Little update
I JUST finished cancelling my date with Justinian tonight. I was so annoyed with him that there's no way I actually wanted to go out with him. And as The Meat told me yesterday, "Life's too short to do things you don't want to do." So I told Justinian that I just got back together with my old boyfriend, who I was on and then off with. That was also The Meat's idea, as opposed to the other option of telling him I just wasn't interested.
What sealed the deal, besides his statement on Tuesday that "it was okay...as long as he knew he'd see me on Saturday", was the message he left me on Thursday night: "Hi Cat, it's Justinian, I'm just calling to finalize our plans for Saturday. Give me a call..." I have some pet peeves, I admit it. I don't like the phrase "touch base" - it makes me cringe. And I cringed equally as much when I heard him say he wanted to f*cking finalize our plans - that's just gross and annoying. He called last night, too, while I was at the movies with Florida, Asparagus and TIC, and said THE EXACT SAME THING!! After all that, and yes, call me what you will, but there was no way I could go out with him without being quite annoyed and almost mean.
He took it pretty well. Although, when I apologized for not calling him back on Thursday and Friday, he again said "that's okay" but in a tone as if he was nicely forgiving me. After I told him about me and the non-existent old boyfriend getting back together, he said "well, you win some, you lose some." So, that's done, I feel a weight lifted from me!!!
I'm watching Love Actually right now as I type - lovely British accents and the British humor (or humour) that I'm starting to understand and appreciate a bit more as I see more and more bits of British TV and movies.
I have been remiss the past couple days with writing! My excuses: on Thursday I brought my laptop to work so we could all watch a very hilarious DVD (only 7 minutes long - we weren't watching movies at work!) And after work, I had my first board meeting for my volunteer group at a little bar/restaurant and didn't get home until 8:30, and then had to set the computer to recharging. And while it was recharging, I decided to get productive: I brought four loads of laundry downstairs, emptied the dishwasher (yay!) and loaded the few dirty dishes, wiped down the kitchen counter, and then, I hit the bedroom which I hadn't cleaned, straightened or done anything to in a few months. I hung up the clothes that were still clean but draped all over my dresser, I picked up all the crap littered around the floor, I put stuff away, I went through my makeup and put away the stuff I don't regularly use and laid the other stuff on top of the case, I washed and dusted my dresser and set my perfume and crap on it. And dusted the rest of my room. And eventually got the clothes out of the dryer and folded and hung up all of them. Oh, and cleaned the floor in my bathroom. As a result of all this, I didn't get to bed until almost 3 am. (My bedroom was REALLY dirty!)
And then last night, as I said above, I went to the movies with Florida, Asparagus and TIC, and before that was at TIC's house where she made chili for us - I was the only one who thought it was so spicy - my lips were on fire! But it was still yummy! And before that I ate tortillas with her homemade guacamole (I LOVE everything avacado!), and also a couple slices of french bread with tapenade, a slice of salami and a slice of cheese - now that was fabulous! Then we all went to see Flightplan. It was entertaining, as movies should be, so it was fun. But I will admit that we all kind of picked it apart on the way home - we were being quite critical! When I got home, although it was only about 10:30, I was so sleepy, and instead of typing, I took a personality test in a book I bought some eight years ago. And then got ready for bed.
Back to Thursday night, when I was at the bar/restaurant for our board meeting. First of all, the meeting went pretty well. There were just four of us, and all are nice, so we chatted a bit first, and then I sort of started our informal meeting, and we just discussed our future fundraiser events and a couple ideas I had for other ones, which I actually got from The Meat. It went well and we have great ideas and we moved forward a bit, and a couple of them took on responsibilities for doing a bit of research on venues for two of our events. Still, I wasn't completely comfortable - first, I don't like being the "leader" and second, the girls are very nice and friendly, but for some reason I'm just not completely comfortable.
