma, we spent the next 30 minutes kissing and getting frisky, and then a little cuddling and then he had to run. And I was so happy that I got to see him but then I worried that maybe it was a sex thing now. Maybe he just wanted someone to hook up with every once in awhile. These were my little stupid thoughts anyway. Yet, if he had come over and we'd have just talked and hung out, I'd have worried that he didn't want me. Yes, I know. Anyway, I'm so happy that he wants to see me tomorrow! And for both my company and because he's attracted to me!!!
I talked to The Bold One tonight and I told her all my insane little issues and worries and with regard to my number one worry right now - that he's not ready for a commitment since that's why it supposedly ended with the girl in his building, and that was maybe a year ago or something like that I think. I want to know that there's at least the chance of this going somewhere. I'll have to expound on my last relationship to further explain my hesitation. Anyway, The Bold One said that what it really means is that he didn't want to commit to HER. And I know that's true. I think I'VE even said I'm not ready for a commitment when I wan't into someone. But, again my last boyfriend - The German. Before me had dated a girl for 4 years, and when I asked why they broke up he said he didn't want the kind of commitment that she did, that he didn't want to move in together and she wasn't going to wait around. He said he didn't know whether he was ready to make a commitment like that. And also he didn't know whether he ever wanted to get married or ever wanted to have children. In my mind, I heard that he didn't want to live with, marry, or have children WITH HER. But with me it would be different! Of course! After dating 8 months and with me so completely in love, he realized that he still felt the same, and that he really didn't ever have any desire to get married or have children. And thankfully, he didn't want to drag me on for 4 years so he broke my heart. Completely unexpectedly. 4 hours earlier we had been talking about me meeting him in Costa Rica for 10 days during his month-long vacation. My mom had even booked the tickets for me with her frequent flyer miles. And then he came back and dropped the bomb. My heart hurt, my whole self hurt. We're friends now but it took me A VERY LONG TIME to be able to stop loving him or comparing every other guy to him.
So, long story short, I don't want to start something with Warsteiner if he doesn't want to commit to anyone. But then again, I guess whenever you start dating someone it's somewhat of a crap shoot as to whether you'll want to commit to each other. Oh I don't know! Sometimes I just confuse myself with all the stupid worries and thoughts running around in my head! This little blog of mine is becoming the story of a girl being somewhat psychotic and very neurotic in the beginning of a relationship - oh I like that! I'm going to add that little bit to the title of this entry!!! Oh damn, it won't all fit!
