Harry Potter and the story of The German
Today is sooooo much better for my fingers. Yesterday I could hardly type as my left hand fingertips were so sore from so much guitar playing!!
And speaking of guitar, I was sucking all over the place on Wednesday night. Mostly because I can only concentrate on one hand at a time. We were working on strumming. Note that I'm still very much a beginner and although I CAN change chords without looking, I usually look, or at least am thinking about my fingers changing position. So when the teacher had us do a strum of up-down-up-stop-up-down-up-stop, I really needed to concentrate on that. And it was fucking impossible to then play the song! The song was super-easy and just went back and forth between C and G, but I'd either forget to change the chord cause I was concentrating so much on the strumming, or I'd remember to change the chord and get completely lost with the strumming. The one good thing was that I heard tons of other people also forgetting to change the chord as well. So, I need to practice this impossible strumming thing along with chord changes so I don't suck at my next lesson!
Tonight...Harry Potter!!!! Yay!!!! I'm so excited! I already bough
t tickets online for Florida, TIC and myself. The movie starts at 6:15, so TIC and I are going really early to get good seats saved for us. I'm going to want to reread all the books after tonight!
A couple days ago I picked up the check from The German's doorman and yesterday it had cleared, so I completely paid off two of my three credit cards. When I go home this next Tuesday night, my mom will give me the check for $4,000, and I'll pay off the third credit card. Yesterday I also went through all my on-line payments from the past year and first separated them by payee, and then by month, and figured the total amount I paid for each month along with the total amount paid to credit cards. And then made out a simple budget for myself. I'll have to do more, but it's a good start!
So, a couple people asked about The German! If you want to read a reeeeeeally long post (there's a link there, you just can hardly see it) from the end of August, I told the whole story and much more. But for the short story, here it is! First of all, to get it out there - there's no future for us as significant others. Unfortunately.
We dated for eight months in 2003 and spent almost all our free time together and were so happy. He was so wonderful and loving and affectionate and we did all kinds of fun things together, and he got me out and taught me things and I was so in love. He was my first real boyfriend in years, but I wasn't smitten just because of that but because of him.
Anyway, I was thinking about a future with him, and on December 7, as he was making his final plans for his month vacation down the Central America the next week, we talked about me going there for a week to meet him, and decided to do it. That night I called my mom and she used her FF miles to get me a flight. And then I got a call from downstairs, from The German. I didn't know why he was at my place cause we hadn't planned it, but I was of course happy. When he came in, he looked sad and said "I come not with good news." And then broke my heart.
Why? Because although he loved me, he didn't love me like I loved him, but loved me more as a sister. And he has no interest in ever getting married or having children. And is in many ways a loner, even though you wouldn't guess it from spending time with him. An example - he dreams of retiring in a few years (he's almost 41), buying a sailboat, and just sailing around the world by himself and living on the boat. Kind of cool, yes, but not to do alone! Anyway, he didn't want things to keep going the fabulous way they were and for me to waste years on him when it wouldn't lead to anything. Which was good of him. He had dated his previous girlfriend for four years and they eventually broke up because he didn't want to change anything in the relationship or move forward in any way.
Anyway, on that night I wept and wept and wept and he cried, too. And for the next week before he left on vacation we spent all our time together except he'd no longer spend the night. He emailed about every other day while on vacation. And it's been a long road since then to where we are now - we very slowly moved more towards friendship and hooked up less and less often, and we got closer and closer as well. BUT, he still doesn't ever want to get married or have children, and although he loves me, I really don't think he's normal in the head in that he doesn't develop the same kind of feelings as the rest of us do, and doesn't need people like the rest of us do. He's odd, but I still adore him. And he always tells me that I'll find the right person eventually and that I'm the perfect girl. I sometimes tell him about guys I've dated but never alot, and he sort of seems to gleam onto the bad things when I do tell him anything. I don't know, it's complicated!
Some days I still adore him and sometimes when he leaves or I leave after we spent a day together I get sad. But other times I love it just as it is and love having him as my wonderful friend. And by the way, he is now calling me every morning to make sure I'm awake, which is very sweet! However, although I may say I'm fine with how things are, that does not mean that I'm fine with him having any contact with other girls. I get jealous in the extreme if I ever get the impression that he may have gone on an actual date. Which to my knowledge he hasn't. After me, I guess he learned his lesson that he's not meant to be with anyone and he doesn't want to hurt anyone else. But he better not even try dating anyone else! It would break my heart and kill me and I wouldn't be able to talk to him anymore.
Okay, phew, there's the story! I typed more than I expected to, but I could have typed sooooooooo much more! But now, I'm going to get excited about Harry Potter!!!! I can't wait! Tomorrow I'll be hanging out with a friend all day, and on Sunday I'll hopefully see The German for a bit. I want him to go to Trader Joe's with me.
Oh - and very quickly - the book I'm reading right now is Changing my whole outlook on food! The book is SuperFoods RX, and it talks about 14 foods that should be in your diet and why and what diseases and/or conditions they can help prevent and well, it's just fascinating!!! So far I've read the chapters on Beans, Blueberries, Broccoli, and Oats. And I started on Oranges today. Last night I went to Sherman's, a health food store, and bought frozen blueberries and raspberries, blueberry juice, frozen broccoli tops, flax meal, wheat germ, oatmeal, granola, two cans of beans, and a package of dried lentils. And I know a few other things as well. Don't ever say I don't jump right into things!!! :) Just wait until I have to incorporate all 14 things almost every day! Shit! But this is good cause it gives me a plan! And there's so much science behind it all!!! Oh how exciting!!!!