Next, Warsteiner (from over a month ago) was there and came over to say hi. We hugged and chatted a bit, and I introduced him to everyone. We had finished up with dinner and the meeting and were just getting ready to pay the bill. It was nice, cause Warsteiner and I could chat and it was like seeing an old acquaintance, and also, he had said before that he was never able to be friends with ex-girlfriends, but because we were never really boyfriend-girlfriend, and also because it just kind of fell apart due to his work and never seeing each other, I had no hard feelings and neither did he. He was giving me his little lovey look a bit, smiling and staring into my eyes. And that was flattering, of course! After we paid, I went over to quickly say bye to him before walking one of the ladies to the L. He was with his ex-roommate and the guy's fiance, who I met for the first time. Talk about a boring couple - I can't picture them ever having fun! Warsteiner was making eyes again and asked if he could buy me a beer. I told him I was taking a break from drinking for awhile. And then it was time for me to leave, and I first stuck out my hand which was weird for me, I guess I was thrown off a bit, and then I hugged him.
Third, and this bothered me for awhile and still does. I didn't order a drink and on purpose ordered the cheapest thing on the menu, which I happen to also adore - French Onion Soup. So, my total order was $5. The other three ordered a drink each (and one girl got a very expensive glass of wine) and meals that were around $7.50 each. So while I was talking to Warsteiner, the bill came, and apparently one girl, who by the way is very rich (she and her husband are in the process of negotiating a contract for new construction - they are getting the whole fourth floor of this condo building, around 3,300 square feet, and having the entire thing customized) split it up equally and said we each owed $13. I understand that money doesn't mean a lot to her, but it does to me, because I have VERY LITTLE of it. Everyone else put in exact change. I said "I don't have exact, I have $10, so I purposely ordered cheaply." The other young girl sort of gave me an understanding look, and the Rich Girl took out her wallet and put $3 more in.
It made me feel terrible. And I was mad because I had to be put in that situation to be made to feel bad and poor. And I was mad that I had to give my whole $10 when I would have just put in $7. My whole walk home I felt bad about it and mad about it. Add to that the fact that by the time we left the place, it was completely filled up with people drinking. And it's not that I wanted a drink, which I didn't, but I was thinking about the fact that I loved every once in awhile hanging out in a bar and drinking and talking, and I won't be able to do that anymore. So that made me sad. And then I was passing a few couples walking, and also heard a couple girls shouting from a house where there was obviously a bit of a party going on, and it all made me feel extremely lonely. I was so happy to get home, and luckily my cleaning activities took my mind off all of that.
In other news, I took off a couple days last pay period that I didn't have available (one of those days I know was from drinking and was the day that made me decide to stop and get help), so I didn't get paid for two days. And yesterday my rent check cleared. So now, for the next two weeks, I have exactly $74.99 in my account. Although I will be returning two shirts that I bought a month ago to Express, and I also have three t-shirts to return to Ann Taylor Loft (although they were only $17 each). So that will add a bit. At least I have money to go get more cat litter for James and Emma, cause when I cleaned out their litter pan on Wednesday and went to refill it, I discovered that I had used most of the litter already in my last container. And I'll have money to stock up on cat food for the next couple weeks, and get new garbage bags, and have $20 in there to add to my CTA card so I can get to work and home each day. I think I may have to call my mom and ask her for a bit of money to tide me over, so I can pay some of my smaller bills. And then I'll be in a much better place in two weeks when I get paid again, as I can pay the rest of the bills, and also have some extra left over. And I won't be ordering late-night bottles of wine and food, so the money won't disappear.
Enough of my money woes. How boring! In other news, fall has officially arrived - it's quite chilly outside! And although I have been so excited for fall weather coming, this hasn't been the best fall weather possible - it's been cloudy and windy and even rainy yesterday! I want beautiful sunny days with the chill crispness in the air!! But I'm being such a baby, I know. And I think the rest of the weekend is going to be much better, thankfully!!
I told The Meat about my problem with drinking. I never came right out and said it, but told him in many words. And told him that Florida is being so good at helping me. He's being very wonderful and supportive, and ruffled my hair and told me so many people care about me. Which made my eyes get all teary. And when I said bye to him last night, he said in his wonderful gruff manner, "Be good this weekend" - and I smiled and said I would be. It's a long weekend, too, cause we have Monday off - government holiday - Columbus Day. How great is that!
