Thursday, August 04, 2005

RENT coming in November - yay!!! And other good thoughts! And more on poop as well!

First, in regard to Stacey's question, I haven't heard anything yet about the job. But it is government and they can sometimes move a little slower. Courtney has to make his choice and then send that to the head guy in DC, who then notifies HR in Pennsylvania, and then they will call whoever got the job to make the offer. Sometimes I feel confident, but sometimes I over-analyze everything that went on in the interview. And I don't know who those other four people are, that's what I most worry about! Hopefully at least one of my spies can find something out next week as to whether a selection has been made, etc. And of course - please, please, please let it be me!!!!

This morning on the Today show they had the cast of the new movie Rent, out in November. I can't wait! I may actually want to see that on the first day out!!! I know the entire soundtrack by heart because I've listened to it so many times, hundreds of times. And what's great is that I think all but two members of the original broadway cast are back, which is of course good because I don't like when you're used to hearing songs sung one way and with one voice, and then suddenly it's changed.

The first time I saw Rent was in London, in 1999, on the last night of my seven week study abroad. I studied based in Innsbruck, Austria, and over the course of the various long weekends visited Salzburg, Munich, Budapest, Vienna, Venice, Florence, Capri, Geneva, Barcelona, Paris, and I finally ended up in London for four days. The trip was life-changing, eye-opening. It was the first time I'd done anything like that by myself. And I grew so much in those seven weeks, and discovered things about myself, and learned so many things and experienced so many things. So, my last night in London, one of the people I met through the study abroad program and I went to see Rent. I had heard of it but knew hardly anything about it. I was also so depressed, seriously sad, that I had to go back to the US the next day and back to law school and that all of the amazing times were behind me. I was disillusioned with America a little as well. I can still feel my feelings as I talk about this.

Well anyway, watching Rent that first time was amazing. The music was amazing, the message was perfect. When, at the end, they were singing, "Living in America, at the end of the millenium...you're what you own..." I was ready to cry. I didn't want to go back to Chicago, I didn't want to go to stupid law school. I just wanted to stay in Europe, to live like Hemmingway and experience real life! As the curtain fell at the end of the show, I had tears in my eyes, I stood and applauded, I wanted to just stay there and tell the cast how much they affected me! And then I went and used some of my tiny amount of money that I had left to buy the CD soundtrack. And whenever I listen to the soundtrack, it puts me in a mood. I get really into it. Just like when I listen to the Les Miserables soundtrack, by the end I'm crying, depressed, and don't want to talk to anyone. Also when I listen to Rent, it's like I'm back in 1999 and I feel the excitement of Europe and of all my discoveries, and also the sadness of having to go back home.

I saw Rent one other time, about a year ago here in Chicago. It was good but we had seats up pretty high, and I didn't think the cast was as good as the cast in London had been. I liked listening to the soundtrack better.

So I am so excited for the movie to come out!!! All the amazing songs, and with so many of the original actors, and the wonder of movies. It will be so good, and so touching, and I know I'll cry. I want to go on the first night cause there will be all the others who love it so much, too! The musical and soon to be movie also have such a good lesson - that life can be short, and we have to make the most of it by doing what love and loving those around us, and going after our dreams, and not being afraid to take chances. It's something I wish that I lived by more, but I also try to always keep it in mind. Which reminds me - I haven't been doing good at all with my daily quotes! Today you get two of them, both quotes that I read in Parade magazine in the middle of articles on these two movie stars. And both of these quotes are along the same lines of the theme that Rent propounds.

Quotes of the Day

Life is so short. Every year just whizzes by, and I keep having to remind myself not to worry and to go out and do whatever I want. Stay up late, go to that movie, eat that cheeseburger, go on that trip - because that's all that matters. That's what you're going to remember, not sitting around fucking moping and questioning stuff all the time. But that's so hard to live by, isn't it? - Liv Tyler

We each have only a limited amount of time here. We have to do more with it - pay attention, explore, be open to all of life. Because we only have one chance, we have to make life seem longer than it really is. - Viggo Mortensen

I typed out those quotes and tons of other that I collected over the years, mostly from daily calendars, put them in text boxes with different fonts, and have them in my bathroom framed. I have 3 8x10 sheets of my quotes in there, and so I get to read them all the time to keep them fresh in my mind. To always remind myself what's important!

