The reason for my long absence

I swear, I'm alive and doing very well! Last Wednesday night my computer, after me using it for awhile, went to THE DEATHLY BLUE SCREEN and wouldn't reboot. Luckily, God was seriously watching over me, because when I got home on Thursday night, the computer turned back on and stayed on for a good three hours while I copied all my pictures off and onto 13 CDs. And then I started going through all my music files and was going to update my iPod and figure out how to use the iPod as a hard drive, and then THE DREADED BLUE SCREEN reappeared for a second and it again went into the loop of not rebooting and trying to over and over again. Friday night I was hoping that the computer would act as it had on Thursday and work for awhile, but all weekend it wouldn't turn on again. Oh was I pissed!!!!!!! I have to take it into Best Buy and it's probably going to be sent away for a couple weeks. So anyway, that's why there has been not even a peep from me since Wednesday. And of course, I had all this stuff that I wanted to write about!! Oh - and of course I couldn't go to an internet cafe because I had no money. I had $1.75 in change which I used for the bus this morning, and I have 90 cents left after that. I'm walking home tonight though, so it will be okay. And my mom's check for $50 should definitely get to me today since it didn't come on Saturday.

The EVIL computer

We are also on trial today, so we had our break between noon and 1 pm, and it's 12:45 now, so I don't have much time. Hopefully we'll end by 4:15 or 4:30 today so I can have a bit of time before I have to leave. But as I said, I'm walking home, and also, I'm going to an AA meeting at 6:45 - my first one, first attempt to see how it is. And that's another story, cause last Thursday afternoon I had the appointment with the psychiatrist and he was just wonderful. I loved him so much! I'm going back in three weeks for a follow-up, and he gave me a month's worth of meds that will get rid of my cravings for alcohol and also bring my brain chemistry or receptors back to normal levels and all so that I don't feel the need for alcohol and all that. He explained it to me in lay-man's terms, and each time I try to tell someone, I think I get further and further from what he told me! He also convinced me to try AA for a little while. I told him what my reservations were and about my preconceptions and he addressed them all.

After I left, I was walking down the street, my iPod playing, and a skip in my step. I felt so empowered!!! Like I could and can do anything!!! And it's the most fabulous feeling, because I am taking this incredibly huge step to make my life so so so much better!!! Even a month ago, I couldn't IMAGINE my life without drinking alcohol. Since I made my resolution to stop drinking on September 27, I have slipped twice. Once on October 4, and once on October 9. But since then I have had nothing at all. And not even wanted to. I'm on the fourth day of the meds - Campral - and it takes five days for them to fully build up in my system, but whether it's partly the meds and partly my optimism, it's working!!! And I'm so happy!!!!

Okay, I have six minutes left. Last Thursday I had lunch with Violet, and she and Uganda had gone to LA the past weekend and brought me back two wonderful presents!!! From the Hustler store!!! I love that she thought of me when wondering who she could buy a present for at Hustler!!! Uganda picked out the cat magnet, since he knows I love my cats, which I think is so cute. Stupid blogger is not letting me upload any pictures now. What the F*CK!!!! I've tried about fifty thousand times now and it's not working. I'll try once more and if it doesn't work, I'll post the pictures of the presents after I get off trial. Okay, I tried again and NOTHING. That is seriously so annoying. And I can't edit at work, cause my computer here for some reason will push the whole post down half a page and I can't get it back up afterward.

Well this afternoon I'll post those pictures, and do a quick update on Saturday and Sunday. And I'll have to wait until tomorrow to post my other nice things that I wrote out this weekend since I couldn't type them.