Well, that's all I have for the moment...
What sealed the deal, besides his statement on Tuesday that "it was okay...as long as he knew he'd see me on Saturday", was the message he left me on Thursday night: "Hi Cat, it's Justinian, I'm just calling to finalize our plans for Saturday. Give me a call..." I have some pet peeves, I admit it. I don't like the phrase "touch base" - it makes me cringe. And I cringed equally as much when I heard him say he wanted to f*cking finalize our plans - that's just gross and annoying. He called last night, too, while I was at the movies with Florida, Asparagus and TIC, and said THE EXACT SAME THING!! After all that, and yes, call me what you will, but there was no way I could go out with him without being quite annoyed and almost mean.
He took it pretty well. Although, when I apologized for not calling him back on Thursday and Friday, he again said "that's okay" but in a tone as if he was nicely forgiving me. After I told him about me and the non-existent old boyfriend getting back together, he said "well, you win some, you lose some." So, that's done, I feel a weight lifted from me!!!
I'm watching Love Actually right now as I type - lovely British accents and the British humor (or humour) that I'm starting to understand and appreciate a bit more as I see more and more bits of British TV and movies.
I have been remiss the past couple days with writing! My excuses: on Thursday I brought my laptop to work so we could all watch a very hilarious DVD (only 7 minutes long - we weren't watching movies at work!) And after work, I had my first board meeting for my volunteer group at a little bar/restaurant and didn't get home until 8:30, and then had to set the computer to recharging. And while it was recharging, I decided to get productive: I brought four loads of laundry downstairs, emptied the dishwasher (yay!) and loaded the few dirty dishes, wiped down the kitchen counter, and then, I hit the bedroom which I hadn't cleaned, straightened or done anything to in a few months. I hung up the clothes that were still clean but draped all over my dresser, I picked up all the crap littered around the floor, I put stuff away, I went through my makeup and put away the stuff I don't regularly use and laid the other stuff on top of the case, I washed and dusted my dresser and set my perfume and crap on it. And dusted the rest of my room. And eventually got the clothes out of the dryer and folded and hung up all of them. Oh, and cleaned the floor in my bathroom. As a result of all this, I didn't get to bed until almost 3 am. (My bedroom was REALLY dirty!)
And then last night, as I said above, I went to the movies with Florida, Asparagus and TIC, and before that was at TIC's house where she made chili for us - I was the only one who thought it was so spicy - my lips were on fire! But it was still yummy! And before that I ate tortillas with her homemade guacamole (I LOVE everything avacado!), and also a couple slices of french bread with tapenade, a slice of salami and a slice of cheese - now that was fabulous! Then we all went to see Flightplan. It was entertaining, as movies should be, so it was fun. But I will admit that we all kind of picked it apart on the way home - we were being quite critical! When I got home, although it was only about 10:30, I was so sleepy, and instead of typing, I took a personality test in a book I bought some eight years ago. And then got ready for bed.
Back to Thursday night, when I was at the bar/restaurant for our board meeting. First of all, the meeting went pretty well. There were just four of us, and all are nice, so we chatted a bit first, and then I sort of started our informal meeting, and we just discussed our future fundraiser events and a couple ideas I had for other ones, which I actually got from The Meat. It went well and we have great ideas and we moved forward a bit, and a couple of them took on responsibilities for doing a bit of research on venues for two of our events. Still, I wasn't completely comfortable - first, I don't like being the "leader" and second, the girls are very nice and friendly, but for some reason I'm just not completely comfortable.