And now, I have to get ready to go see Harry Potter and all the exciting magic action!!! Yay!!! I'll try to get to the internet cafe on Sunday to type and read everyone else's blogs, cause otherwise Monday mornings I don't get much real work done :)
And speaking of guitar, I was sucking all over the place on Wednesday night. Mostly because I can only concentrate on one hand at a time. We were working on strumming. Note that I'm still very much a beginner and although I CAN change chords without looking, I usually look, or at least am thinking about my fingers changing position. So when the teacher had us do a strum of up-down-up-stop-up-down-up-stop, I really needed to concentrate on that. And it was fucking impossible to then play the song! The song was super-easy and just went back and forth between C and G, but I'd either forget to change the chord cause I was concentrating so much on the strumming, or I'd remember to change the chord and get completely lost with the strumming. The one good thing was that I heard tons of other people also forgetting to change the chord as well. So, I need to practice this impossible strumming thing along with chord changes so I don't suck at my next lesson!
Tonight...Harry Potter!!!! Yay!!!! I'm so excited! I already bough
t tickets online for Florida, TIC and myself. The movie starts at 6:15, so TIC and I are going really early to get good seats saved for us. I'm going to want to reread all the books after tonight!A couple days ago I picked up the check from The German's doorman and yesterday it had cleared, so I completely paid off two of my three credit cards. When I go home this next Tuesday night, my mom will give me the check for $4,000, and I'll pay off the third credit card. Yesterday I also went through all my on-line payments from the past year and first separated them by payee, and then by month, and figured the total amount I paid for each month along with the total amount paid to credit cards. And then made out a simple budget for myself. I'll have to do more, but it's a good start!
So, a couple people asked about The German! If you want to read a reeeeeeally long post (there's a link there, you just can hardly see it) from the end of August, I told the whole story and much more. But for the short story, here it is! First of all, to get it out there - there's no future for us as significant others. Unfortunately.
We dated for eight months in 2003 and spent almost all our free time together and were so happy. He was so wonderful and loving and affectionate and we did all kinds of fun things together, and he got me out and taught me things and I was so in love. He was my first real boyfriend in years, but I wasn't smitten just because of that but because of him.
Anyway, I was thinking about a future with him, and on December 7, as he was making his final plans for his month vacation down the Central America the next week, we talked about me going there for a week to meet him, and decided to do it. That night I called my mom and she used her FF miles to get me a flight. And then I got a call from downstairs, from The German. I didn't know why he was at my place cause we hadn't planned it, but I was of course happy. When he came in, he looked sad and said "I come not with good news." And then broke my heart.
Why? Because although he loved me, he didn't love me like I loved him, but loved me more as a sister. And he has no interest in ever getting married or having children. And is in many ways a loner, even though you wouldn't guess it from spending time with him. An example - he dreams of retiring in a few years (he's almost 41), buying a sailboat, and just sailing around the world by himself and living on the boat. Kind of cool, yes, but not to do alone! Anyway, he didn't want things to keep going the fabulous way they were and for me to waste years on him when it wouldn't lead to anything. Which was good of him. He had dated his previous girlfriend for four years and they eventually broke up because he didn't want to change anything in the relationship or move forward in any way.
Anyway, on that night I wept and wept and wept and he cried, too. And for the next week before he left on vacation we spent all our time together except he'd no longer spend the night. He emailed about every other day while on vacation. And it's been a long road since then to where we are now - we very slowly moved more towards friendship and hooked up less and less often, and we got closer and closer as well. BUT, he still doesn't ever want to get married or have children, and although he loves me, I really don't think he's normal in the head in that he doesn't develop the same kind of feelings as the rest of us do, and doesn't need people like the rest of us do. He's odd, but I still adore him. And he always tells me that I'll find the right person eventually and that I'm the perfect girl. I sometimes tell him about guys I've dated but never alot, and he sort of seems to gleam onto the bad things when I do tell him anything. I don't know, it's complicated!
Some days I still adore him and sometimes when he leaves or I leave after we spent a day together I get sad. But other times I love it just as it is and love having him as my wonderful friend. And by the way, he is now calling me every morning to make sure I'm awake, which is very sweet! However, although I may say I'm fine with how things are, that does not mean that I'm fine with him having any contact with other girls. I get jealous in the extreme if I ever get the impression that he may have gone on an actual date. Which to my knowledge he hasn't. After me, I guess he learned his lesson that he's not meant to be with anyone and he doesn't want to hurt anyone else. But he better not even try dating anyone else! It would break my heart and kill me and I wouldn't be able to talk to him anymore.
Okay, phew, there's the story! I typed more than I expected to, but I could have typed sooooooooo much more! But now, I'm going to get excited about Harry Potter!!!! I can't wait! Tomorrow I'll be hanging out with a friend all day, and on Sunday I'll hopefully see The German for a bit. I want him to go to Trader Joe's with me.
Oh - and very quickly - the book I'm reading right now is Changing my whole outlook on food! The book is SuperFoods RX, and it talks about 14 foods that should be in your diet and why and what diseases and/or conditions they can help prevent and well, it's just fascinating!!! So far I've read the chapters on Beans, Blueberries, Broccoli, and Oats. And I started on Oranges today. Last night I went to Sherman's, a health food store, and bought frozen blueberries and raspberries, blueberry juice, frozen broccoli tops, flax meal, wheat germ, oatmeal, granola, two cans of beans, and a package of dried lentils. And I know a few other things as well. Don't ever say I don't jump right into things!!! :) Just wait until I have to incorporate all 14 things almost every day! Shit! But this is good cause it gives me a plan! And there's so much science behind it all!!! Oh how exciting!!!!
And now, I have to get ready to go see Harry Potter and all the exciting magic action!!! Yay!!! I'll try to get to the internet cafe on Sunday to type and read everyone else's blogs, cause otherwise Monday mornings I don't get much real work done :)