I'm taking off from work in ten minutes so I can get home in plenty of time to get James all ready for his little vet appointment. Last night I was thinking that maybe he was better. There wasn't tons of diarrhea in the litter pan and he didn't have poopy butt. I was SO proved wrong this morning! I noticed that the bathroom smelled absolutely terrible. I thought it was my old coffee sitting in there - and the milk was curdling a little in the middle of the coffee - sorry for being gross! So I took that in the kitchen and dumped it out but when I went back in the bathroom the smell was still there - and it was TERRIBLE! One of the worst smells I'd ever smelled. And so strong! Finally when I went to turn on the shower I found 3 big spots of diarrhea in the tub. Two were dried and one was relatively fresh. It took me 20 minutes to fully clean it all off, and the smell was there for most of it. I kept spraying 409 cause I figured any smell was better than the poopy smell! But I tried to most of the time just breath through my mouth. Well, hopefully little James went more diarrhea in the tub today because I have to bring a stool sample, and it's very easy to get it from the tub as opposed to searching around in the litter pan!

Tonight I'll be fighting with him to take his first pill! At least I cut both his and Emma's claws a couple days ago, in anticipation of the little fight! Oh, and I'll get to see how much James weighs now! He's very heavy, but because he's built like a linebacker. He's all muscle! And so beautiful! Emma will be smelling him like crazy when he gets back, I'm sure!

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

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Written by Caterpillar :: 8/04/2005 04:34:00 PM :: ::


About Me

Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly :: Anonymous

There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it's going to be a butterfly :: Buckminster Fuller



Name::Caterpillar
From::Chicago, United States

I'm a 30-year-old sometimes girl and sometimes woman living in Chicago. Over the past year I have faced my biggest demon and won, and as a result I have hope again for wonderful and fabulous things to happen! I'm still learning, growing and always trying to improve myself, but I absolutely love life and think I'm very close to becoming a real butterfly!!!
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How I Feel

"I am two women: one wants to have all the joy, passion and adventure that life can give me. The other wants to be a slave to routine, to family life, to the things that can be planned and achieved."

"Desire is an entirely free sensation, loose in the air, vibrating, filling life with the will to have something..."

- Eleven Minutes by Paulo Coelho

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In Loving Memory

Appreciate Yourself

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Quotes That Touch and Inspire Me

♥ I think that the most beautiful women I've ever met are the ones that know who they are, have stories to tell, ideas to share, wisdom to impart and love the skin they're in. No one can love us as we love ourselves. No one can take away our beauty and our dignity when we own those things. To me confident=beautiful. :: CeeCi

♥ I'd been feeling a little blue (for no particular reason) when I began thinking about things like attention, age and body image. Suddenly, it washed over me. I see people looking at me and I see them reacting. I began thinking about the times I notice the attention and realized its the days I'm strutting, the days I'm open and holding my head up. This got me to thinking further. How I perceive myself is what I show to others...People don't realize it, but they show the world everything about themselves in the way they move and act, in the words they say and the way they say them. A little confidence can lead to a lot of confidence. :: CeeCi

♥ When we believe in ourselves the world is an entirely different place and our place in it feels right and happy and healthy. :: CeeCi

♥ Remember that something incredibly wonderful is always possible!

♥ There are moments that are wonderful, if you let them be.

♥ Being distrustful put me in a very lonely place, a place filled with doubt and hypervigilance. I'm grateful I've learned to trust again, because in learning to do it, I learned to trust myself. :: CeeCi

♥ We're all a work in progress. I believe we will be until the day our lives end. Why fight it? I love the changes I experience. Some are certainly easier and more enjoyable than others, yet I wouldn't stop the process for any thing in the world. :: CeeCi

♥ We may run, walk, stumble, drive, or fly, but let us never lose sight of the reason for the journey, or miss the chance to see a rainbow on the way :: Gloria Gaither

♥ Happiness comes of the capacity to feel deeply, to enjoy simply, to think freely, to risk life, to be needed :: Storm Jameson

♥ Love is everything. It is the reason we are here, and the wonder we take with us wherever we go.