Next, Warsteiner (from over a month ago) was there and came over to say hi. We hugged and chatted a bit, and I introduced him to everyone. We had finished up with dinner and the meeting and were just getting ready to pay the bill. It was nice, cause Warsteiner and I could chat and it was like seeing an old acquaintance, and also, he had said before that he was never able to be friends with ex-girlfriends, but because we were never really boyfriend-girlfriend, and also because it just kind of fell apart due to his work and never seeing each other, I had no hard feelings and neither did he. He was giving me his little lovey look a bit, smiling and staring into my eyes. And that was flattering, of course! After we paid, I went over to quickly say bye to him before walking one of the ladies to the L. He was with his ex-roommate and the guy's fiance, who I met for the first time. Talk about a boring couple - I can't picture them ever having fun! Warsteiner was making eyes again and asked if he could buy me a beer. I told him I was taking a break from drinking for awhile. And then it was time for me to leave, and I first stuck out my hand which was weird for me, I guess I was thrown off a bit, and then I hugged him.
Third, and this bothered me for awhile and still does. I didn't order a drink and on purpose ordered the cheapest thing on the menu, which I happen to also adore - French Onion Soup. So, my total order was $5. The other three ordered a drink each (and one girl got a very expensive glass of wine) and meals that were around $7.50 each. So while I was talking to Warsteiner, the bill came, and apparently one girl, who by the way is very rich (she and her husband are in the process of negotiating a contract for new construction - they are getting the whole fourth floor of this condo building, around 3,300 square feet, and having the entire thing customized) split it up equally and said we each owed $13. I understand that money doesn't mean a lot to her, but it does to me, because I have VERY LITTLE of it. Everyone else put in exact change. I said "I don't have exact, I have $10, so I purposely ordered cheaply." The other young girl sort of gave me an understanding look, and the Rich Girl took out her wallet and put $3 more in.
It made me feel terrible. And I was mad because I had to be put in that situation to be made to feel bad and poor. And I was mad that I had to give my whole $10 when I would have just put in $7. My whole walk home I felt bad about it and mad about it. Add to that the fact that by the time we left the place, it was completely filled up with people drinking. And it's not that I wanted a drink, which I didn't, but I was thinking about the fact that I loved every once in awhile hanging out in a bar and drinking and talking, and I won't be able to do that anymore. So that made me sad. And then I was passing a few couples walking, and also heard a couple girls shouting from a house where there was obviously a bit of a party going on, and it all made me feel extremely lonely. I was so happy to get home, and luckily my cleaning activities took my mind off all of that.
In other news, I took off a couple days last pay period that I didn't have available (one of those days I know was from drinking and was the day that made me decide to stop and get help), so I didn't get paid for two days. And yesterday my rent check cleared. So now, for the next two weeks, I have exactly $74.99 in my account. Although I will be returning two shirts that I bought a month ago to Express, and I also have three t-shirts to return to Ann Taylor Loft (although they were only $17 each). So that will add a bit. At least I have money to go get more cat litter for James and Emma, cause when I cleaned out their litter pan on Wednesday and went to refill it, I discovered that I had used most of the litter already in my last container. And I'll have money to stock up on cat food for the next couple weeks, and get new garbage bags, and have $20 in there to add to my CTA card so I can get to work and home each day. I think I may have to call my mom and ask her for a bit of money to tide me over, so I can pay some of my smaller bills. And then I'll be in a much better place in two weeks when I get paid again, as I can pay the rest of the bills, and also have some extra left over. And I won't be ordering late-night bottles of wine and food, so the money won't disappear.
Enough of my money woes. How boring! In other news, fall has officially arrived - it's quite chilly outside! And although I have been so excited for fall weather coming, this hasn't been the best fall weather possible - it's been cloudy and windy and even rainy yesterday! I want beautiful sunny days with the chill crispness in the air!! But I'm being such a baby, I know. And I think the rest of the weekend is going to be much better, thankfully!!
I told The Meat about my problem with drinking. I never came right out and said it, but told him in many words. And told him that Florida is being so good at helping me. He's being very wonderful and supportive, and ruffled my hair and told me so many people care about me. Which made my eyes get all teary. And when I said bye to him last night, he said in his wonderful gruff manner, "Be good this weekend" - and I smiled and said I would be. It's a long weekend, too, cause we have Monday off - government holiday - Columbus Day. How great is that!
Well, that's all I have for the moment...