♥ Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow :: Mary Anne Radmacher

♥ Just live in the moment, the moment you're in. Don't live two days from now. Don't live two hours in advance. Live now. And appreciate what you have now. Don't go any further. You have this moment. This second. Breathe it. Enjoy it. Live in it. :: Open Eyes

♥ Leap, and the net will appear.

♥ I've learnt that when we express our deepest feelings, even though we may stammer or be unable to find the right words, it always pays. It pays to be authentic.

♥ There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year's course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness :: Carl Jung

♥ I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge, myth is more potent than history, dreams are more powerful than facts, hope always triumphs over experience, laughter is the cure for grief, love is stronger than death :: Robert Fulghum

♥ You must learn day by day, year by year, to broaden your horizon. The more things you love, the more you are interested in, the more you enjoy, the more you are indignant about, the more you have left when anything happens. :: Ethel Barrymore

♥ Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. :: Carl Jung

♥ I will try to be as honest as I can with myself. That is all that is required of me. I'll keep admitting and opening my hidden box of fears, hurts and insecurities, again and again, until I know each one of them by their first name. :: Anu

♥ It struck me that there is amazing beauty everywhere. Does it matter where you are or who we're encountering? There is magic all around us. The fact that we're alive, the fact that we're living in this place and time. The fact that we've met the people we've met, all of it, every bit of it, only contributes to the wonder that is life. :: CeeCi

♥ No pessimist ever discovered the secrets of the starts, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new heaven to the human spirit. :: Helen Keller

♥ Half of doing anything is believing that you can.

♥ Often God has to shut a door in our face, so that he can subsequently open the door through which he wants us to go. :: Catherine Marshall

♥ Even if it burns a little low at times, the secret of life is to always keep the flame of hope alive.

♥ The three grand essentials of happiness are something to do, someone to love, and something to hope for.

♥ Some people will say that you are going the wrong way, when it is simply a way of your own.

♥ Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. Great dancers are not great because of their technique, they are great because of their passion. :: Martha Graham

♥ Life is a series of new beginnings, and in every ordinary moment there are a thousand miracles to behold.

♥ Don't let the approval of others determine your belief in yourself.

♥ When it's all said and done, when all the opinions have been uttered, preached, shouted, and shared, there is only one thing we can do: From this moment on...love.

♥ When you're stuck in a spiral, to change all aspects of the spin you need only to change one thing. :: Christina Baldwin

♥ You have to look for the joy. Look for the light of God that is hitting your life, and you will find sparkles you didn't know were there.

♥ Be the change you wish to see in the world... :: Gandhi

♥ Life is not about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.

♥ We each have only a limited amount of time here. We have to do more with it - pay attention, explore, be open to all of life. Because we have only one chance, we have to make life seem longer than it really is. :: Viggo Mortensen

♥ Risk more than others think is safe. Care more than others think is wise. Dream more than others think is practical. Expect more than others think is possible. :: Cadet Maxim

♥ Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore! Dream! Discover!

♥ What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail? :: Unknown

♥ To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides. :: David Viscott, M.D

♥ Right now it feels like:...no dream will ever remain unfulfilled...no desire will ever remain unanswered...no tear goes unnoticed and no effort wasted...the hills are alive and so are we...each moment is fresh and waiting to happen...and there will be garbage like situations all around...but it is upto us to light mud lamps in it...and glow in our own acceptance and appreciations... :: Anu

♥ I struggle with not feeling like I'm good enough at times. Usually, its because I'm pushing it too hard and have depleted my reserve. Yet, I know without a shadow of a doubt that no matter how heavy or thin, how young or old I appear to others it's what I feel on the inside that glows through. If I could give every person on this planet just one gift it would be the unwavering knowledge that they are beautiful and worthy of every good thing the universe holds. :: CeeCi

♥ It's easier to buy into the negative things we conjure about ourselves than the positive things. Knowing that is the first step towards changing the thoughts that keep us unhappy. With time moving forward, why stay trapped in the past? All we have is right here and right now, I intend to make the most of it! :: CeeCi